Chapter 37- Regrets

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--Alaric POV--

"Mama! Mama! Look! I drew a picture of our family at school today-"

"Not now, Rick. Mama's busy."

Too busy to spare me a single glance.

***

"Mama, can I take swimming lessons with all my friends?"

"No, how's swimming going to help you? If you want to do something, do self-defence instead, that way you can protect our family."

Could I not do both? I couldn't even muster up the courage to ask. Because I already know the answer; No. No. No. It's always no.

***

"Mama, I want to be an actor just like you!"

No, I didn't. I just wanted you to give me some attention.

"Oh, really? But what about your father's business?"

I didn't want to do that either.

"Papa can give his business to Uncle Tonio. I want to be an actor!"

No, I wanted to be a doctor. But that's a forgotten dream now.

***

 "Mama! Can you test me on my lines? I don't want to make any mistakes,"

"You won't make any mistakes, you're my son after all."

"But mama-"

"Ask your manager to help you, that's what he's there for."

Then what are you here for?

What am I here for?

Why am I alive if you, my mother, doesn't want me here?

***

"Mama!"

Look at me.

"Papa!"

Please, look at me.

But they never looked. And they'll never look.

***

"Alaric! Where are you going!? Packing your bags like this without even giving us proper notice!?" She screamed, following me down the steps as I rushed to get out of this suffocating household while towing my suitcase with me.

"I'm leaving this place, I'm never coming back."

"How could you say that!? You've suddenly gotten big and famous and now you're turning your back on your family!?-"

"-No! You turned your back on me! What do you want an abandoned child to do!? I'm not a dog that's going to sit around, waiting to be saved! If I can save myself then I'll do it because I've been waiting my whole life for you to save me, but you never have! You never will!"

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