A Wolf's Miracle

Chapter 67

H a r l a n

The six months that followed after Violette's return was full of incessant planning and preparation. 

But as Selene's due date grew nearer Damien became more desperate. And in a way so did Diana, because a while back they had an important conversation.

"How is Damien holding up?" Diana asked while they were tangled up in bed, her head resting calmly on his naked chest.

"He's freaking out, Selene is ready to pop"Harlan responded earning a look from his mate. "I couldn't imagine what he's feeling. The sheer terror of having a kid plus the fear of impending doom."

"Sheer terror?" Diana asked with a smile on her lips "So that is what you think of children? That they are terrifying?"

Harlan rolled his eyes "I guess I'd be more scared of fucking up, too much responsibility" And he was glad he didn't have to think about it, Diana being on the pill and all.

Diana lifted her head to look him in the eye "You do want kids eventually, right?" there was worry in her voice.

Harlan realized then that he had never thought about it. It seemed like something that would never happen to him, something so distant and foreign. "Do you want kids?"

"Yeah!" she exclaimed "I want to have a family with you."

But he wouldn't know how to do that, he never had a functioning family. He wouldn't know how to be a father, the closest thing he got was Damien and he was barely older than him. He had never even held a baby.

"There is still so much you don't know about me, about the things I've done and the things that were done to me," Harlan said "I'm not sure I would be a good father," he said and it seemed to break her heart.

"You will be a great father," Diana said "And if there are some things I still don't know, you should tell me, you surely know I won't leave you, right?"

He scoffed "You have no idea what you are saying,"

"I do!" she said with a smile "I bet I won't even be surprised."

He rolled his eyes "Fine," she wanted to know, he would tell her everything. Her smile disappeared as she concentrated on what he was about to tell her. "I was once sent on a mission to kill an innocent man just because he hadn't offered his daughters to my father's harem" he looked into her eyes and found sadness but nothing else "I did it, and I felt nothing."

"Nothing?" she asked, voice neutral.

"Nothing" he answered.

"Why?" she asked.

"Because I did it for him. Because even though I knew it was wrong all I wanted was his approval" Harlan answered without thinking "And even then he punished me because the girls escaped."

She then looked at him with so much love and pity he had to look away. 

"I don't want your pity," he said "I don't deserve it" he removed his hand from her waist and let it fall back on the bed next to her.

"I do not pity you," Diana said "I'm just sad you had to go through that, and I'm angry that bastard is still alive" He had had a lot of talks about this with her ever since he realized his father was alive.

"Not for long" That was a promise.

"Is that the worst thing you have done?" She asked and he sighed.

Not looking at her as he kept going. He told her about every single detail, every kill, every torture he inflicted and was inflicted upon him. He told her everything and when he was done he felt so much lighter.

"I can't fix you, Harlan, no matter how much I love you. I can not love the wounds out of you," she said, stroking his hair. "I can help give you the tools to do so, but I cannot do it for you." She then explained she shouldn't treat him because it was important for there to be a limit between her role as his mate and as his therapist.

She told him she would give him advice and teach him techniques, and she would always be there if he wanted to talk. But that it wasn't ethical for her to treat him.

She suggested going to that doctor she and Selene had been so happy going to, but he declined. 

"I'll go," he said after much insisting "But only after all of this business with my father is done, I will go once he's dead." If only because he was afraid the doctor would free him of the monster inside of him before he was ready to let it go. 

He needed that dark part of him to end his father. Because the only way they would win was by using fire with fire.

And as they closed in on the next full moon he could feel Damien losing sanity, completely terrified of what his father might do to Selene and their child. Whose gender was still a secret goddess knows why.

Gemma came back, to keep an eye on Selene but mostly because she was worried. Damien wasn't sleeping or eating well. He was tired and worried most of the time. And Selene was heartbroken. 

She was devastated because she somehow found a way to blame herself for her mate's pain, as she often did. She tried her best to make him happy, to make everyone happy, she always had. 

And Harlan was afraid, afraid of losing those he loved. Afraid of losing her. He'd lost her once, he wouldn't lose her again... 

So he trained with her every day because he knew that she would never want to let others fight for her. And he prepared her as much as he could for what was coming.

Because this time he wouldn't lose anyone, this time Everest wouldn't win. This time it will be the end for him and his group of fucking idiots.

He'd make sure of it.