Knowing His Wife

𝟑𝟑. 𝐎𝐮𝐫 𝐅𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐊𝐢𝐬𝐬

Yuvaani

It has been much time I'm explaining myself that it's okay. When it's not. It pains. It really hurts hard to know the one you love, already loves someone else.

Poets effortlessly show that Unrequited Love is beautiful. No one actually tells that how it hurts. How it pains. Maybe this is because I'm in this phase right now. I'm in love with him, but he still loves her. He's close to me, but he isn't. He's practically here, but-

Umm, leave it. I'm just bringing up the dead talks! A tear rolled down my cheeks, missing him. It has been a week I last saw him.

He's trying to contact but I'm not replying him. What will happen? We'll talk then everything will get back to normal and I'll end up expecting the same from him, just because I love him. I just wish if my feelings weren't involved, I would be at peace!

I feel like anything in this world can't equate my emotions. The way I feel. I feel like going to the ocean bed, where the ocean is of emotions. I never knew I was this bad at handling them.

I sighed. I know I miss him. And any logically correct suggestion can't lessen my hurt and my  feelings for him. I love him way too deep. I know I would run an extra mile for him. But the question is, will he do the same for me? That too willingly? Will he reciprocate my emotions and efforts? Will he love me the same as I want him to?

I'm being so selfish that I want to experience his love. May it be even for a split second- I will capture it in my heart forever. But these expectations of mine will bury me to ground. They'll be crashed just the way they used to. 

And this explains the very reason I don't want to take a step towards him. I want to guard myself, my heart. My feelings. My unrequited love. 

I still believe love is beautiful, it's just that I didn't get to experience its beauty. I want to feel how being in love feels like. 

Aarush

My heart yearned again. I've lost count . I've been taking his name in a day. My phone pinged with a notification. I took it and checked it. It was Aarush sending me babies' videos.

"Momma" Priyansh chirped

"It's mumma, baby. Not momma"

"Mum-mum-mum" This time it was Pihu.

"Say hiie to mumma, Pihu" Aarush

"Mere bacche" I muttered to myself as the video ended and touched the mobile screen as if I was touching them. I replayed the video again and this time I looked at their dad.

I missed him too

But I don't want to talk with anyone, not even him. It's like- my whole world is falling apart and I'm alone. Rest others are on the other side of the world.

He has been texting and asking me like three times a day if I had my food, my medicines, proper rest! But I didn't reply to him even once.

Why should I? I am just his forced wife. He didn't even consider me one on his own.

"Vaani" my mom called out. But I don't want to go. 

"Vaani beta come here please" she called me again from the kitchen or the living room maybe. 

"Va-" This time I just heard half of my name, but who cares. 

My chain of thoughts broke as I suddenly hear my door slammed open, revealing him. He took steps and reached me, I stood in anticipation.

What is he doing here?

Even though my heart skipped a beat seeing him, I want to see him more and more. He got more handsome? Maybe yeah. Or maybe because I'm seeing him in real after so long!