Broken Beads

Chapter 4

Riya couldn't understand why the air around her felt so dense? Why the winds reminded of those innocent kisses , stolen glances and those feathery touches.  She hadn't missed all that in years but all suddenly came back. 

Riya felt Varun around, he was close. She shook her head, she must be going mad as that was a closed chapter. He and she were done, she had moved on. 'Have you' asked a tiny voice in her head. Yes, she had, her demure turned stern in response to her own mind. Riya was sure, these thoughts awakened just because she saw him again in the Nirali's wedding.

Riya moved to her medicine cabinet, she needed  a pill to sleep or her head would split into two. Her calendar was booked for whole week and she couldn't afford to miss the same. Popping a pill, she made herself a cup of hot chocolate. Moving to the window of her room, she leaned against it staring out at the rain. The streets were empty, and the few who were out took shade waiting for the down pour to stop. Riya smiled, staring the rain drops visible against bright street pole. She had loved rain as a kid. She would lock her room and jump around so that her family wouldn't know.

While in boarding,  she would drag Nirali along . Thought he latter hated getting wet, she complied just for Riya. And then one day, she experienced one of most beautiful moment of her living years. A moment she could never forget. Riya took a sip, slid opened the window extending her arm to feel the water. Riya felt a strange relief pass through her body and then her eyes went to a figure in the rain staring up at her. She couldn't see his face but did she need to see his face, she knew him by his breath , his presence. Riya quickly moved away leaning against the wall . Why was her here? What did he want now? Hadn't he thrown her under the bus at he first chance then? They why was he here? She feared being hurt again. She feared that the darkness she escaped will engulf her. Hot tears rolled down her cheeks as she collapsed on the floor. 

***

Past

''Nirali, its raining. There are so many people in the main lawn area. Let's go.'' Nirali stared at her mad friend. ''You realize this is a hill station and getting drenched in the rain can cause us to fall sick. Plus, tomorrow in Monday, can't afford to miss a class''

''Will have hot soup and noodles post our adventure, but pleasessssssssssssss.'' Riya batted her lashes and Nirali gave in. She was aware that Riya came from a very conservative family deprived of small joys. They played with water trying to catch the drops. They splashed water all around and at each other giggling like kids. Nirali quickly stepped into the shade but Riya kept dancing, these small things mattered. This felt like being free, something she had longed all her growing years. She danced with couple of other students before her feet coming to an abrupt halt, she was being watched.

Riya's eyes met that of Varun, he stood in a distance , his hoodie one watching her like a hawk. She felt nervous but her feet refused to move. Varun smiled, he stepped out in the rain walking towards her. Once close, he smiled once before suddenly joining the dancing crowd around her. They were mostly juniors who wanted to enjoy the weekend on a bad weather day. She watched him under lashes but his eyes never left his. They both knew a step closer would lead to behavioral session and phone back home.  

Riya smiled , her eyes on her feet and her heart bursting with joy. His attention made her happy. Taking a deep breath, she made a turn running back to her hostel building with Varun eyes chasing her all along. He smiled pumping his fist in air. They hadn't spoken a word yet every things was said and understood. 

***

Same evening, Riya sneaked out on pretext of going to library, she knew there would no one as students preferred lazy Sunday. She checked the instructions, smiled and walked towards the floor Varun had asked her to come to. She greeted the librarian, who looked miffed about Sunday duty and ignored her completely.  With a thudding heart, Riya checked the cameras around and pretended being busy. She pulled out a book nervously before moving he corner with a blind spot. 

Riya found Varun, leaned against the wall smiling a her. She smiled, hugging the book close to her chest, as if trying the cover the drumming of her heart. Varun extended his hand pulling her a little closer. He stared down at her, his fingers gently caressing her soft cheek. ''So innocent.'' He whispered, his fingers moved down both her arms gently intertwining his with hers. She watched in absolute amazement at their joint hands. It was like a dream come true, she had always believed in miracles and believed that god would bless her with best and today, her dreams were coming true. Varun gently pulled her little closer before pecking her forehead. ''You scare me Riya. Yet, I just cannot walk away.'' She just kept her eyes lowered. He lifted her chin up gently pecking her lips softly. A wave of shock passed through her and she stepped back, her eyes on him with a mix of confusion and fear. ''I won't hurt you. Its a promise.'' He tried to comfort her but she ran away nervous. He watched her disappearing from his eyes, he leaned against the wall calming his own heart. Varun cursed himself for losing the control but Riya stirred different strings of his heart. Her innocent admiration for him had been growing on him for days now. Varun had promised his friend and himself  that he wouldn't hurt Riya. He had tried for days but his affection deprived heart turned greedy . He wanted to know how it felt to be the center of anyone's world . ''I will not break her heart.'' He promised himself, not aware he wold break the same in the future.

***

Varun took he medicine prescribed by the doctor before returning to his hotel  room. He lay there watching the beautiful ceiling, his eyes recalling her scared movements a night before. ''You broke her, stay away from her.'' His conscious chided 

Varun sat up. ''I wish I could let you go. I wish, I could leave you alone. I wish, I could take back all. But I am selfish Riya, I lost you once and I can't lose you again. I will die.'' He whispered before covering his face with his palm and breaking down. 

Varun's phone buzzed, it was Lakshay. ''Hi!''

''Are you fine? You haven't answered our calls.'' Lakshay shot

''I am scared Lakshay.''

Lakshay took a deep breath. ''Varun, you always knew this is going to be easy. ''

''What if she refused to speak?''

''Then you try again. Varun, you can't give up now. Go, and face your fears. You can't be living in delima. Either this or that, and we are there for you.'' Varun smiled and discounted. He freshened and dressed up. He stared back at his reflection, a young carefree Varun smiled a him. He knew what had to be done. Picking up the phone, he dialled her clinic and booked a slot with her mentor. He was going to face her and his fears. he was going to do all to win her back and bring her in his life. If he failed, he was going to end his own misery and hers as well.

Varun smiled at his reflection. ''Riya, my love, here I come.''

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Short one. Next will have the reason for Riya's pain