The Lucky One

Chapter Twenty-One

"The world was on fire and no one could save me but you

It's strange what desire will make foolish people do

I never dreamed that I'd meet somebody like you

And I never dreamed that I'd lose somebody like you"

-Wicked Game by Chris Isaak

POV Noah

"FUCK!" I yell once I get back in my car. 

I pound my fist into the steering wheel over and over again. 

Fuck the media. Fuck my stupid dad. Fuck my goddamn temper. I've fucked everything up now. 

I can feel the skin on my knuckles split open, and I stop punching my steering wheel. There's blood on it and I flex my hand and see the various wounds I've created. Fuck.

I take a couple deep breaths before rooting through my gym bag. I grab some medical tape and start to wrap my hand, and then I wipe down the steering wheel. My hand aches but not as much as my heart. 

This is not at all how I wanted that conversation to go. 

I had just finished the extra training session coach had us do when I saw that article. I didn't believe it at first. I brushed it off because I knew Ryland wouldn't do that to me. 

Then, I looked at the pictures and I could hear my dad's voice in my head. I could feel every single doubt I ever had surface. All I could think was what if this is real? I needed a clear answer. I needed to look Ryland in the eyes and know the truth.

And so I ask. 

But my own stupid thoughts get in the way. Suddenly, I can't read him. All I can see is my dad telling me that I need to focus. All I can see are the possible things that could happen to my career if our secret got out. 

And so, like a coward, I ran. I took the easy way out. I should have stayed. I should have explained and listened and let Ryland in. I should have trusted him. Now, I'm alone again. 

I run my fingers through my hair, trying to get myself under control. I can't fall apart now. I have practice in 30 minutes, and I can't afford to be sloppy. 

I drive to the practice courts, and once I arrive, I go straight to the lockers. I'm barely holding on, and if I have to make idle chit-chat with people, I think I'll lose it. 

I can feel Paul looking at me, but I'm not prepared to tell him what happened yet. I don't think I would make it through that either. 

Suddenly,  I feel an arm slung over my shoulder. 

"Noah, dude," Rocky says, jostling my shoulder a bit. "I feel like I haven't seen you in weeks!"

"Ah, just been busy."

"You got a girl or something?" he asks, wiggling his eyebrows. I just laugh but say nothing.

"Always the secrets with you," he says, moving to lean against the lockers while I finish getting ready. "We should hang out later."

"I'm uh...not really in the mood for a party."

"I doesn't have to be a party. We could just order a pizza and chill."

"I don't know man..." I say. It would be good to get my mind off of Ryland, but I'm also afraid I'll end up breaking down the second I have time to think about him.

"C'mon," Rocky says, "It's been forever!" He starts pleading and saying please over and over again, so I give in. 

"Alright, alright! Just stop that awful pleading," I say and Rocky lets out a whoop. I laugh and we head out to the court. I try to zero in on the ball, but Ryland is always skirting in the corners of my mind.