Rose petals

Chapter 47

The whole process of telling my family about the conversation I had with Annabelle was probably the hardest thing I've ever done. And for a girl that's had a life like I've had, that says a lot. From my earliest memories, the one thing I can always remember is how protective my brothers have always been, and that hasn't changed as I got older. Instead they became more protective with the older I got. Telling them about our sister, my twin sister Emery, was the most soul crushing thing I've ever done. Seeing the men that have been almost indestructible to me, crumble into a broken mess was gut wrenching. Having to go through the death of their little sister, to discovering that she was very much alive, to then learning that their sister did in fact die but not the one they thought. The one they had never known about. The one they never knew existed.

Their faces were paper white with a tinge of green. They looked as though they were going to throw up yesterday's dinner. The lifeless look in their eyes mixed with a look of overwhelming guilt was haunting. Of course they had nothing to feel guilty over, it was no fault of their own that they didn't know about Emery and they can't possibly blame themselves for her death. But that doesn't change anything. On the surface the circumstances are ugly and horrible. Something no family should ever go through. However when you start thinking deeper into things, it hits so hard that you feel as though someone is driving a stake through your heart over and over again.

My sister lived twenty years of her life alone. She had no older brothers to protect her, she had no sister to go to when she needed a friend. My sister had no one except her mother who left her when she was sixteen. My sister was living a life relying on strangers when she could've had her entire family with her. Who did she go to when she was upset? Who took care of her when she was sick? How would she celebrate the holidays? Were they lonely? Did she get every toy she wanted? Did she get bullied in school? Did she have friends to look out for her? Who did she share her happinesses with? When she'd want a hug in the middle of the night did she have anyone to go to? When she'd want snacks or someone to stay up with her who would she go to? What was her favourite Disney movie? What were our similarities and differences? How did she feel when she found out she had a whole family thousands of miles away? Did she know who we were and what we looked like? Did she hate us? Did she hate me?

All these unanswered questions just circling my mind a millions miles a second making me dizzy.

The first thing I did the second I managed to get a hold of myself was order a new headstone for Emery's grave. The least I could do was make sure that everyone knew about her. My sister wasn't going to just be removed off the face of the earth. The second thing I did the second I managed to get a hold of myself was send a message in the family group chat calling a family meeting at dads. Seeing our entire family gather together for a meeting I had called only duh the knife deeper than it was. Emery never got to call a family meeting. She never got to meet her nieces and nephews. She never got to see our family get together like we do.

I barely managed to get the first word out and I was a sobbing mess. The sight of me alone was enough to raise a panic and that only made me cry more. Did my sister have lots of people to worry for her? Despite all the hardships my family and I went through I still had them, I was never completely lonely. But what about her? My brothers were going crazy asking me a million and one questions. My sisters were trying to get me to stop crying. And Mason was stood in the corner on the phone with the guard from the institution trying to find out what had happened and what Annabelle and I had spoken about.

A part of me wishes I could've kept the entire thing to myself. And if it wasn't wrong of me to do so I would've. My family needed to know about Emery, she wasn't about to be a forgotten memory of someone we never knew because she was more than that. She was the girl who got killed because of me. My twin sister died because of me.