Act of love

Chapter Twenty-One

Anfisa:
The moment is so close that the tension has grown so much. I am about to meet my parents again, I don't even see them as my parents anymore. They're complete strangers who made me and who have the same last name.
"You seem nervous, is everything okay?" Laurence takes a seat next to me on the couch.
We all finished lunch early so we have a few minutes before visiting hour. The minutes to turn to my own thoughts. This is the first time he spoke to me since I made him angry, he hasn't even looked at me. And now he pretends to care. I grab one of the many pillows I buried myself in and puts it in between us. A slight sign of needing space from him.
"Even though I'm still mad at you, you know you can talk to me."
"Aww, look at the two lovebirds together on one couch. You guys should make out."
My head drops back against the couch. Always Melody getting in the middle of shit. Honestly, I want nothing more then to get out of this shit hole.
"Anfisa, your visitors are here early and asking for you." I wipe my sweaty palms on my jeans and take a last look in the mirror. All kinds of thoughts and flashbacks wash over me.
I just want to know about my brother and what I can do to help him. The last thing I want is for him to go through the same if he is my family.
Zachary is sitting in the corner of the room, the same position as yesterday and the day before. I stare for a while, not wanting to go over there yet.
My dad hasn't changed even the slightest in looks, still the same grumpy face, not a single smile or even emotion on his face. My mother, she's the opposite, she looks so happy to see me. When she gets up I see a young boy sitting in between them.
"You must be Chase." I say in a playful kids tone, not even bothering to greet my parents.
They're dead to me.
Chase seems quite shy, he nods as he bites down on his finger. It seems as the ticking of the clock got louder as yesterday. Louder and more annoying.
After I have greet Chase I hug Zachary, a tight hug, one I needed.
"He is your brother, I asked them before we got here." Zach whispers into my ear, this makes me hug him even tighter. Not a hug out of love, out of frustration.
"Does Amory know he exists."
"Yes, Amory got in contact again two years ago." There is a stabbing pain through my chest. Even Amory betrayed me. I scoff a little too hard. "Come on Anfisa, if she forgave us, you can too." Says my mom with a sweet begging voice. Funny, my mom is the only one speaking, while my dad is the abuser.
"You shouldn't be the one talking." My vision changes from my mother to my father. He doesn't even bother to make eye contact with me. "How many times did you hit her after I left?" The direct question seems to get him in a more tense mood, or it could be because of the loud clock.
"I didn't count." I shake my head in disbelief. Definitely not the answer I needed. He even hit her while this 'miracle', called Chase was born.
"We've changed a lot, I haven't hit her in over a year."
"Congratulations dad, do you want a fucking medal?" When Zachary places his hand on top of mine a breath escapes my lips. In an instant I pull my hand back, if he's going to comfort me I'm sure I will cry. If I'm not crying already. A small tear makes his way down onto my shirt. "I can't forgive you guys, I don't care how much you change."
"Yet you decided to come here and talk to us."
"And why do you think that is?" My eyes focus on the little guy Chase, his expression looks fearful. It reminds me that no matter what I do, I will always be a daughter of my father. I will always have the same part of aggression in me as he does, but I will never ever let it take control the way he lets it.
"We thought you knew about Chase, we did tell you that I was pregnant when you left, but you didn't listen."
"Bullshit." I mutter under my breath. This is just one of the many dumb excuses to get me to forgive them, which will never happen. "The only reason I will be checking in regularly when I'm out of this institution is because of Chase. I don't want him to ever grow up the way I did." I didn't mean for the last words to come out so hurtful. But the expression of my mother tells me enough, she's hurt, my words pierced right through her heart. If she even has one.
"I'm not coming back because of you dad, not because of you mom, and not even because of Amory!" All eyes are staring at me when I realize how much I am actually raising my voice. Laurence his eyes are in sympathy mode.
"Visit time is over."
The clock tells me 12:17 pm, meaning I still have exactly forty-three minutes left. But those forty-three minutes I'll spent writing in my diary, or crying until I fall asleep, just to wake up for therapy a few minutes later.
"Anfisa, wait, please. This is not how I wanted it to go." Zachary isn't allowed to be anywhere outside of the visiting room during visiting hours, but he doesn't seem to care even one bit. He follows me right outside.
"We have to talk about this."
"There is nothing to talk about." His arms pulls me against him, when my cheek touches his shoulder I can no longer hold back the tears. "I can't do this, I can't be a normal family again, not with them. I can't be normal as a person ever again, all because of Dalton. We were supposed to live happily ever after." I take a deep breath after speaking at least five hundred words a minute. My mouth opens to speak again but I just stay quiet.
"Shh, it's going to be okay, I'm here for you, I'll always be here, never going anywhere without you again."
His eyes catch on mine, a deep connection creates itself, as if I am bound to be with him. There seems to be a little string between our eyes, locking them together. The string is creating itself between our lips too.
"Sir, we will take her from here."