𝐖𝐀𝐑 𝐎𝐅 𝐋𝐔𝐒𝐓 | 𝟏𝟖+

FORTY-TWO

A L Y S S A

"I was thinkin' about who you were, your delicate point of view, I was thinking about you."

. . .

I don't know if my mind is playing a cruel game with me or not, because all I can recall from the last few moments of last night, is being in Roman's arms.

And even if that moment is a fantasy conjured up by myself, it was the most blissful moment of the night; regardless of how Roman has made me feel.

It felt good.

And that's how I know it's not real, because I saw him take off with that blonde and I know how much he resents me.

I wake up with a terrible hangover and a pill on my nightstand along with some water. That must be Dante that put it there.

I immediately swallow the pill and chug down the entire glass. After that, I lay back in bed and fall asleep for another while.

The next time I wake up, the headache has lessened a bit, but I don't feel any better.

I turn to lay on my side and clutch a pillow of mine close to my chest, while I welcome the pain that greets me every day.

I feel so... empty.

Drained of all my energy. I didn't enjoy last night. I wasn't happy on my birthday.

While being surrounded by loved ones, a genuine smile couldn't make its appearance and all I wanted to do was run off and be alone.

Alone and let out all the tears that won't stop flowing.

My chest deflates with each breath. The urge to stay in bed all day long is strong, but I know Zainab is going to barge into my room as soon as noon passes and demand I get out.

So before she gets the chance to do so, I do it and freshen myself up. After washing my body and face, I feel fresher than before and step out of my room.

Zainab is taking a nap on the couch, the TV still on whatever show she was watching. I put a blanket over her and take away the empty bowl and glass standing on the table.

In the kitchen, I occupy myself by making a tuna salad and toasting some bread.

Soon enough, Zai wakes up and sits up on the couch.

"Good morning," she grins as soon as she sees me in the kitchen, and rubs the sleep from her eyes.

"Good morning," I reply. She stands up and walks over toward the counter. "Is that tuna salad you're making?" she asks, an excited glint in her eyes.

It's one of her favorites.

I smile at her expression and nod.

"Ugh, amazing. How was your night out yesterday, did you manage to enjoy it?"

The smile fades from my face, and a crease forms between Zainab's eyebrows when she sees.

"What happened?"

Immediately, I feel the urge for another drink hit me.

Because the second she asks I'm reliving everything that happened and I want to chase away the hurt.

What I do instead is tell her what went down and that I saw Roman head out with another woman.

By the end, Zainab is calling him all kinds of names in Arabic, when there's a knock on the front door.

We both look at each other with furrowed brows.

"You expecting someone?" I ask her, but she shakes her head.