Handle With Care - Book 4 in "What is Life" series

Chapter 17

I felt so many emotions at once. I was angry first and then I felt grateful that I now knew the truth... that she decided to let me in on this secret after all these years

However, first and foremost I was angry. I was robbed of the chance to know my own son all of these years.

While I helped Lauren raise Ethan who doesn't have his birth father anymore, Dhani was being raised without his own.

I was here all along and would have sent her money and been there for him in any way.

I immediately pulled a Lauren and just walked away.

I went straight to my meditation room we have at this home here and sat down on the mat. I needed some deep reflection.

I closed the door behind me. Both Lauren and Olivia knew not to disturb me while I meditated.

I thought deeply about how I wanted to react to this news. I couldn't shake the anger. She told me about her son yesterday and she should have told me right then.

I had to try and understand how she was afraid. I was the one who ended our engagement and left her to raise the child alone. Which then in turn made Glyn go off the deep end. It was the biggest mistake Lauren and I could have made.

Then I thought of my children. Ollie, Darry and Annie who don't even know their own brother.

I took deep breaths and chanted softly until I was in a deep trance. In this state of mind I was just there and no longer thinking. I didn't even know how much time had passed.

When I came back to I walked from the room and then out into the living room.

Annie was playing with Dhani and Ethan.

Olivia was sitting with Tom, Lauren and Darry.

"Where did your mom go?" I asked looking around.

Olivia stood up, unsure of what to say.

"She went back to check on the house," Olivia then said.

"How are you, Dad?" Darry then asked. He always has been mature and cares about everyone's feelings.

"I need to talk to your mom, Olivia and Tom," I said to him and then motioned to his siblings.... all three of them across the room, wondering if he knew or not.

"I'll take them to my room," he said and then took off.

Once the four of us were alone I looked at Tom.

"I am with Lauren when I say, I am so glad you are here," I said to him, "you are the voice of reason and I need you just as much as she does."

"Anytime, man," he nodded.

I couldn't ever be mad at this guy for any reason. He has always been someone I could count on and even with him and Lauren bonded so close, I could never dislike him.

"I have been chatting with them while you were gone," Olivia then said, "I don't know how to make any of this right."

I let my anger subside once more instead of letting it grow inside me.

"I am just a little heartbroken," I admitted to all three of them, "that you would keep my son from me."

"All of our lives were so complicated," she said, "Glyn had passed away and Lauren needed you."

"It doesn't matter what Lauren needed," I said to her.

Lauren sat there in silence. She was going through a lot right now just like I was. Tom could sense he needed to lighten the mood.

"Luckily I consider Ethan to be like a son to me or I would be really getting baby fever right now," he squeezed Lauren's shoulders.

She pretended to hit him and laughed, "no babies are coming out of me ever again."

Olivia smiled at the way they were together.

In that moment I knew I wanted to try and be a family with Olivia and Dhani. Lauren has Tom and her and I would be lying to eachother if we even think our marriage could ever work again after all of this.

I just didn't want to lose Dhani again. I have barely even had the chance to meet him. But I also didn't want to force Olivia into anything. I know what we had yesterday was special. I just need to get past the lies and deception.

....

After some alone time and talking through everything that has happened the last 5 years, Olivia and I decided she would come to England for a while with Dhani so he could get to know me.

Almost simultaneously Lauren decided she was going to stay here with Tom until he left for his tour.

That's when I realized I couldn't have the best of both worlds. Choices needed to be made. I lose Lauren for good when I choose Olivia and that's what was going to have to happen. I needed this change in my life.

And Lauren did too.

I spent all the time I could with Dhani from that moment on and Lauren played with him and Ethan a little. Then Olivia packed his things and took him on a plane with the kids and I back home while Lauren stayed with her own new little family.

When we got there I had to figure out how to explain everything to the kids.

Olivia and I sat them down and were very transparent.

"We don't care what decisions you make," Darry said in response, "you know we love you Olivia, we always have. And we love mom but you guys have to do what you need to be happy."

"Is Dhani really our brother?" Annie seemed very excited.

It was way too easy.

The only one left to explain all of this to was Ollie who would be home in 3 weeks.

The last we saw him, Lauren and I were going to stay together and make things work....oh how the tables have turned.