Chapter 25; The Seige

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V R I N D A

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V R I N D A

There was an impending darkness in front of my eyes. As they bore the sharpened light of the sun, there was no strong arm around my waist that seemed protective enough to fight against the darkness for me. There was no heavy chest behind my back, heaving up and down from small breaths. There wasn't a radiating heart beat that could drum my ears with the serene pleasure as it had last night. With first the break of dawn, Rudra was gone.

Loneliness felt by a human heart was an almost bearable ordeal. It was always the fear of loosing it all that seemed unbearable to the naked eye. Well at the crux of it all, there was nothing a human being couldn't bear. It was a fascinating thing, of how their threshold kept expanding with every push of pain. When you think that there will be a cure to it, there might be a solution it just kept getting worse, the push. Rudra's biological affiliation towards the Kaurava side felt bearable, but the thought if his loyal presence in the enemy army made my insides turn.

Something sunk in my heart. He didn't even wait for a proper goodbye.

I wanted to fight. To scream at his incandescent logic of reasoning. I wanted him to not think for me. It felt unfair of how he just knew, that he would be on the other side of the spectrum when it came to Indraprastha.

But the truth was that this was much more than a fight for land. This feud between two sides of a family held answers to who I was. It held the eternal response to the being of my identity. It held the essence of who I was. I wasn't born to face normalcy. My mother had five husbands and thus I had five fathers because that is what every being I ever saw, made me believe. That night in the assembly hall of Hastinapur, they didn't only question my mother's "virtue", instead they questioned the legality of the mere existence of my brothers and I. It questioned my worth in the society that has crafted a structure of "worthiness" for the women they want and the women they never will.

He was right. He knew I'd always choose to fight than to love because there was more for me to loose in loving than in fighting. And I'd rather be fighting than drown a painful death, in loving.

My body felt like it was caged by the lingering scent of his. I smelled like him. My wrists still felt like they had been very gently gripped and pressed against the bed by his huge hands. I still could feel his breath on my neck, his hair gently passing my abdomen, his lips on my...

Stop it, Vrinda. We are at war!

As I closed my eyes, swallowing the lump in my throat. We were at war. Sooner or later this was supposed to happen. I knew it like a deadly instinct surging up around my senses. War was inevitable. But nonetheless it felt strange. The thought of facing him on the other side, when I had convincingly told my mind d that I at least had him even if I had to face the worst of the wars, ever fought by mankind. At least I would have him.

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⏰ Last updated: Mar 04 ⏰

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