Butterfly Effect (Kyle's Lost Twin)

Boyfriends

After the Sunday church service everyone, except Kyle, left my hospital room so the others could visit me too. "Dude! You were fucking amazing! If I wasn't scared for your life I would have filmed it!" Cartman exclaims, pushing past everyone as he walks into the room.

"Gotta give credit to Leo dude, without him and his ability to calculate timing down to the second there's no way I would have done it." I compliment and Leo smiles brightly at me, "So, Butters can like predict the future?" Cartman asks, turning toward the blonde in question.

"Not exactly. I can 'Predict' the immediate future and not with any visions and shit. I can predict it by using Chaos theory, if I time things in a correct order I can increase the probability of the future I want. It's never one hundred percent and sometimes the best I can get is a fifty fifty shot. It's all just math." Leo explains, hesitating before mentioning Chaos theory. His alter egos name is a bit on the nose, so is mine though.

"So you were telling Y/n when to throw the knives and stuff?" Stan asks, Leo nods in agreement. "Imagine it as if he was playing a video game and I was the character defeating the final boss." I explain further and the guys nod in understanding.

"Woah, who drew that?" Kenny asks, pointing to Ike's Super Y/n drawing. "Ike drew it, isn't it great! Who knew a ten-year-old could draw like that!"

"He made the final supper painting out of pasta when he was three." Kyle states with pride, "isn't he also like, three grades above the other kids his age?" I ask and Kyle smiles, "He's my little genius!"

"Hey, we came up with an idea on how to cheer you up since you can't finish your boxing season and all..." Stan begins and I look over to him, intrigued.

"We'll tell you about stupid shit we did as kids. I drew the short straw so I have to go first... When we were eight there was an illness going around that made people bleed out their ass, Cartman got it and thought he was having his period-"

"He what?" I ask point blank, unsure of whether or not I heard him correctly. "He caught an illness that made him bleed from his ass and he told us he had hit puberty and was getting his period." Stan explains again and I can't help but chuckle slightly at Cartman.

"That's not the end yet. He told us he got his period and we all thought 'shit, we need to get our periods now too!' So Kenny caught the illness and said he got his period and Kyle lied saying he did too. I was so bummed out about not getting mine I managed to get hormones from the Doctor claiming they were from my Dad and I took them all. Now, here's were shit gets even worse...

...On New Year's Day God came down and let us ask one question, instead of someone asking an important question about world peace or world hunger, I asked him why I didn't get my period in front of all of America and it haunts my nightmares." I can't help but laugh at Stan, the image of little eight-year-old Stan full of testosterone asking God why he didn't get his period is just way too fucking funny.

"That wasn't the first time Cartman did something stupid, claiming he hit puberty though. The second time we were nine, he said he hit puberty because he had pubes. Turns out he bought pubes from a sixth grader and the idiot kept going back to the sixth grader to beg for money and only dug himself into a deeper hole..."

"...Unfortunately for the sixth grader though if you push Cartman too far he goes crazy and he got the sixth graders parents killed and cooked them in a chilli which he fed to the sixth grader..." I look over at Cartman, unsure of what the fuck I'm supposed to say to that, "it's okay. That was six years ago and I've had a shit tonne of therapy since then."

I know Cartman's trying to be reassuring but knowing he did that is still super fucking creepy.

We chat for a bit about random childhood stories, but eventually Kyle has to leave to study and Cartman invites himself to study with Kyle. Stan goes too as he has a date with Wendy, leaving just Leo, Kenny and myself in the hospital room.