Gracious

Chapter 36

A/N - after writing scenes with adult Caleb I've realised how far he's come acc sobbing🥹

TW for the majority of this scene

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"You wanted to talk to me?", Chase lowered himself onto the sofa opposite my desk slowly, uncertainty written all over his face; I suppose that was to be expected when I'd called him in here this early on a school day.

"Caleb told me that you knew what he intended to do two nights ago", I got straight to the point, watching him pale slightly and shift in his seat, "which means you not only lied to me, but our brother could've harmed himself without me knowing".

He adjusted his glasses, a hurt expression appearing on his face. As much as I tried to listen to Caleb's plea to not be angry at Chase, and as much as I knew our seventeen year old brother probably thought he was doing what was best at the time, I was still having a hard time getting around it.

"That's not fair", he shook his head, removing his glasses altogether, "you're not putting all of that on me". He was hurt by what I was saying, I could see that, but the idea that we could've lost Caleb the other night was overruling everything else.

"Chase-", I tried to speak again but he cut me off, not having any of this.

"You didn't see him- you're not the one he came to, I am. You didn't see what I saw, do you think that was fucking easy for me?", I don't think I'd ever seen Chase so worked up, so offended, in my life, "he was desperate to go to Theo's- I had to convince him to let me take him. Would you rather I let him go alone? Go off on his own while he felt like that? Because I'm sure we'd be having a whole different conversation right now".

I blinked, lips parting but no sound coming out, not knowing how to respond to that. This was one of the first times one of my brothers had been able to stun me into silence.

"Chase-", I tried again but he stood, wiping at his now red eyes harshly and sliding his glasses back on with a shaky hand- only I could turn a small confrontation into whatever this was.

"I get it, I lied to you, you were scared for his life- probably still are", he moved towards the door and faced me, "but I'd do it ten times fucking over if it meant knowing he was safe two nights ago- safe from himself". His voice cracked on the last word and I winced, rising from my leather chair and stepping forwards, watching his chest rise and fall quicker than usual.

"Let me explain-", he shook his head, raking a hand through his longer blonde hair, it was long enough to pull into a small bun now.

"I'm going to school- you take the twins", was all he said, pulling the door open and freezing when he saw Caleb on the other side. I pinched the bridge of my nose when I looked at the eighteen year old, still wearing the large black hoodie and sweatpants that he'd found in my room yesterday, eyes red-rimmed and brown hair dishevelled.

Chase stepped past him after a moment as if reality set back in, the slam of the front door making me wince a few seconds later.

"You told me you weren't gonna be mad at him", Caleb looked back at me after peering over his shoulder, "he saved my life Zane!".

"I wasn't mad at him", a potential lie, "I wanted to see where he was coming from, make sure he understood the severity of what happened the other night-".

"I begged him to cover for me, what more do you want me to say?", he ran his fingers through his hair, stopping mid way through to tug harshly, "he played a part in stopping me from doing something really stupid last night- and you want to see where he was coming from?".