lights out, jake sim.

23.

Taking a deep breath, she stopped to face him, her countenance wavering between reluctance and caution.

"I'll be honest with you Lily. The bet...I proposed it. I agreed to date you as a dare, thinking it was all just a game. A foolish game, I must say. I thought I was merely doing it for fun, adding to my accomplishments. It all started as a bet, Lily but I never meant to hurt you."

"Save it, Jake. I don't want your crap."  Lily retorted sharply, her voice laced with anger and disappointment as she yanked her hand out from his grasp, "You broke my trust, Jake. I loved you and yet, you went behind my back and made a mockery of our relationship. If you knew what you have done to me. You wouldn't dare to stand before me with this utter nonsense."

Jake's eyes welled up as he tried to find the right words to convey the depth of his regret. "I won't justify my past because there's nothing I can do about it. No matter what I say, I won't be able to convince you to believe otherwise. I know I messed up, Lily. I can't change what I did and I can't erase the pain I have caused you. But I need you to understand that my feelings were never part of the game. I thought I would be overwhelmed with a sense of contentment if I won. But I feel restless because, in a sense, I lost. I lost you, Lily. I merely played along with the game, thinking my fascination with you will wear off once I date you. I realized I wasn't just fascinated with you, I was in love with you."

"Love? Is that what you call it?" A bitter laugh escaped Lily's lips as her voice quivered with emotions," You played with my heart. You used me to stroke your fragile ego, to win some bet and you say you were in love with me? Love shouldn't hurt like this, Jake. Love shouldn't be built on lies and deception. Didn't it ever cross your mind about how it would affect me? About the damage, you were causing to me? After all, I was nothing more than a pawn in your game. You said so yourself. And now you want me to listen to your sob story?"

Jake's heart shattered as Lily's words cut deeper than he could have ever imagined. Her voice, filled with a mixture of rage and anguish, echoed in his ears, tormenting his soul.

Jake's shoulder slumped, the weight of his actions crashing down upon him, "I know it's hard to believe, but it's the truth," Jake continued, his voice heavy with genuine remorse, "I fell for you, Lily. I fell hard but I was too scared to admit it. I let my foolishness and pride ruin everything."

Lily scoffed, arms crossed defensively, "And you expect me to believe it? That you suddenly developed feelings for me after treating me like a pawn?"

"No, Lily, I don't expect you to believe me easily," Jake admitted, his voice tinged with sadness, "But it's the truth. I was blind and foolish, thinking I could play with people's emotions without worrying about the consequences. What I failed to realize was that I was standing in the fire's caress and naively assumed that I could traverse it, untouched by its fierce wrath. You were right about me, Lily. I am, and forever will be, burning in the flames of my past."

Lily remained silent, her gaze fixed on the ground as tears welled up in her eyes.

"I wish I could turn back time, Lily. I wish I could take back everything and make it right. I am sorry, Lily. I never meant to hurt you." Jake whispered, his voice filled with regret.