Rose petals

Chapter 41

"Get your ass back here right the fuck now or I will smash this glass over your head!" His voice boomed as I tried to push down the fear and embrace the numb feeling that was slowly creeping up on me. I really needed it right now, feeling moments away from passing out, I need something to help me push through.

Rounding the corner out of the kitchen, I scrambled up the staircase. My movements excruciatingly slow, I could feel the blood filling my ears the more I turned my head to see how close he was. There he was, stood at the bottom of the staircase, his beady eyes staring right into mine. Hatred. Pure hatred radiating off of him.

His thundering footsteps were storming behind me, growing louder and louder as he grew closer and closer. I threw myself into my room and slammed the door closed, barricading the door with my own body as my bloody, trembling hands twisted the key to lock the door. The second I heard the lock click soon followed by a fist slamming into the door, I let out a shaky breath and squeezed my eyes shut.

Breathe, Isla. In, one two three four, out, one two three four. I'm fine. I'm just fine. I'm alive, I can breathe, I can see, I can hear, I'm fine. A couple scratches never hurt anyone.

Using the door, I pushed myself up off the floor and dragging myself to my bed. I pulled open the bedside drawer and picked up the first aid kit I had put together from the first time he had...gotten angry. I remember that day like it was yesterday, there were only a couple band aids in the house. Not nearly enough to bandage the large gash on my forearm. I'm got lucky that I was left with the faintest white line as a scar and not an obvious scar.

I put a white washcloth in my mouth to stop myself from making any noise before pouring the rubbing alcohol over my cut palm. The burning sensation spread right through my hand and travelled up my arm as I shook with pain. Screams of pain tore right through me but were thankfully muffled with the washcloth. My entire body felt as if it was burning, it wouldn't be hard to convince me that I was on fire. It took far too long for the burning sensation to calm down but once it did I managed to finally bandage my hand up before moving to my head. There was a cut from my hairline going at least three inches into my hair. A damp patch of blood sticking my hair down making me cringe.

Letting out a muffled groan, I taped a plastic bag around my hand before making my way to the shower. Thankfully enough there was a small bathroom attached to my room. I could probably touch the walls on opposite sides if I stretched my arms out, but it was enough for me. Anything isolated from the man that was waiting outside ready to attack me again was perfect.

Standing under the cold water, I stared at the white floor that was slowly staining red. The once clear water turning red from the blood as I squeezed my eyes closed and let out a breath.

I'm fine. I will be fine. I'm always fine.

My body shook with sobs as I sad under the shower. The echo of the water hitting the glass drowning out any sounds coming from me. I felt small sitting here. I was curled up in a ball with my head buried in my knees. Kate had mentioned that the flashbacks would come at any time of the day or night, they would come in the form of a dream or something I would do would trigger it. They have been coming one by one, sometimes multiple times a day or sometimes only once, some a lot more pleasant than others. I know that I had a best friend named Lizzie and she was probably the best part of this entire situation.

Kate had told both Mason and I that I shouldn't be left alone till the whole flashback period was over, it would be dangerous if I were driving or if I were alone in public or if I was in the shower. There's no way to predict how my body will react and if it'll be the same time each time. The more severe flashbacks are a lot harder on me by a ten fold. My body completely shuts down into a fight of flight from the sudden rush for adrenaline and every time I've had them my reaction has been flight. My brain thinks I'm living through the situation again and so I complete freeze up.