Act of love

Chapter Twenty-Two

Anfisa:
The bright sunlight shines on my eyes. The sun in the early morning is so painful. I must've forgotten to close my blinds last night.
Finally my eyes fully open, I turn away from the sun to not be blinded first thing in the morning.
"Laurence." I didn't mean to say that out loud but I did, a bit too loud. He turns around to me.
His shirt is on the other side of the room. Every memory and detail about last night returns to me. Guilt washes over me in huge floods.
"Shit." I mutter under my breath. "Shit." I repeat a million more times. "This wasn't supposed to happen."
"Hey Anfisa, calm down. I didn't mind it." Annoyed I roll my eyes at him, of course, he didn't mind.
I pick up his shirt and put it on because my clothes are nowhere to be found. Without even saying goodbye to Laurence I run out of my room back to my own before anyone else finds out.
"Had a fun night Anfisa Diamond?"
"Shit." I repeat for the one million and first time.
Melody is standing at the door opening, leaning against the door frame. Why is she up so extremely early? It's barely 7 AM.
"I'm sure Laurence had a fun night, wouldn't your boyfriend love to know this." More guilt washes over me, I am drowning in it.
Zachary... He doesn't deserve this.
"Listen here Melody, if you tell Zachary." I lower my voice and move closer to her ear. "I will kill you myself." My own mind can't even follow the words I just said.
Of course, I would never kill anyone, right? Do I even know myself? Each day here I grow to think that I am actually crazy, while I am supposed to become better here.
"I'm sure miss Adams wouldn't appreciate you threatening me."
"What have I ever done to you?" I lash out at her. "Sure, I wasn't the nicest to you I could be, but I am sorry! I can't change it now can I? Just please, do not say anything." Why do I even bother asking her, I know she will tell it in a heartbeat.
"I won't if you do something for me."
Blackmail could've expected that one with Melody.
"You know I don't do well with blackmail, I'm pretty sure blackmail is worse than just enjoying a night with someone."
"Would Zachary think the same?" The way she says his name makes me even more mad than I already was, if that's possible.
My hand hits the side of her cheek hard, leaving a red mark in the shape of my hand. Immediately I take a few steps back. Shocked at my own actions.
I need to leave, this support group, or whatever the fuck this is, isn't made for me.
I storm past her to my bed where my suitcase is laying closed up, ready for me to leave. For the last time, I open it just to grab some pants. From underneath my bed, I grab my shoes. Without even bothering to put them on I open the window.
"Listen Melody, I am really sorry." Are the last words before I jump out of the window. The room I sleep in is on the first floor, meaning the fall was quite tough, but so am I. At least, right now because of the adrenaline gushing through my veins. There is barely anything visible because of the dark woods and the lack of sunlight. In an hour the view will be better, but I can't wait a full hour.
As much as I hate it, there is only one option running through my mind, only one place where I can stay. My parents... I remember them saying they say a few houses away from my youth house. Casually trying to return to the old 'perfect' life we ever had. If I had other options where to go, I would've taken them without hesitation.
My feet touch the cold and wet ground, I have shoes in my hand but my first thought is to get far away from this support group. It taught me nothing but pain.
"Excuse me, sir!" I yell at one of the two walkers on the side of the road when I get to the first main road. Probably two people taking a calming morning walk together.
"What city is this?" They take a look at each other before staring back at me. I get the way they look at me, a woman dressed way too cold for this weather, a half-open suitcase, dirty bare feet.
"You're in San Bernardino." San Bernardino, the city my dad used to take us to go shopping when he had to make up for hitting my mother again. It's not that far when you have a car, but walking is quite a long walk.
"Maybe it's rude to ask, but do you guys have some money for a bus ticket to Los Angeles center?" It's just five dollars for one ticket, but still there is guilt for asking. The guilt isn't any bigger then the one I'm feeling for cheating on Zachary.
"I only have two dollars, you Rick?"
"Ah I got a five dollar bill, perfect." He hands it out to me, and a smile forms onto my face.
"Oh thank you so much, I will never forget you guys." I kiss the bill out of happiness and run to the nearest bus station. "Thank you bye!" Is what I say while running away, bare foot.
There is a lot of mud on the signs so I can't see when what bus leaves. I try wiping the screen a bit with the paw of my sweater, to no result. The waiting is stressful, every second I look around just to check if no one is coming to look for me.
"Anfisa?" A soft voice from the woods sounds. The tied shoes are no longer my main attention.
My heart ends up right in my throat. At the same time, bright lights appear a few miles away. It's just a little dark to see if it's a normal car or bus.
Please let it be my bus.
"Anfisa are you there?"
As the vehicle moves closer and closer I see it's the bus. Thank God. I do not want to go back there, not even for a million dollars.
Now let's hope this is the right bus.
As luck would have it, this is not the bus that goes to Los Angeles.
"This bus goes to Santa Clarita, where are you headed?" He asks casually.
"Los Angeles." The bus driver motions for me to get in.
"We go right through there, the next bus isn't for another hour." I could hug this man to death, I'm going back to LA. A smile appears on my face and I don't let him say the comment twice. I hand him the crumbled up five dollar bill from my back pocket.
"You can keep that young lady, buy some breakfast from it." He must think I am some homeless girl. He is in the full right, I do look like one, I am a total mess. Not only from outside, mentally I couldn't be doing any worse right now.

--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--

I've been standing in front of this door for exactly two hundred thirty-nine seconds. When I realize the courage in me is nerve going to grow any more then this, I knock on the door. First softly, then harder. Loud barks reply to my knocks, they got a dog. My eyes roll at this discovery. They can barely take care of a child, why take a dog?
"Anfisa?" My dad is standing wide in the door opening. Seeing him in this house reminds me of old times. The house may be a few blocks away, but it looks exactly the same as it used to. "Come in! What a surprise to see you, your mother is still in bed. I will go and get her, she would be so happy to see you." Something about the tone in his voice is quite disturbing. He's so happy, my dad is never happy.
"Hey buddy." I say to the dog in the living room, he looks like a very young golden retriever. Such a fluffy boy. "Hey Chase." Chase looks up at me but doesn't say anything. Maybe it's because he hasn't learn to talk a lot, or if he is just too shy to speak to me.
"Hey Anfisa what a surprise!" Two warm arms wrap around me fully from behind. Instantly I rip them off me and turn around to face her. I thought I was a mess, she looks devastated. Her hair is a mess, eye bags like she haven't slept in years and her nails are all grown out.
"Jesus mom, do you not know how to take care of yourself?" My words hit her harder then I meant to.
Her eyes crinkle a little in the corners. "Did you seriously just came here to insult me?" I take a deep breath, she's right. I need something from her, then I need to be more nice.
"I'm sorry." We both know I don't mean it, but it's the gesture that counts. "Can I stay here for a bit? At least until I find out how I can get a new key to my apartment, a lot happened." A long silence follows. Almost as if she has to think if I can stay here. My family knows I hate them, but I never knew it was mutual.
"Of course, you can stay here Anfisa, you are welcome to stay as long as you wish."
"Thanks, dad." The person I didn't expect to be nice to me is the only one who is currently nice to me.
Maybe staying here isn't too bad, this is a great way to get closer with Chase, maybe even with the dog. Whatever his name is.