Broken Beads

Chapter 5

Dr. Olivia Smith a senior  Psychiatrist watched as his young man took his seat. He looked well read and fed. Someone who had all the luxury yet he was here. She waited for him to settle and greet her. His body language screamed nervousness, it seemed he knew what he wanted but was something he was scared to ask for.

''Varun!'' She greeted him. Varun gave a nod. ''No family name.''

''That's the only name I need.'' Olivia smiled , the boy must have had a tough time with family. She kept all aside giving him her full attention. ''Tell me Varun, you are here for help. And what's that I can help you with.''

''I broke a heart, years back. I regret it. I am looking for forgiveness , don't know how to get that.''

''Did you try accepting your mistake or speaking to this person.''

Varun rubbed his face letting out a pained breath.  Olivia noticed the slight tremble of his limbs. Varun suffered from sever anxiety. This had to be with someone important. He closed his eyes once. ''She refuses to acknowledge or stay anywhere in my presence.'' 

Olivia thought, that was normal but she also understood that Varun was as broken as the girl he mentioned. She watched he young boy for a moment, he reminded her of her now assistant and colleague Riya. She shook her head,  focusing back on Varun. The shake of his legs, the nervous glint in his eyes and the way he looked at door every now and then. She really wanted to help.

''Varun, before we get into the depth you need to promise that you will be completely honest with me. I need everything, then I will be able to help.'' He nodded. ''Can I see your medication.''

He extended the file and Oliva knew that Varun needed to vent. He was on anti depressant for too long. She closed the file and asked. ''Start from where ever you want to. I want to hear all.''

''I come from a family of very successful people. All are very successful in their fields, I took a detour and became a black-sheep. He huffed, ''I am a musician.'' She smiled giving a nod.

''My dad got me admitted to a prestigious school  and I decided to stretch my wings. My music gained some admirers and friends.''He smiled recalling his other three friends. Olivia scribbled on her pad. ''And then I met her. I took a small job as a guitarist at a local restaurant, and among my audience was she. She never missed a single day I played . She sat in a corner watching me with a smile. After a couple of weeks, I started expecting her and we exchanged smiles. Her presence made me feel like a winner. It was the time I enjoyed lot of female attention but her smile and presence started mattering more.'' Varun recalled those innocent  exchanges , a smile stretched on his lips.  ''She would come in first and leave last, and would cheer for me without fail. I was a star in her eyes and that made me believe  in me''

''we started meeting a places hidden from other eyes. Our hands interlinked and hearts beating in sync. Then it was our first kiss, on a Sunday in the library.  I vowed never to hurt her yet I did.''

There was silence and Varun suddenly broke down shocking Olivia. ''Varun, have some water.'' She gave him the time to compose himself. ''She came from a patriarchal house, her freedom had cost. She needed me that day and I couldn't stand fro her.''

''How old were you?''

''17, old enough to accept the truth but I became selfish. I thought all will pass if I save my neck but it crushed her, destroyed her dreams and changed her into someone who has no hope.''

''What happened Varun?'' Varun shut his eyes as the past and the noise came back in full force.

Varun had borrowed Lakshay's bike , he had plans to spend whole Saturday with Riya somewhere away from prying and judging eyes. They had agreed to meet near at the restaurant he performed to avoid being caught.