A Wolf's Miracle

Chapter 53

H a r l a n

It took everything he had to leave. He knew he couldn't stay there and listen to any of it, he would absolutely lose his mind and attack Blaze, maybe even kill him.

And right then, he couldn't think of a reason why he shouldn't. He stayed there for a moment, hoping she might shoot him down and crush his heart, and he was happy about that. He was happy because he wanted to see him suffer for trying to take someone away from him, from taking her.

He was not thinking clearly, he knew that, he went feral the second he told her he loved her, he completely lost it when instead of crushing his heart she said she loved him back. That hurt and angered him, and he had to leave or he would have destroyed Blaze.

Blaze is your friend. He tried to remember this, he tried to gain back the humanity that had been lost the moment Diana uttered those words.

Did she mean it? She couldn't have.

Harlan was sure she liked him, he was certain, and he felt it every time she looked at him. So something was wrong here, something was going on...

"Harlan," a voice interrupted his thoughts, her voice.

"What?" he said as coldly as he could, trying to keep this beast inside of him at bay.

"Are you okay?" She asked, worried as if she wanted to comfort him, but he didn't need her pity.

"Why wouldn't I be?" he said.

"Why did you walk out?" This was ridiculous, she knew why he walked out.

He looked away "I just couldn't bear it," he said. It was true, the thought of those words coming out of her mouth made him angry, and the thought of her with him... It made him feral and made him feel sick.

"Couldn't bare what?" She asked, this was getting irritating. Diana knew perfectly what she was doing with her therapeutic shit.

"You saying that to him, I couldn't stand it." He ran a hand through his short brown hair.

"Why?" she asked and he suddenly couldn't contain his anger anymore.

 "You know why." Anger laced every word. How could she be doing this to him?

That seemed to anger her as well, he didn't know why, she had no reason to be angry "No, Harlan. I don't."

Did she want to play this game? He knew he would win. He always won "Do you want me to say it?"

"Yes," she said and it came out breathless. That flipped a switch inside him and he suddenly wasn't angry anymore, he was hungry.

He smirked, loving her little reactions "The reason," he said coming closer until her back was to a tree and his arms were on each side of her, preventing her escape.

"Is very simple," he could smell her arousal, the change of her breathing and heartbeat. He could feel what he was doing to her, but it wasn't enough, he needed her right then and there.

"What is it?" She was brave, he liked that, but bravery only came so far as her own voice failed her.

He gently ran the backside of his hand along her cheek"You shouldn't be with him," he started, saying what he knew right now to be true "You should be with me." He declared.

"I..." she couldn't speak. He could feel her interest but he was starting to regret this, he was no longer in control, he'd let the beast run free and now there were consequences.

He reigned it back enough to say"From the moment I met you I couldn't stop thinking about you" he looked at her full and inviting lips and lost control again "I've always wanted to know how you taste" he grabbed and took ahold of her face"How you feel around me," he wanted to kiss her "I've always wanted to make you mine."

Suddenly he gave into his desires and crashed his lips into hers. But then he thought about it, the last time she cried before he kissed her what if she--

His thought was interrupted by her kissing him back with such hunger and force he lost himself again. That was until he felt it. The telltale electric feeling, the pleasant and completely addicting sensation of the mating bond. He felt it snap into place, felt it tie her to him forever and he was happy, for a second. But then he realized what it meant.

Immediately, he broke apart, staring at her and seeing what he had always seen but ten times multiplied. He could stare at her forever because she was his and he was hers.

But no, she wasn't, she couldn't be. No matter how much the voice inside of him was telling her to mark her or to tell her, he kept his mouth shut. Only because he knew the truth. 

She loved someone else.

But he felt that kiss, knew she felt the same... He decided it didn't matter because, to him, her choices always mattered the most.

"Harlan, what--" she started "What happened?"

He stared at her for a while and then his eyes turned sad knowing he had to let her go "But I can't," he stated, continuing the sentence he started before"Because I'll never be enough for you" There it was. The truth is he always knew it, and this little fantasy, this little jealousy scene he just did, did nothing but play into it. He needed to let her go.

 "Be happy," he said and ran away as fast as he could before she could tell him something that would make this more difficult.

She should be with the one she loved, no matter how much it destroyed him.

Blaze was a good guy, he'd take care of her in ways he never could.

But even then, as he kept running, he thought of her. Of how much of a jerk he was to her when they met.

He remembered feeling annoyed by her, by her beauty and her personality, if only because she was stubborn like him. But mostly he was annoyed at this feeling, at the truth he'd been denying all along.

He loved Diana, Damien was right. But the truth is he felt something for her even when he found her in those woods. And it was the sheer force of that feeling that annoyed him because he couldn't escape it... No matter how far away he went.

Harlan knew that by doing this, he'd assure himself a lifetime of unhappiness. But it wouldn't matter as long as she was happy and safe.

He looked up at the moon and felt the need to shift, to run and run fast. But he didn't shift, he only ran.

He ran to escape his sadness.

He ran to escape his guilt.

He ran to escape his pain.

He ran to escape her.