Allison: Fight

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Finally. I had all the power. I could do whatever I wanted to whoever I wanted and nothing to stop me.

Nilla pulled away from Jace. "Ali, please! I can't let you be this way. Surely there's something I can do to help pull you from this."

Help me. As if she could. The orb began to glow. "Tell me how you really feel, Nilla."

I was connected with her emotions and could feel the surge in anger build. I knew the words she wanted to say but fought to express.

"I'm angry with you," she said.

"And what else?" As angry as she was, I still felt love. That had to go.

"You have a darkened soul because you can't deal with the tiny little bumps life gives you when others who have dealt with far more hate life far less. They say life only gives you what you can handle, too bad you can't handle a whole lot. The universe must not think very highly of you."

I took a deep breath. "My life has been horrible, what do you know about it?"

"I know it hasn't been horrible. I know you only magnified the situations in your own mind to make them seem far worse than they really are. I know you never take any responsibility for the pain you caused yourself or others. You made this life for yourself, now learn to deal with it."

Help me. It's like she hadn't been listening to me at all. Our entire friendship was a lie. Everyone handles things differently. Her experiences weren't my experiences, but she still insisted I react the way she would. Not even people with the same upbringing can do that. What did she know about me at all?

A fire was raging inside of Nilla and she couldn't help shouting. It was easy at first, perhaps because she felt I needed to hear how I should act like her, to be more friendly, trusting and open to new experience. Being open comes from trust. Trust is earned, not freely given just because someone exists and says hello. And why would I be overly friendly to a stranger? I might smile a bit and say hello when approached, but I'm not going to just strike up a conversation just like that. Not everyone has that ability. Some of us just like to keep to ourselves.

Her speech quickly turned dark, probably because of how judgmental she can be, and she proved it too. She started telling me all the things she hated about me. I'm too fat. My hair is a stupid color. I wear too much makeup. My style is dumb and cliché. I'm an idiot. I'm worthless. I got lost in the anger. Was it her thoughts of me or my thoughts of myself?

As suddenly as it started, it stopped, and the orb stopped glowing.

"Allison," said Jace. "Why would you cause her pain? We agreed that she would stay out of this."

"Because of her supposed kind heart," I snapped. "Can't you see that she's not as perfect as she tries to make people believe? I'm merely trying to show you that she's just as messed up as I am as is the rest of the world. You should've been with me in all of this. You should've met me first. You should've seduced me!"

The orb began its pulsating glow once more. All I felt was pain. Why did everyone else get all the breaks? Just one. That's all I wanted.

Jace stood between me and Nilla pulling the red energy from the orb into himself. "I will not allow you to harm this world with your own jealousy."

"And what of your agenda? Maybe you're misguided as well."

"My agenda is whatever Nilla wants. Her agenda is one of peace and equality. Yours is dark and controlling, far darker than I ever could have imagined. When I first arrived, I thought it was that energy that I needed, most likely because it was that energy that called to me in the first place. But now I know that I need pure energy to win my battle. Nilla's energy."

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