The Lucky One

Chapter Nineteen

"But I'm trying to forget about it

Feelin' like I'm breaking a sweat about it

Wishin' you would kindly get out of my head about it

Tellin' myself one day I'll forget about it

Knowin' that it probably isn't true"

-Cool About It by boygenius

POV Noah

Waking up with Ryland is something I don't think I'll ever get sick of. 

I wake up before he does, and I take a moment to just admire him. His curls are especially messy in the morning, and he's curled up facing me. I take my hand and lightly card my fingers through his hair. He shifts closer to me, and I stifle a laugh, instead opting to pepper his face with soft kisses. 

He groans and tucks his face into the crook of my neck before saying, "Ugh, its so early."

"Its almost 9."

"Exactly! So, so early..." he says, and I just laugh before lightly pushing his head into the pillow so I can get up. He protests, but I just kiss him on the forehead before leaving the bed. 

Once I open the bedroom door, I'm greeted with Appa. He starts jumping at my legs, and I pick him up and let him outside. He races around, and I just watch him with a smile on my face. 

I picture life being like this always. I go home to Ryland and wake up in his arms. We would go on cute dates, and take Appa on walks together. He would come to my games, and I would go to his. We wouldn't have to hide. I could kiss him whenever I wanted, and I wouldn't have to worry about who would see. 

I feel arms wrap around me, and Ryland pulls me closer to him. 

"Appa seems to like it here."

I hum and say, "What about you?"

"Well...its ok, I guess," he says, and I laugh. 

I get an alert on my phone, and see it's an event I have scheduled for later today. I sigh when I see what it is.

"What's wrong?" Ryland asks, and I slip out of his hold to start a pot of coffee. Ryland follows me to the kitchen and sits on a stool while I start the pot. 

"Noah."

I scrub a hand down my face but start talking. 

"I have a dinner with my parents today."

Ryland looks confused and asks, "And this is...a bad thing?"

I groan and say, "Its just...look- my parents love me. But these dinners are always the same. My dad critiques my playing and my mom just lets it happen. It's like, no matter what, my best just isn't good enough. I could win the goddamn NBA championship and it wouldn't matter. Not to mention the way my mom always tries to set me up with different girls-as if I haven't told them a million times that I'm gay!"  

I'm getting myself rilled up, so I take a couple deep breathes. I've been holding onto the counter so hard that my knuckles have turned white. I take my hands off and clench and unclench my fist a couple times. 

Appa comes padding into the kitchen, and I scoop him up before turning to Ryland. 

"Why do you keep going?" he asks, and I sigh.

"They're still my parents. I wouldn't be where I am without them. I know I'd regret it if I cut them off." 

Ryland just hums, and I hand him a cup of coffee. He takes a sip before responding.