Rose petals

Chapter 38

"We don't have to do this today you know. We can go home and spend the day with the twins instead." Mason said as he put his hand on my bouncing knee. The nerves were eating me up and I was significantly hot considering how cold it really was.

"I don't want to delay it, I want it over and done with so we can all move past it." I breathed out, closing my eyes and taking in slow breaths to calm my nerves.

It's Mason's birthday soon. I genuinely think he's forgotten with the whole wife coming back to life and forgetting everything she knows to now knowing everything. It's a huge deal and if there was an award for 'most dramatic thing to ever happen to someone' then my name is written all over it. Not only is it Mason's birthday, it's also Mia's. Elle and Emerson have whispered it to me any given chance they have. How they need to buy presents, organise a birthday party, bake them a cake, and anything else you can think of.

It's been a little hard gift shopping and party planning since I haven't really left the house and have been doing it all from our bedroom. Delivery dates are all putting me off because they're awfully close to their birthday, and I can't help but think they won't come in time. And then every time I convince myself I can go out and it's no big deal, I end up back in our bedroom with my coat thrown on the floor and shoes in the hallway.

I just can't do it. I know the chances of me seeing anyone I know are slim to none in this huge city, but I also know how big of a deal it was when I had 'died'. I took the courtesy of digging deep into the internet and finding any news article or social media post about me. It wasn't too hard considering all I needed to do was put the twins birthday in and boom everything was there. When I say everything, I mean everything.

There was no identity written for the girl in the news articles, but anyone who knows my family whether they're neighbours, friends, school teachers, friends of friends, they'd know in an instant. They would've found out about the funeral and instantly put two and two together. And if not that, they would've noticed the lack of my presence and then the presence of the twins I was pregnant with and figured it out from that.

One thing I had learnt was that people are way more interested in the lives of other people than they are their own. I spent an entire night scrolling through the endless comments under news articles, all sharing their thoughts. Some giving their condolences to my family, others leaving hateful comments on what kind of mother I was for putting myself in a situation where I'd get kidnapped. Those people clearly weren't smart enough to think that any sane person wouldn't put themselves in that situation, but then again the world is a very strange place.

"Everly Carter?" I heard the receptionist, Indie, call from the doorway of the waiting room.

Snapping out of my thought, I stood up and lightly shook my body from all the nerves before walking straight out through the door. I didn't look at Mason because I knew I'd use him as a safety net and run out at the last second, knowing he wouldn't judge me for it.

I made my way down the hallway to Kates office, trying to muster up as much fake confidence I could to push through this hour. It's only an hour, it could either go in my favour and be over with before I can even blink, or the world can be against me and decide to stop spinning so I'm stuck in this hour forever.

Knocking on the door, I heard a soft 'come in' before pushing the door open. Kate was already sat down on the couch with two steaming mugs placed on the coffee table. I've grown quite fond of Kate, her whole aura and the way she speaks to me makes me feel as though I'm not talking to a professional but to a friend. She's not pushy, or aggressively writes notes in front of your face making you self conscious about what you had said or question whether or not the answer was right. Even though in therapy there is no right or wrong answer, the answer is whatever you say really.