Tore

prelude | the breakdown

Leigh

I am tired.

Only three words in that sentence, but it holds so much weight that it can move mountains.

I've been working my ass off since my maternity leave ended.

My baby boy, Noa. He's my pride and joy but having a six month old baby, who's father broke his heart and mine.

Grant, found that fatherhood was harder than he expected and one of had to go. He's still very active in Noa's life but they have no connection.

I've been trying to get out of this situation for years.

We met at NYU, he was everything I wanted and needed.

He was just the complete opposite of who I would ever expected myself to be with.

Grant Blackwell. He was a Gullah-Geechee boy from North Carolina, he was different.

In my mind, most people from the low country were ignorant.

They are sweet and charmingly manipulative.

He was an Electrical and Computer Engineering major and a 2nd year student when I first started.
I was a Computer Science major, from Harlem, where my life was very difficult.

But I survived.

Grant and I would studied together due to my own struggles with Data Analytics and we clicked instantly.

He played basketball for the NYU Violets, crossed 1906, and he loved black cinema.

At first, it was an innocent matter, then one day he looked at me, and my clothes fell off—

They were falling off for the next 7 years.

We both graduated, moved out of our college town after staying three extra years, and moved to Ithaca because Grant had gotten a job offer in the middle of nowhere and we were engaged at this point and I felt obligated to go with him.

I hadn't known that I was pregnant at the time.

Grant had me stuck in this project, in upstate New York, working as a waitress at Mix.

I had my degree. I didn't need this.

I gave birth to Noa and we were seemingly happy up until now.. 6 months later.
..
Grant

"Leigh! You here?"

"Yea G, feeding Noa."

I rolled my eyes,

"Aite, I got some black eyed peas and some okra."

"Grant, that's gonna be so good! I miss your cooking."

"I'll make y'all some dinner, but then Shaun and Desiree will be waiting for me. So I gotta go."

"Are you deadass right now Grant? You can take care of her child but not us?"

"I'm feeding y'all ain't I?"

"That's not the point Grant. You bought her a home, a fucking white picket fence, a golden retriever, planted your seed, and left us high and dry! Is that what you do?"

"High and dry? High and dry? I feed you. I clothe you and this baby. I pay yo' rent."

"To live in the trenches. You got this broad a whole ass mini mansion."

"I don't want to be with you Leigh. You represent my struggle. Having Noa really was a blessing and a curse in my life. But with Shaun and Desiree, there's clarity."

"The babies are the same age Grant, what the fuck kind of clarity is that? What's she got that I don't? What's her child have that your first child doesn't?"

"They are three weeks apart. We were damn near done and you know it. We were fighting every single day. Shaun brings me happiness, she's successful, and she keeps herself up."

Leigh laughed bitterly,

"I got a job offer in LA."

"But we both know you're not going."

"I am."

"You're not taking Noa."

"I am."

"Over my dead body."

"You don't even know him G. You didn't even want him. And I can't trust that you won't treat him any differently."
..