Act of love

Chapter Fourteen

Zachary:
A feeling of sorrow boils up in me, she is in so much pain tears popped up in her eyes. Luckily she will be fine, but the most painful was, I couldn't do much since I don't have the necessary equipment just lying around.
With the wet diary under my arm, I grab some wet clothes out of the washing machine, to put them in the dryer after. The best idea seems to be to just put it on the heater, so I do. When I lay it down, the bottom part flips open, revealing black ink with a date on top of the paper. Tuesday 2 February 2016. Five years ago, this book is at least five years old.
"Dear God, it's me again, after a horrible day I just need to write down what happened. Because honestly I'm not sure I can do this anymore."
Instantly I realize how private this is. But I can't help but read more.
"It already started this morning..." I shake my head. No it's her diary, she didn't say I could read it. The curious thoughts keep running through my mind.
After a while of deep thinking I decide to take the book and read a bit. Not a lot, just one or maybe two pages, three at the most.
The lonely chair in the corner seems most comfortable to sit on, so I let myself fall back into the chair. Which is lower then I expected it to be.

Tuesday 2 February 2016
Dear God,
it's me again, after a horrible day I just need to write down what happened. Because honestly, I'm not sure I can do this anymore. It already started this morning when I was simply brushing my teeth. The voice of my dad pierced right through all of my bones. He is yelling at my mom, as he always does. Like my dad doesn't have a normal voice anymore, it's all yelling. When I was nine years old that's what I thought. My dad had a condition that affected his speech. Now I know the truth, that he is just a bitter asshole.
I went to school like any other day, trying to make the best out of my day. Even though I have no friends, I am behind on every single class and I am probably going to get bullied so much, that I will eat my lunch in the bathrooms. Again. It has become a routine.
Once I'm back home around 5:00 pm I can already hear my dad on the other side of the neighborhood. Sometimes my dad loses his voice because he screams so much, when this happens he goes away for a bit. Mom doesn't even know where he goes, but those days are the most peaceful in my whole life.
"Anfisa! Get in here!" He screams as soon as I enter the house. I tried being as quiet as possible, which didn't seem to help one bit.
While shoveling my feet over the ground with my head facing them I walk into the living room. Due to the shadow I can see how close my dad is to me. My heart is pounding in my throat, any moment it feels like I'm going to throw it up.
"Where the fuck have you been?" Great he is drunk, he doesn't even remember where I went.
The strong smell of alcohol hits my nose when I lift up my head a bit.
"I was at school dad." Irritated he rolls his eyes.
"Do you expect me to believe that?" My eyes scan around the room looking for my mom, hoping she will help me. But she is probably more scared then I am.
She lays passed out in the corner of the room, tears burn in my eyes. I try to fight them, just so I don't seem weak in front of my dad.
"Get out of my house."
"Dad I'm your daughter I live here." I say in a begging tone. The realization that this is never going to work hasn't kicked in yet.
"I said, get the fuck out of my house Amory." Amory... My sisters name, great. He's so drunk he can't even tell his daughters apart. Amory moved out three months back, since then he has been calling me Amory a lot.
I pick up my school bag off the floor and return to the door I just walked in through. No longer I hold back tears once I am fully on my own. It is getting dark and I have nowhere to stay. This sure isn't the first time but it is the first time this happened during winter times.
As long as the library is open I can stay there, that is at least another two hours.
Before entering the almost empty library I pick up a simple coffee from the money I found on the floor of the bathroom today.
A young adult, outside the coffee shop, catches my eye. As he looks at me he stops walking, running his hand through his black pin-straight hair. It's short on the sides and a bit longer on the top. His hazel eyes scan all the way over my body. The corners of his mouth curl up slightly, and wrinkles form around his eyes. Usually, I would find wrinkles like those weird, but not with this person. The first thing that appears to me as I look at him is the odd choice of clothing. I wouldn't call it an ugly clothing style, just not something I have ever seen before. No one would dare to wear something so bold like this. Light brown cargo pants which hide his shoes, barely visible because of the long wide black coat covering eighty percent of his body.
A warm feeling spreads evenly around my body. For just a moment I get to forget every thought that runs through my mind. Every single thought. Seconds feel like full hours as I gaze away to him.
"Ma'am your coffee." The strong eye contact breaks as I turn around to get my coffee.
"Thank you, have a nice evening." The nice lady behind the counter smiles at me without saying another word. Also a smile with wrinkles, this time it feels a lot of weirder. The wrinkles aren't the same as those of the guy that just passed. The guy that just passed...
Suddenly I'm tempted to find out his name, not just his name, every single interest he has, his family, his pets. I catch myself on having deep thoughts on a total stranger and shake my head.
After leaving the coffee shop I enter the library that sits right next to it. The sign is lit up beautifully with yellowish lights. Not the ugly yellow lights. Out of my school backpack I grab one of the two books, as I sit down behind the large windows.
Reading books makes me forget the things that are happening to me. Before diving in the book the little bell that sits neatly on top of the door rings. A sign someone has come in. Usually I don't look up but the way this person is dressed catches my attention.
The light brown pants, the coat, it's him. The same smile I had a few minutes ago returns. Again the edges of his mouth curl up, making these cute wrinkles again. He looks young and old at the same time, his small beard makes him appear a bit older but the eyes and cheeks show that he is definitely not older than twenty.
With large steps, he comes closer to my direction. God... This is really happening, is my first thought. My hands are shaking, making me grip the book I'm holding a lot tighter.
"Hey." His voice makes my jaw drop, it's the voice of a literal angel. I have never heard a voice prettier than this, not even on tv. It's a dark undertone but something in it makes it sound sweet. Could be the combination of his appearance and voice.
"H-hey." I say with a raspy tone when I realize I forgot to answer his question. I clear my throat and try again. "Hey."
"What are you reading?" His almond-shaped eyes with the literal color of almond move to the book in my hands. Automatically I shake more and more, feeling his eyes pierce right through my hands. "Studying?" Questions pop up when he asks this question. When I look down as well I'm seeing that I'm holding one of my school books instead of an actual book. This guy is messing with my mind, I can't even think straight. With a lump in my throat I nod.
The attractive smile on his face turns into a smirk when he takes off his long coat. Underneath is a white turtle neck shirt, his chest is visible right through the shirt. I try to keep my eyes up to his face, but with this view, it's almost impossible to do so.
"I live around here, I've never seen you before though." I shrug, he's right, I usually don't go here at night. Only in the hard mornings when I don't feel like going to school. It's not like my parents will notice me not being in school. All they do is fight, that's why they exist.
"I guess you didn't look good enough." Immediately after those words come out of my mouth I hit my hand in front of my mouth. "I did not mean it like that." A smirk forms on his mouth.
"It's okay, I like a woman who is a little feisty." My eyes close for a moment, trying to process the words he just said to me.
"What's your name?" He asks after a while, for some reason I don't feel talkative in this moment. Normally I would love for someone to talk to me.
"Anfisa Diamond."
"Diamond." He mutters under his breath, I hear more breath than an actual voice. I want to ask for his name too, but when I open my mouth to speak, no sound comes out of my mouth.
"I have met a Diamond before, do you have a sister?" He interrupts, his comment makes my eyes grow wide.
"I do." He seems to think deeply about a name. It sits on the tip of his tongue but he can't bring it up.
"Amory?" I help him a bit. He shakes his head. Not Amory...
Probably one of my cousins. I don't have good contact with my cousins. He waves his comment away with his hand.
"It's not important, why are you here Anfisa? Shouldn't you have dinner with your family at this time?"
I check my watch for the time. 5:34 pm. Dinner time. The comment about my family makes me think about them. Do they think about me too?
I sigh softly to myself and sip a bit of my coffee. It tastes more bitter then usually, probably because of the salty tears I accidentally consumed for dinner.
"We don't have to talk about that." The unknown handsome guy says when he sees the painful look on my face.
"It's okay, I have an argument with my dad, he didn't recognize me and now I have nowhere to go." His face seems to be full of sympathy and pity. At the same time, it's the same cold look he had when he walked in. He is very hard to read. Another silence falls, this silence is long but not awkward, it's peaceful. Never in my life have I felt so safe and peaceful. For once in sixteen years my life didn't seem so bad, a small light point in my life.
"Do you want to stay over at my place?" Normally this question would be very weird, if he would've asked this question at a bar the question would always be weird. No matter the situation. I don't answer him for a bit, but I am not actively thinking about it either. It's already really dark outside.
"Why not?" I give the guy a thankful smile, the guy whom I don't even know his name of.
"What's your name?" I finally get the courage to ask. This time the silence comes from his side.
"You'll know my name some day, princess." I give him a questionable side eye, what a weird reply I want to say. But I don't, it's up to him if he wants to tell me or not,
I take the last sip of my coffee and throw the cup away in the trash can close to the exit door.
When he leads me to his car I notice how tall he actually is. I would guess around 188cm. I almost have to look up at him to see his eyes, the beautiful almond-colored shaped eyes.
"You coming?" He asks a little impatient, not impatient in the rude way.
His apartment is not far from the library, I don't get why he didn't just walk but everyone has it's reasons. The entire way from entering the building, to the lift and the walk to his apartment he stays quiet. Sometimes he gives me a side glance, hoping I don't see it. But I do it, his jaw is tight.
I would expect his apartment to be a mess, a young adult living alone, not having a mother to take care of anything. But the apartment is so clean it almost seemed like no one lived in this. If it wasn't because of the crinkled bed sheets I would actually think he doesn't live here. It's small but spacious enough to live in. The walls are plain white with not a single painting, not a single family picture. Unlike my house, everywhere 'proud' pictures of our 'perfect' little family, if people come over they get the best impression. But they don't know what happens behind the curtains. He studies me as I look around his apartment.
"You like it?" He suggests with a large smile on his face.
"It's alright." I don't mean to sound so degrading as I do, I just don't know how to act in someone's house. I've never been in a house other then mine or a families, since I never had any true friends. I do know decoration is normal to any person.
"No decoration?" He chuckles, as if he was expecting this question.
"It's like a hospital in here."
"Maybe that was the goal, I am in med school." I stare at him in shock for a beat. Med school, I repeat in my mind. Fricking med school. This guy is smart.
"How old are you?" The sudden question wipes the proud smile off his face. He was probably hoping me to be visibly impressed by him being in med school. I am impressed, I just don't want to give his ego a boost.
"Nineteen, you?"
"Sixteen."
I let myself fall back on the hard couch, almost like no one has ever sat on this couch again. The guy which I still don't know his name of walks away to the kitchen. As far as you can call it a kitchen, everything is in one room. Kitchen, living room, bedroom, only the bathroom is a separate room. He probably spent all his money on med school, that he has no money for a normal apartment. He's even lucky to find a apartment in Los Angeles at all.
"Are you hungry Anfisa?" The way he says my name creates a lump in my throat. Because of that I don't feel as hungry as I did before.
Moments later he returns to the room with two cups in his hands. Two white rings, everything is white.
"Is white your favorite color?" I ask trying to get him to know a bit better.
"I like red more." I pull myself a bit straighter on the couch and take one of the cups. Inside is coffee, black coffee, black unlike his apartment.
"Me too, maroon is the most beautiful color." It's stupid how enthusiastically I sound over a color.
"What's something else you're passionate about?"
I guess we are skipping the small talk. A long silence falls as I don't answer his question. I don't even bother looking at him.
"Italy." As a kid my mom showed me a picture of Italy, since then I became so obsessed with it. "I went there once, for seven days, those seven days were the most amazing days of my life. The days where it felt like I just have a normal life." Before it, I'm rattling my entire life story to him. I feel pathetic. "Sorry, I can talk a lot."
"I'm listening. Would you like to live in Italy in the future?"
I shrug, bringing up my shoulders to my ear. "I honestly don't know, I have never thought about future plans."
"Seven days to Italy." He mumbles out of nowhere, leaving me nowhere but confused. "Do you speak Italian?" He asks, very interested. No one has ever been this interested in me...

"Seven days to Italy." I mutter under my breath. I never knew this stayed with her this much. I remember this day like it was yesterday, it's special. Never have I told her my name. Does she realize it's me? I think back to how I looked five years ago, that is much different then to how I look now.
"Zach?" The door opens slightly and Anfisa is standing in the door opening. It takes me a moment to adjust back to reality.
"Are you..." A painful silence falls, I got caught. "Are you reading my diary?"
"Seven days in Italy." I mutter again, ignoring the question she just asked me. The answer is obvious.
"That is private Zach, you can't just read that." She really doesn't realize it's me. "Seven days in Italy." I repeat once more on an even louder voice, without raising it.
"Yes, that's a memory of a few years ago, what about it?" By her saying this I'm fully sure she doesn't realize the person from the diary is me.
The strong eye contact doesn't break for several minutes.
"I'm sorry." I say, not that I mean it. I just thought it would make her feel better.