MY FULL TIME DADDY

22

"Oh no, put that bottle back." Yoongi was clear enough for Jungkook to do as he was told, his insides still burning with the need to drink some hard liquor. He knew his hyung had a lot of those but he wasn't going to insist because he felt exhausted and a fight with his best friends was the last thing he needed. "You look like shit."

Jungkook rubbed his face with both hands and followed the mint-haired artist with his eyes as he searched for a wine bottle in the bar and asked for Hoseok to bring three tall glasses he later filled with dark red liquid. He wasn't cruel – he knew the youngster needed something that could later lull him to sleep but he didn't want him to pass out because they had things to talk about. He wasn't sure if Jungkook understood what he's just been through and he felt like it was his mission to enlighten him and help him figure out what he wanted to do next. They tasted the drink before Yoongi placed his glass aside and leaned forward while intertwining his fingers on top of his knees.

"Are you going back to the hospital tomorrow?"

The silence that followed meant hesitation but Jungkook's expression was one of a tormented man. He desperately wanted to go back, he wanted things to go back to how they were before, he wanted to hold Jimin in his arms and to whisper to him that everything was going to be alright but he was rational enough to understand that might not be what the best for him was. Truth to be told, he had no idea what the best meant anymore.

"You saved his life."

"But maybe that's not what he wanted. He told me it's been an accident but –" Going back to Jimin meant he could face this type of situation again and the thought of his lover dying in his arms was going to haunt him for the rest of his life. "I can't help him, Yoongi. I've done my best and it's not enough."

"You're looking at things the wrong way, kid." Hoseok was quiet next to his boyfriend, knowing it might not be his place to intervene but his fingers were dug into the warm orange pullover he was wearing. "Jimin doesn't need you to save him, he needs to save himself." Jungkook's doe eyes widened at the words but his lips didn't part, not wanting to interrupt his hyung. "You're not his saviour, you're his boyfriend so all you have to do is to love him when he doesn't."

"Sometimes it feels like he doesn't want to let me do that." Otherwise he wouldn't have been hiding all those things from him.

"He's obviously in a bad place, Jungkook." Hoseok added quietly. "I've seen his arms for the first time and I can't get the picture out of my head."

"A failed suicide attempt is a life-changing experience, Gguk. Jimin's probably more scared than you are." The brown-haired man snorted; it was easy for them to say that because they haven't been there when he was tearing a door down so he could get access to his unconscious boyfriend. "I've been where he is now and that shit's tough."

Jungkook has never heard the story of how Yoongi attempted suicide during his late teenage years so he couldn't believe his ears when the elder explained to him how it happened. He has been lucky enough to take an excessive amount of pills and that caused for him to throw everything up until the ambulance that has been called by his mother arrived. He could remember the horrible aftermath, how guilty he was feeling, how he imagined everyone would give up on him. Most of them did but the people who mattered stayed and tried to support him through thick and thin. That attempt changed the perspective he had over life and over the things that mattered and it was the reason why he fought so hard for his happiness in the present.

Yoongi was alright – he was alive and breathing, he was productive and even gave up on hardcore BDSM which has been his coping mechanism for many years because he found serenity in Hoseok. If he has managed to pull through all of that, it meant Jimin could too.