Fuck It I Love You

15

Jane

I'm shaking.

He walks behind me, but I can feel his gaze on my back. I breathe to myself reassuringly, trying my hardest to calm my nerves.

What the fuck just happened?

I'm whipped out of my thoughts when a message appears on my phone screen.

Staying in Izzy's room tonight. That, ok?

I stop short when I read those seven words, causing Joseph to crash into me.

"Sorry." I mumble, but it falls to death ears, and he walks past me without another word. I open mine and Ava's messages again, typing fast.

That's fine. Have fun, okay? 😊

I hit send and run my fasted to catch up to Joseph.

"Hey." I say, coming to walk by his side, but he just grinds his teeth together and ignores me for the rest of the way.

***

This whole day has been the definition of hell itself. I met Ava back at the coach, but I didn't bring up the events that had just occurred between Joseph and I, I didn't want to ruin her time with Izzy. She explained that the girl Izzy is sharing a room with is going to her boyfriend's room, so she invited Ava to come keep her company. We all stayed out for a while, grabbing dinner at a small café before heading back to the hotel at around seven thirty. And when we reach our room, I fling myself on the bed, but Ava unexpectedly slams the door and storms over to me.

"Right, what the hell has happened? You usually throw a fit after spending five milliseconds with Mr Turner. What. Has. Happened." She crosses her arms over her chest and raises an eyebrow expectedly, but I am too shocked to respond. She rolls her eyes and sits herself next to me. "Jane! Come on."

"There's nothing to say. He was being his usual grumpy self." I finally manage to say, but Ava doesn't believe me.

"Cut the bullshit. I noticed you two have been avoiding each other-" I raise an eyebrow, but she carries on. "And not because you hate each other. Something happened. Spill." She claps her hand at the last word, and I groan, planting my face in my pillow.

"There's nothing to say-"

"Jane." She says with warning, and I snap.

"Fine, something happened. We didn't do anything- or kiss- just- something happened, and I can't explain it okay? I'm still trying to figure it out myself." I look at her, and her jaw is literally on the floor, and she smirks.

"Jane..." she says in mock exasperation, and I hit her with my pillow playfully. She lays herself next to me, holding my hand. "Was it like- sexual tension?" she asks after a while and I close my eyes in defeat, shaking my head, and I hear her laugh. "I knew it." She says, still laughing, and I turn to face her with a confused look on my face.

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

"Oh, come on Jane, it's obvious he has the hots for you." She states, rolling her eyes. Panic flares through my chest, but she holds a hand up to stop me from speaking. "It's obvious to me. Just be careful, I'm serious."

"Well, I don't have to be careful. I'm avoiding him for the rest of the year." Ava stands up and walks to her be and scoffs.

"Yeah, sure. I've got to go now. I'll see you tomorrow." She rushes out the room and leaves me to suffer in silence.