Thinking About You

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Amber was recounting her dreamy date with her crush-turned-boyfriend during the break. One of her classmate, Ruhi, who happened to have heard the snippets of conversation exclaimed in shock, "You paid for the dinner?"

"Yeah. We split the bill."

"WHY?"

"Why not? What's wrong with that?"

"He made you pay on your date. What sort of guy does that?"

Amber frowned not understanding the problem here, "He didn't make me do anything. We just had mutual understanding that we would split the bill. What's so weird about it?"

Ruhi rolled her eyes, "Boys always pay on the date."

"Who made that rule? I think it's pretty wise to just split the bills."

"I would simply walk out if the man made me pay for the date."

"Then maybe you shouldn't go on dates." Amber muttered.

"Excuse me?"

"You surely do realize how entitled you sound, right? You both are on the date you agreed to so why should only the man pay? Is the government funding him for that?"

"What? No-"

"Exactly. We are still in school and his parents give him allowances like others. Instead of spending it on himself expecting him to foot the bill for my food, shopping, movie tickets is absurd and quite selfish."

"But the boys are the ones asking us on date-"

"And you agree to go. If you can't afford it then don't go or plan something frugal. Is it just the idea of free food and movie making you go on dates?"

"No. That's not what I meant." Ruhi looked offended at the remark. "You're such a feminist."

Amber balked at the absurdity of the statement, "What? I- You think making a guy spend money on you makes you a better person. Sorry to tell you, it does not. You've money, buy your own stuff."

"Why should I? I have a boyfriend."

Amber scoffed, "That's not a boyfriend but a sugar daddy."

"How dare you?" Ruhi shouted.

"Did I say something wrong?"

"You're just jealous your boyfriend isn't buying you stuff."

"I'm glad he's not. I can buy my own stuff."

"And you don't think I can?"

Amber sighed, "Ruhi, I'm not saying you can't. I'm just trying to make you understand that making someone spend so much money on you isn't a good thing. Occasional gifts are one thing, everyone likes to be pampered but making him pay for your necessities, expensive bags, shoes and clothes is too much."

Ruhi huffed in annoyance, "He likes buying stuff for me. It's not like I force him to."

"It just doesn't seem okay to me but whatever."

Amber decided it would do no good fighting over it. Everyone had different lifestyle. If it works for Ruhi and her boyfriend, why should she care. She should be more focussed at matter at hand. Ayan's birthday was next week. Birthdays at their house were silent affairs. Ayan wasn't keen on celebrating it but Amber refused to let it pass like any other day. If they stopped celebrating these little things, life would be too boring. Maybe this year it wouldn't be just two of them. There was definitely something going on between Ayan and Akk though Ayan would deny it at all cost. He was different with Akk, those little smiles, twinkle in his eyes, softening of his features, she could see it all even if Ayan himself couldn't realize the change.

Akk was on the video call with Damien telling him about his stay at Ayan's place.

"You guys spent the night together?"

"Yeah." Akk said blushing.

"Did something happen?"

"No, not really. It was awkward at first then it wasn't. I wish I could explain Ayan to you. He- I kinda like him."

"Just kinda?" Damien chuckled.

"A lot actually and that scares me."

"Why?"

"Because it's not that kind of like. It's- I-" Akk stopped short not understanding how to go on. His thoughts were all over the place and not linear enough for him to verbalize.

"Akk, you aren't thinking about how you aren't good enough for him? You better not be."

"Well, that too but I'm worried about something else right now."

"What is it?"

"I want him to be my master, my dom."

"Oh." There was flicker of something strange in Damien's eyes but he smoothed his features quickly.

Akk continued, "But how could I ever ask him that? He would- it would be a disaster. Just thinking about asking him to be my boyfriend seems scary enough. He may not like this kinda lifestyle, you know, he may think it's weird or disgusting or I don't know, it's just- he may end up hating me."

"Anyone would be lucky to have such pretty babyboy."

Akk blushed yet again at the nickname. No matter how many times he heard it, it made his heart flutter. "He may not even know about bdsm."

"Oh come on Akk. Everyone knows about bdsm in this era of internet. Whether they are into it or not is a different thing."

"He may not be into it. I don't think he is."

"A sweet looking twink like you are into it so you never know."

"I guess. If he's into it, that's even more terrifying."

"Why? I thought you wanted him to be your dom."

"You don't understand the kind of power he already has over me and we aren't even dating yet."

"Does he order you around, Akk?"

"No, not like that. He doesn't really say it as a command yet I find it hard to refuse or even think about saying no. I just want to do everything to please him and make him like me, it doesn't really make sense to me. Does everyone feel like that in love? Or is it just me?"

"Maybe you should maintain some distance from him. He doesn't sound good for you."

"But you were telling me to date him before?"

"I didn't know he affected you like this. It just doesn't sound healthy."

"Maybe." Akk spend rest of the day contemplating everything.

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