Gracious

Chapter 23

A/N - this chapter >>

TW: scenes some may find upsetting

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"It's Halloween in a week Zane", I tore my gaze away from the double doors I was so used to walking into this time last year and looked at Xavier, one of the only people who had the ability to put a smile on my face without even doing anything.

"I'm aware", I nodded once and tapped my wheel, "do you want to do anything?". I knew the others didn't, but Xavier was never one to shy away from what he wanted regardless of anyone else's opinion.

"Xan said we're not babies anymore", he shrugged, "he said we need to grow up".

I stand corrected.

"You're twelve years old, nobody's expecting you to grow up", I told him, giving him my full attention, "you're a child Xavier, you're allowed to have fun".

"You weren't", he said quietly, fiddling with his blue t-shirt and avoiding my gaze, "Xan's right anyway, we need to grow up". The fact that their childhood and innocence had been ripped out from under their feet and replaced with whatever this was did nothing but crush me.

"You're allowed to have fun if you want to", I told him, cupping a hand behind his head, "screw what Alexander says". His eyes widened a little before a small smile stretched across his face and he nodded, glancing back out of the window and sighing.

"I wonder what he's saying in there", he muttered, rubbing his hands on his thighs, "he's taking ages". He wasn't wrong, and ever since Alexander had announced that he didn't need me to sit in the room while he had his sessions with Wren, I'd sat in my car for over an hour wondering what on earth he was saying to her. She kept it confidential unless she was truly worried, and he wouldn't give me so much as a sentence about it when he was finished.

"You wanna stand outside for a minute?", I offered, unlocking the doors; it hadn't been on my agenda to drag Xavier along too but he insisted, clearly not thinking about the sitting and waiting in the car aspect. He nodded as he unbuckled his belt, getting out of the car as if it were about to explode; I just rolled down his window and leaned over.

"Can we go ice skating soon?", he dipped his head into the window and grinned, "I wanna show you how good I've got". I didn't pay nearly enough attention to my brother and his hockey as I should've, but trying to juggle all six of them and their interests was easier said than done.

"Of course", I made a mental note to keep a day free in the near future, "I don't doubt you're amazing".

"I don't know why Xan quit", he frowned, "we could've been twin hockey players". I just nodded with a smile, keeping it to myself that I was glad he hadn't taken the sport further. His temper on the ice, even as a child, was unmatched. If he'd have made it big, he would've much rather brawled on the ice than focus on the puck and the net.

"I was contemplating a trip to the cabin this fall", I told him and his face lit up, how one person could radiate so much serotonin, I'd never know.

"Please can we?", he gasped, sticking his head inside even further, "we haven't done that in ages!".

"We'll see, hm?", I had no doubt Enzo would care if I disappeared from work for a week, he knew my brothers came first, "try not to say anything, it's not for certain yet". He nodded eagerly, even proceeding to pretend to zip his mouth shut and toss away the key.

"Why's your head in the window?", the joyous voice of our youngest brother filled the air and Xavier retreated, "I call shotgun".

And here we go...