Act of love

Chapter Seventeen

Anfisa:
If cops saw me drive this fast I'm sure they would get me thrown in jail. Surely over a hundred miles an hour.
I park the car like a complete idiot, taking up almost three parking spots, not even bothering paying the parking ticket.
"Come on Zach."
My arm is firmly wrapped around his waist, while his arm is around my neck. Leaning on me with his full weight. Zachary got weaker and weaker in the car ride. He is so stubborn meaning he didn't even say "thank you" for taking him to the hospital.
"No no, come on Zach a couple more feet." More weight leans on me, he's about to faint. "Help!" I scream at the top of my lungs. "Please someone help!" The place looks completely outnumbered. Like no one has ever been here.
"What's going on?" A tall young woman in a white uniform runs our way. This has to be his guardian angel, she will be the one to save him. "Doctor Wixx?" Great they know each other.
"You have to help him please!"
She signs over to a couple of people behind the large hospital windows. Immediately they come to run outside.
"What even happened?" She asks on the way to one of the emergency rooms.
I open my mouth to speak but no words come out. Completely speechless. I can't believe I did this, this was my doing. Where is the sweet little girl who would never lay a finger on another human being?
Long gone.
"Male, 24, name Zachary Wixx, glass cuts on his face, lost a lot of blood on the verge of fainting." The doctor tells other doctors, exactly how it went with Dalton. Her voice sounds stressed. Like she's actually concerned about him. But that's her job.
"Doctor Wixx, let me handle this, you're not allowed to treat family members." Another female doctor in a white jacket tells her.
Family. She is his family.
As he lays on one of the emergency room beds, his eyes slowly close.
"Stay with us sir!"
The nurses shake his body, the body that was once pressed against me. Hugging me tight. The body that is lying on the bed without a single movement.
A few minutes later, which feel like hours his eyes open.
"Zach..."
"Ma'am please step out of the room, so we can help him." With my eyes focused on him in a trans one of the nurses pushes me out of the room. As the door closes in front of my eyes, the trans breaks.
Realization hits.
The next seconds I'm waiting right outside of the room, my body tense with all the nervous thoughts. What would I do if he didn't survive this? Would I ever be able to forgive myself. Then I will have lost Dalton and Zachary. Dalton, the first time I thought about him this evening. The first evening he isn't constantly on my mind. Deep down I feel bad, but I can't stay stuck on him forever.
"Ma'am my name is doctor Smith, Zachary is awake and requests to see you." With my head embarrassed facing the floor, I stand up to walk past the doctor.
"I'll come to check again in a bit."

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As I open the door the female family member is sitting right besides him. She gives me a death glare, like I just took my last breath.
"I should go... Get a coffee or something." With her eyes constantly fixated on my she steps out of the room.
"Don't give me those eyes." He sits up straight on the bed.
Multiple bandages are wrapped around his head. His skin is as pale as snow, as if he has never seen sunlight. Just as pale as this white hospital room.
"Who is that?" A long silence follows, I get that he isn't in the mood to talk with me.
"That's my twin sister."
"You never told me you had a twin sister." Zach lifts his shoulders to his ears calmly.
"You've never asked."
A trash can in the corner of the room catches my attention. It's full, way too full. Stuffed with more bandages, red bandages. This is all his blood.
"I am going to turn myself in." His eyes grow twice the normal size, although it's hard to tell what he's feeling. Anger? Betrayal? Both?
"Absolutely not!" The rasp in his voice travels through skin and bones.
"Sir Wixx, how are you feeling?" My eyes switch between the doctor and the clock on the wall. Twenty minutes passed, and it felt like two minutes.
"I'm okay, my blood pressure didn't sink too low." Of course, he is a doctor.
"You're a medical professional yourself I see. Can either of you tell me what happened here?" I can feel Zachary stare at me as I avoid all possible eye contact.
"Nothing too bad, a glass fell out of the top counter and fell on my head."
A sigh rolls over my lips. The clock is ticking loudly in my head.
"No, that's not exactly what happened."
"Yes, she's right, it wasn't a glass, it was a vase."
His hand touches mine, not in a sweet way. In a, I'm going to murder you in a second way.
"Ma'am would it be okay if we had a second apart?"
"She isn't going anywhere. I will fake a whole goddamn seizure."
The doctor stares at him full of discomfort. She doesn't seem to like him as much as I do.
"It's okay doctor Smith."
There is a long pause between my previous words and the words that are about to come out of my mouth. "Look... Pretty recent I lost my partner which was very hard on me." His hand that squeezes mine turns into real aggression. His nails press firmly in my skin.
"Don't say another word." He whispers to me if you can even call it whispering. I'm pretty sure the doctor heard it too.
"I've been having these weird visions, maybe hallucinations."
The nails that press in my hand are starting to hurt badly. So I move to the other side of the room where Zach can't touch me. Or even see me due to the curtains. "I had a vision where I saw him hit a girl, so I smashed a vase on his head. But then suddenly the girl wasn't there anymore."
The doctor says nothing, she gives me a slow nod as her expression switches from Zach to me, back and forth.
"I think that we should get a professional look into the situation."
Without saying another word she leaves the room. A sigh full of stress comes out of me.
"Anfisa, what have you done?"
"I needed to be honest, if there is even the smallest chance of me doing this again to you... I need to be locked up." The corners of his mouth drop.
"I can't lose you baby." The nickname flips my stomach upside down completely. I'm slightly starting to regret what I just said.
"Zach... I'm sorry, I already told them what happened..." His hand grabs mine as I come closer to him. This time in a sweet way. His eyes drop to my hand.
"You're bleeding." In an instant I pull my hand back behind my back.
That's why my hand hurt so much, his nails were pressed so far into my skin I was bleeding.
He doesn't have to see it obviously, he has enough on his mind.
"You have to run... Go back to my apartment, don't let these psychos catch you. You are perfectly fine, we can fix this ourselves, please!" The way he speaks while his breath has run out makes my heart shatter into little pieces. I tighten my lips together and nod.
As fast as the lights I run out of the room. My eyes scan the room looking for the most nearby exit. Emergency exit. Perfect!
A tough-looking guy comes walking in my direction with a straight face. So straight it seems quite intimidating. As he comes closer I read the text on his blue jacket. Head of psychiatry.
"No!" I yell at him. My words do nothing to him. My legs seem to get a mind on it's own and run towards the exit I was just staring at.
"Security! Stop her!" His voice sounds as frightening as I expected it to be.
My sight stays locked on him, when I run right in the arms of two strange men. Both are tightly dressed in a suit.
"What? What's happening? Let me go!" My voice sounds desperate.
I try to make eye contact with either of them, which doesn't seem to work.
"Anfisa, we just want to have a chat with you." How does this person know my name? Is the first question that pops up in my mind.
"I'm not crazy! You are!"
"Listen, no one is telling you you're crazy, you're we are just worried about you."
Dalton would've never let this happen to me if he was here...

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Sunday 20 December 2021
Dear diary,
what began as a date night ended up as a night out of my nightmares. It's currently 1am night time, or even almost 2am. I have been sitting in the same room for way too long. All I want right now is just to see Zachary.
Tonight I smashed a vase on his head, I barely even remember how it happened. But the guilt is still eating me alive. He is in the hospital with stitches because of me. If I just didn't exist, this wouldn't have happened.
Now I miss Dalton more than ever, I miss how he would comfort me. Wrap his arms around me and kiss the top of my head while he tells me everything will be all right, like always. Everything is all right as long as we have each other.
I've just spent an hour or more trying to remember everything that happened tonight. The date night, the shock of him telling me one of his biggest secrets. The exact vision I saw. Now I can just see a few people talking about me on the other side of this glass wall. The room is empty. The only bit of lighting comes from the glass wall.
Every once in a while one of them looks up to check if I'm not lashing out.

All the different people stand up, this probably means they are done discussing whatever they were discussing.
The person that spoke to me for the full hour enters the room. He said his name was Rick, but if that's really his name...
"Anfisa Diamond, I have talked with a few of my colleagues and we all came to one conclusion, I'm not sure if you'll be happy with it but it's going to happen." He lets a silence fall in between sentences to see my reaction, and when there is none he continues. "We think you need to heal with proper vision, exercises, and medication in a center for people who have similar problems. There are currently five other people there. You can go on your own but if you won't we are forced to send you there in a non-pleasant way."
"You're sending me away." I decide to say it in the bluntest way possible, maybe it won't sound that bad then.
"We realize this might be a lot to take in, we will surely give you enough time to say goodbye to your family and friends."
There is no need for me to say goodbye to my family. It's not like they are suddenly going to care, they never did. The only person I'm saying goodbye to is Zach... I have no idea how he will respond.
My eyes scan the room for the hundredth time, still, nothing changed in the room. But something changed in my mindset... I fold my arms tightly over my chest.
"We are only doing this because we want the best for you, when you come out of the mental institution, you will be stronger than ever." Sure... My eyes roll to the back of my head. This is the kind of talk they hold with every single patient, I'm not different.
"Unfortunately as you tried escaping before we can't lose sight of you. We will give you a few hours to say goodbye to everyone you want and then we will leave. Our guard David will stay with you." I'm drawn in by the way his mouth moves, so slowly. Like time freezes. "Ma'am? You can go now." His words rip me out of the trans I got in.
I decided that I want to have my last hours in freedom with Zach, the person who makes me feel like I'm free, no matter what.
As I step a foot in the room his face drops. Because David the guard is behind me, he knows exactly what will happen.
"Hey princess..." His voice is louder then I need it to be right now.
"Zachary I'm so sorry... I shouldn't have dragged you so deep down into this." He shakes his head hard.
"Stop." I feel his fingers wrap around my hand, always trying to comfort me.
"I did this to myself, I do this to myself, why do I do this to myself?" Tears stream down my face like little waterfalls. I can't leave. There is no possible way of escaping this room other then the door David is blocking. "I wish I didn't exist." My voice breaks mid sentence.
"Please don't say that, you are one of the greatest things that have happened to me in a while. I will always be here for you. Through the easy times, but especially through the harder times."
I bring my face closer to him until we are only inches apart. His breath falls upon my skins, giving me chills through every bone on my body. Before I know his lips are touching mine firmly and passionately, millions of tiny sparks come from the kiss. My lips don't leave his for ages, I wish we could stay like this forever.