¶chapter fourty nine¶

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Faris wasn't able to focus on anything after leaving Ajwa that day. His mind was occupied by her and that was very unlike him. Nothing and no one ever managed to get all over his head till now. This marriage was just a commitment for Faris before. He was a man of his word and someone for whom responsibility always stood first. 

He thought it would be the same in the case of his wife as well. He thought that no one could affect him this much. In the beginning, the wedding was just a union and a sense of duty for him. Faris believed that if there would be any girl as his wife, he would have done the same. Just giving her respect, affection, safety, and legal rights.

Even he had the same thoughts for Marina as well. That was true he didn't have any hard feelings for her. He just wanted to settle and when she approached him herself, she seemed better and easier than every other girl.  But with Ajwa, it was something different. Something deep and something meaningful.

Ajwa was intriguing and daring. She fascinated him with her fearlessness and outspoken behavior. Then she played hard to get which even increased his craving for her more. It was desire, a feeling of having a lawful relationship with her and like. She showed her volatile, sentimental, and vulnerable sides to him which made him feel connected to her.

Many times she seek his embrace while in sleep to combat her nightmares and while being awake, she would try hard not to show any reaction to him.  Faris began relating to her. She was also injected by the action of her parents and he also had the same past. The perception of obligation when changed into care and affection, he didn't know.

Faris started enjoying living with Ajwa. She made him admire coming home earlier than usual and bringing her different things which she liked every time he got to her. The smile which came on her beautiful face was so soothing for him whenever he used to do these two things. Just for this heartwarming smile, he even sometimes used to just give her a surprise by not telling her that he was arriving back. He liked Ajwa's presence around him. He liked her cute angry face whenever she got possessive of him.

He liked to go to her favorite market and see her eating her favorite messy and oily street food and shopping for hours. She loved the long drive and even when he was never fond of it, he now began enjoying it just to have Ajwa closer to him so that he could look at her charming face and hear her talk. Even she made him like those cheesy tv programs just because she loved them and he preferred to watch her being happy and satisfied.

That was not the type of marriage that he always anticipated for himself. In it, there was no attachment and no habit. It was just an obligation on a physical and superficial level. There were no extra perks of feeling that closer to his wife ever that she would keep on occupying Faris's mind always. That was something very different, confusing, and new for Faris.

Faris liked to get near to her. He enjoyed her taste, her intimacy, and the feel of her so closer to her. It wasn't just an obligation for the sake of their marriage. It was deeper than that. If it wasn't, he wouldn't have been so happy to find that she was feeling special by him. Even he didn't think of this so profoundly before marriage.

Faris was changing but he wasn't realizing it. He never knew that those dead emotions would get alive again and Ajwa would be the one to do so. He initially thought that those sentiments had been buried forever in some part of his heart and he would never feel them again. There was a deep void in his heart which had been made since he saw his mother crying due to love.

No one ever could fill that space again. It just kept on increasing more and more, making Faris very repulsive of love or any emotion in general. It had made him very indifferent. He seldom shows any anger, sadness, love, or any emotion. He remembered Faraan used to call him a computer machine or textbook for always speaking logically and not bringing any feeling into his talks or decisions.

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