Chapter 13 - Venting and Doubt

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Okay, maybe that was a little bit too much food, I feel like my stomach could burst every second. Regardless of the pain I started making my way to my cabin to relax and sort out the events of the last few days, alongside my feelings. As I walked through the halls that made up the laboratory located in High Camp, I couldn't help but feel a sense of unease. My altercation with Jake earlier still weighed heavily on my mind, even though I didn't want to admit that, but the thought of facing him again filled me with dread. I needed to clear my head before I could face him again.

Finally, I arrived at my cabin and shut the door behind me. I collapsed onto my bed, feeling exhausted both physically and mentally. I needed to talk to someone about everything that had happened, but I didn't know who to turn to. Kiri was always there for me, but I didn't want to burden her any more than I already had. She had her own life to live and couldn't be around to babysit me all the time. She was beautiful and strong, with a strange connection to Eywa that I admired. But she was also off-limits. My human body was not that of a Na'vi, she was my stepsister, and any relationship between us would be forbidden and shamed. Wait... why was I thinking about this?

My left hand traveled across the gap between the bed and nightstand, hoping to find my communication device and check for anything I had missed. It was a habit I unintentionally built up over the years, even though I never quite had someone wanting something from me in particular. To my surprise was I bombarded with what felt like thousands of missed calls from a certain other female.

"What the fuck, Louise?" I spurted out into the empty room, before calling out her name through the transmitter. I waited for what felt like a minute before repeating myself.

"Louise? Are you there?" Another wait, which again didn't seem to bear fruit. I nearly gave up but took a deep breath before going for the third try. Even before I wasn't able to spit out a single sound as something interrupted me.

"Oh my god, Firin!" I physically jumped at the loud, sudden voice yelling its concern into my ear. "It's been like two days! Are you okay? What happened? I hope nothing bad happened because you ignored me the whole time! I am your girlfriend I deserve to know what is going on!" How could a person go from concerned to angry in five seconds? I was overwhelmed by her parade of unending questions, to say the least.

"Umm..." She immediately stopped talking, awaiting my statement like a party in court waiting for the judge's final decision on a long and fought-for case. The long case for her was being 'ignored'. "I am fine. I think that was your first question." She cleared her throat as if to rewind her whole breakout to start back from where she started, point one.

"That is good to hear, but what happened? I was worried sick!" She sounded exasperated and concerned. I nervously replied, shifting my position to sit up straight with my legs crossed.

"Yeah, sorry about that, really, but I was, umm, distracted." I nervously gulped.

"Is that a nice way of saying you were sleeping with someone else?" Her voice seethed with suppressed rage. My sentence did sound like that, however, that was not the case at all, hence my reaction.

"Goodness no!" Thoughts flooded into my head from that rainy night, sobering me to the point of no emotions. I cleared my throat in preparation for what I had to say next. "Listen, umm, can you promise not to laugh at me or anything? This is serious." A tense silence followed as she waited for me to explain further.

"Yeah, of course. What's going on?" Was her way of urging the conversation away from the aforementioned silence.

"You remember Spider, right?" I asked as she hummed in response.

"You talked about him before here or there... Why would you bring him up now?" I again gave myself time to think of how I would be able to put the next words into a working sentence.

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