lights out, jake sim.

21.

The look of hurt in her eyes still haunted him thus far. How he had berated her and made her believe that she wasn't worthy of being loved by him. All because of a stupid bet. Why couldn't he find the courage to confess to her that he had been captived by her from the very beginning, that his love for her had blossomed in the depths of his heart?

Even today, when she had cursed his already guilt-ridden heart to burn in the fire of remorse and for his soul to be buried under the weight of his actions, he realized the gravity of his mistakes. The moment she kissed Heeseung, a sinking feeling engulfed him and he knew something had gone utterly wrong as he failed to see the consequences of his actions, the pain he had inflicted upon her and the damage he had done to their relationship.

Although he got closer to her under the pretence of a thoughtless bet, never expecting that his heart would become so deeply entangled with hers. But as time went on, his feelings for her grew stronger and more genuine. He failed to realize that what had started as a mere momentary fascination had transformed into something profound and meaningful. It was something his heart had longed for since the day they had crossed paths. He, however, never expected things to escalate this far.

Love is a complex and powerful force, and he had underestimated its impact. He let his past cloud his judgement and hurt the person he cared about most.

Being in love often makes one feel like a puppet bound to the capricious strings of fate. It has a way of turning hopeless romantics into fools when they are least expecting it. And today, Jake experienced it first-hand when he witnessed Lily kiss Heeseung before him.

The sight struck him like a thunderbolt, shattering the illusion of stability he had held onto. In that moment, he had felt like a hapless marionette, controlled by the whims of an unseen force of envy. The emotions that had surged within him were a tangled web of surprise, confusion and an unsettling ache. Entangled in the fervent emotions, he had unknowingly hurt her again.

It was a stark reminder that love, with all its beauty and joys, could also wield its power to wound and deceive.

...

Love is the strangest sensation that enslaves your conscience and seizes your heart. It builds up walls around the heart once a kindred spirit finds its way in. Even if the being aboding within the walls, tries to claw its way out of it, the indelible marks left by the former dweller haunt them forever. The shared memories of their quivering love and broken dreams are imprinted on the minds with their eternal presence, foreboding a possibility of recurrent apprehension.

As Lily walked along the seaside aisle, the gentle waves caressed her feet, leaving foamy traces of her weakened gait. The salty breeze danced through her hair, carrying whispers of her distant memories. The rhythmic sound of crashing waves and the soothing melody of the ocean serenaded a harmonious symphony of reminiscence and tranquillity with the timeless soul's lament.

The sea reminded her of him. His love was picturesque, a sight that stole her breath and enchanted her soul, a vista of awe-inspiring grandeur, where every moment spent in his presence was a timeless treasure. Its serenity was, however, juxtaposed with its unsettling and ominous reality that she had ignored before. What appeared as an enticing abyss, in truth, was nothing more than a deceptive void, pulling her in with its apocryphal allure. 

But no matter how deep she was in the waters, she couldn't stop loving him. 

Her heart admitted. She was still in love with him. Although their love lasted like the summer rain, a fleeting affair that arrives with a whispered invitation and departs in haste. In its brevity, it gives a harmonious balance between enchantment and exhilaration. Followed by its revitalization, are the scorching days, intensifying the longing for the intoxicating bliss it offers. She was going through one of the scorching days when her impulsiveness had taken control of her, alluring her to commit a gaffe. She had kissed Heeseung in a fickle attempt to prove that she was on the precipice of embracing a new chapter.

The more she walked on the aisle with her lingering loneliness, the more she remembered the warmth of his hands holding hers. Beneath the pouring starlight in the quiet hum of the waves, they had written an eternal ode to their love's sweet name. 

With all those vivid remnants of him, she found it difficult to break herself free from his captivity.

Love, indeed, is the strangest sensation because despite being on the receiving end, be it love or pain, it's almost impossible to forsake your love for that being. Even though Jake had made a fool out of her, berated her, and slighted her in the name of love, she still couldn't wish for him to have a taste of his own medicine.  

Nevertheless, she had wished pain upon him, her heart believes otherwise. With love and pain, resides a glimmer of hope. A hope that despite the heartbreak, there exists a possibility for redemption and healing. Because deep within her heart, there is a part of her that still yearns for him.