32. Party Time

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-Nic-

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-Nic-


"It's a beautiful morning!" I sang on Wednesday as I threw the curtains open right as an angry, flashy lightning illuminated the outside world with its blinding light.

Jax laughed in the bed, trying to curl back under the covers.

"You're in a–"

I couldn't hear the rest behind the angry rumble.

I chuckled lightly and sat back down next to him, still staring outside. "I'm suddenly a big fan of thunderstorms."

"Why?" Jax asked sleepily, touching my back.

"Because it'll ruin Dad's little party," I said, grinning. "Even if it stops now, the garden is flooded, so he has to keep the party indoors. And I doubt everyone will show up."

"Ohh, true, true..." he mumbled, his teasing touch climbing up toward my shoulder. "he's going to be so pissed..."

"Oh trust me, he already is. His entire day is now ruined," I said, while he took a hold of my shoulder and pulled me to lie down on my back, partly on top of him.

I laughed lightly while he wrapped me in his arms and kissed my cheek. It was way too early to get out of bed, so I relaxed and closed my eyes, enjoying his warm fingers caressing me, and his smooth lips teasing my neck. I honestly felt good, even though the party was that night. Maybe because it would finally be over. And the weather was just perfect. And Jax was there, holding me... Showering me with his attention...

I really loved starting my day like this...

But there it was. The guilt. The ice in my heart and lungs, trying to suffocate me. Nothing I did could get rid of it. It was only growing worse, eating away at my sanity.

Would I lose this if I told him...?

I couldn't lose this. There was no way... I couldn't go back to living without Jax. I couldn't go back now that he'd shown me the life I could have with him. I couldn't lose him.

But if I didn't tell him, that icy grip on me would never fade.

"You all right?" Jax murmured in my ear, his voice worried and soft.

"Yeah..." I breathed out.

He waited for me to continue, but I couldn't, so he hugged me tighter.

"It'll be over soon," he whispered. "Tomorrow it's finally over."

If only he knew it was the future of our relationship in my mind, not my father's stupid party.


*****


I couldn't remember much about the day at school. I spent every class staring out the window. The thunderstorm had passed after a few hours, but it still was raining heavily. My good mood never returned, but it had nothing to do with my father. This weather was fitting.

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