Take It Back - Bucky Barnes x OC

Chapter Twenty-Two

Two years later.

"We've been doing so well for five years that I found it strange that nothing has broken us yet."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know. Maybe I'm paranoid, maybe I'm just expecting something to blow up in our face. Like I feel like sometimes it's hard for you to see how much I really do love you."

Ashlyn's heartfelt response made Bucky sigh.

"We're in our new home, Ash. We're literally on top of the world, and I'm on it with you. Of course, I see it."

"Yeah?"

He smiled softly.

"Yes. We've worked on our issues and we're doing so well."

Silence.  Two hands were on the back on his neck, dark eyes looking into his.

"Have you ever made love, Bucky?"

The question caught him off guard and Bucky's heart was suddenly in his throat.

"Five years and I've to think I've never made love to you. It's always just been sex. I've always wanted to, though."

"Ashlyn..."

"Baby, let me show you how much I love you."

He wanted to rip her hands off his neck, but instead, he reached around and held them tighter against his skin.

And for the first time in a while, he thought of you. He finally admitted to himself that he still wanted you.

After much denial, he caved and thought of her as he fucked his wife.

Bucky couldn't take it.

His heart kept shattering over and over again as he grabbed her small neck in his hands, the neck of someone that was supposed to be his wife.

He felt hot tears behind his eye lids as he sobbed into her neck, as he attempted to make love to her, knowing he was doing so miserably. Because it wasn't love,  what he felt for Ashlyn was no longer love.

Just respect.

He grabbed her hair in his hands and whimpered as he tried to allow himself to feel.

He had put up a wall around his heart for so long, trying to be this horrible person he really wasn't; all of it just to forget her.

He was supposed to love his wife by now, he had hoped to especially because of how well she had been treating him lately. She was truly trying to become better and she had.

They finally had a great life together, they had it all, but he still loved her.

And he hated her for it.

"Bucky, baby gonna cum." Ashlyn had cried, tightening her legs around him.

He came into her with a shout.

He should've known everything had changed, that he had finally admitted to himself that he was not over Rylie and that he needed to talk to Ashlyn about it. He knew this the moment he felt the disgust run up his spine at what he had just done- what he kept doing.

He wasn't a faithful man.

He was prepared to finally look the barrel of the gun down the eye, but what he wasn't prepared for was for Ashlyn to hand him a little gift bag five weeks later with a bib inside along with a positive pregnancy test.

Daddy's little baby.

The bib had read.

Bucky was shocked. He had thought Ashlyn had been on birth control - he was not ready to be a father. And most importantly, he didn't want to have a child with her.