𝟖. 𝐃𝐢𝐬𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝

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Yuvaani

I was sitting just right before the holy fire and my heart was clenching each time Panditji was reciting his words of mantra. But a baby cry broke my trance when I looked at him.

The person next to me is becoming my husband by this process called marriage, which is currently undergoing. His son clinged to him, he didn't get annoyed. He's quite patient. Following his son, his daughter too came. But it was difficult for him to handle both the babies my single hand, so I offered him my help.

"Can I-" I was willing to speak the whole sentence, but as soon as our gaze met, words died in my throat.

He permitted and I took his son. The baby is quite cute. And got silent immediately after being in my arms. He was basically playing with my saree. And then he stood on my lap. I held him securely.

It was the first time I'm holding his baby and it gave me a kind of feeling that-

A feeling that I have to protect him from all odds. I felt protective. Plus, there was an unknown emotion too, like- I wanted him to keep close to me. Close to my heart. Hugging me.

No doubt, I love kids. But this was something different. My hold became tighter on him, taking care of the fact that I'm not hurting him. He then started licking my left cheek, that made me feel giggly ! I want to pamper him with all the kisses, but currently I can't. But still, I gave a light kiss on his head, and he gave me some of his baby words.

Then he rushed to his dad's arms when we were vowing. We went on a round to seek blessings from our elders.

But my mom held me in a hug, along with my dad. And I felt nothing. Absolutely nothing. What should I even feel ? I tried realising the fact that it's for my own good. They always want the best for me. But my heart wasn't ready to accept that fact.

"Please. Don't" I said and stood aback and looked at him. What if he felt that I ain't a good daughter ? Nodding to me, we carried the blessing ceremony.

My bags were shifted and we've been seated. My parents looked at me with teary eyes. My heart-

My heart wasn't ready to do this. Vaani, bid them goodbye with a good note. Okay ? My brain offered me. "One minute, please ?" I uttered and excused myself to step out of the car. I went to them and stood before them. I wiped their tears with my fingers and shook my head, telling them not to cry.

My dad took me in a good hug and kept his hand on my head, blessing me.

"Sada suhagan raho beta" he said.

I nodded and took their blessings again. It felt like I'm going to give an exam ! Cause, before every exam I used to take their blessings. But the only difference is, this is a life exam. Without pen and paper.

I bid them bye and sat in the car.

"Mai mami ke paas baithunga !" Vihaan shouted in joy.

[I'll sit with Aunty]

"Betu, piche jagah nahi hai na" Aarush's dad explained and held him to stay on his lap. They were sitting on the passenger's seat.

[Son, there's no space for you in the backseat]

The little boy was silent for a moment as if his excitement died. "I'll sit on her laps" he came up with another way to which I smiled internally.

"But beta-" Di tried to deny him but I intruppted.

"Let him come. Come here Vihaan"

"Yay ! Mami is the best !" He jumped from Uncle's laps to the backseat and then on me.

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