Gemini (Ryeji)

Chapter 17

May 25...

If she was the old Ryujin, she wouldn't have been out here at night scavenging at every store for the perfect gift. She would have just went to the jewelry store, pick the priciest gift of them all and give it to the one she loves most.

That was the old Ryujin's way of expressing her love...

But this is the new Ryujin now... She wished she could create it herself, it's in her head but her hands doesn't seem to be as advanced as her thinking, ending up with a bundle of mess instead of the perfect gift. She already threw out that miserable attempt of a gift and is now searching every store for the right one.

Until something in the store window have caught her attention, she didn't knew what drew her to it, it just somehow did... That gift cost more than Ryujin would have hoped for.

If she was the old Ryujin, she would have went to La Madeleine, the expensive pastry shop and ordered for a Black forest cake for Yeji. But all Ryujin could do is sigh in disappointment, Her budget can't even get her to buy Yeji one, that she ended up with just a cupcake version of the black forest cake and a lone balloon.

*

Ryujin walks back home, since she never rides public transportation unless Yeji is there.

"HAP- Oh, you got a cake" The sound of disappointment was the only thing that Ryujin could hear in her voice.

Not just a cake, a beautiful chocolate cake intricately detailed.

"Yup... Giselle surprised me with one. They had like a surprise birthday party for me at the café. Come here and taste it."

Ryujin steps closer and Yeji brought a forkful of cake to Ryujin's mouth.

"Is it good?"

"Pretty good..."

"What you got there?" Yeji asks as she spots the box that Ryujin is holding.

"Oh ummm... this?" Ryujin didn't know if she should even bother handing Yeji the cupcake. "It's a black forest cupcake. It's like the best thing in the world. Well, second best thing next to your cheesecake..."

"Come here..." Yeji pulls Ryujin to sit on her lap. "You're cheesy but I love you..." Yeji swooped in for a kiss but Ryujin pulls away.

"Hehe... Wait..."

Ryujin got up from her lap and Ryujin excitedly went to the kitchen to grab a lighter.

"Happy birthday..."

The cat eyed girl simply gush at Ryujin's sweet gesture.

"You're going to sing for me..."

"Ummm..." Ryujin wasn't sure about that, oh no wait she is... She doesn't sing.

"C'mon please... pretty please..." Yeji bats her lashes to charm Ryujin over.

Ryujin didn't even started singing and she's blushing already... "I don't sing."

"For me, Ryu... please baby..."

"Ok..." Ryujin said defenseless against Yeji's cuteness.

Ryujin clears her throat before singing to Yeji. The whole entire time, Yeji has a sweet grin playing in her lips as she listens to Ryujin's voice. She couldn't understand why Ryujin was so hesitant when she got such a sweet, lovely voice.

"I love you, Yeji..." Ryujin caps of the song coupled with a few kisses. "Blow your candle and make a wish."

Yeji smiles at Ryujin before the birthday girl puffing her cheeks to blows her candle animatedly.

"I have a wish..."

"Well... don't say it... it may not come true..."

"But how could it come true, if you don't know about it?"

Yeji didn't need to say her wish, because the moment she pulls Ryujin to bed with her, Ryujin have already granted it.

And Ryujin couldn't help but smile as Yeji moan at their every touch. The Old Ryujin might have everything, but she wouldn't trade places with her ever again. Because the Old Ryujin doesn't have Yeji and right now and probably until forever, that's the only thing that matters to Ryujin... having Yeji...

*

No matter how exhausted and how she ached in different places, Ryujin couldn't help but smile the moment she woke up. Her smile spreads wider at the sound of Yeji humming to a KPOP song in the shower.

She stayed awake listening to Yeji until she hears the showered stop...

I need a ti-

"Happy Birthday..." Ryujin greets the girl.

"Thanks..." Yeji's smile was something Ryujin could stare at forever. And until now, Ryujin couldn't help but wonder how could someone who looks as innocent as her, could turned out to be so aggressive. Ryujin just stared at Yeji dressing up for work, and she wondered again, why was it as much of a turn on watching Yeji dress up as it is taking her clothes off?

"Don't make any plans tonight..."

Yeji's words woke Ryujin's wild daydream.

"Oh..." Ryujin's smile was tiptoeing between the invisible line of mischievous and lust. "Why? What are you planning birthday girl?"

Yeji gives Ryujin a warning look.

"No, you perv!" Yeji couldn't help but blush. "You're going to take me out on a date on my birthday."

"Where would you want to go?"

"Well, we talk about that Korean restaurant before so I think we're going there..."

"Sounds good."

"Good..." Yeji walks towards the bed and gives Ryujin a kiss on the lips. "I have to go, I'll see you later..."

She was about to leave, but the feeling of Ryujin's arm wrapped around her waist was making it hard.

"Stay for a little bit..." Ryujin whispered huskily, pressing kisses on Yeji's neck while her hand had slip inside Yeji's clothes.

"Ryu, I have work..." Yeji tried to convince Ryujin, but even she can't convince herself as her hands have already found their way on Ryujin's body.

"Just for a little bit I promise."

And promises were made to be broken as little bit turned into something much longer. That Yeji just picked up her phone and called in... They'll understand, it's her birthday anyway.

*

When at work Ryujin tries to focus at nothing but her work, that's why it irritated her to feel someone poking her in the back. She rips the earphones off and glares at her co worker for the interruption.

"Hey... he wants you..."

Her co worker points to the door, at their balding boss tapping his foot impatienty for her.

"Someone is here to see you..."

*

Ryujin wondered why someone as well dressed as this man would end up eating in a dingy Chinese restaurant like this.

"Shin Ryujin..."

It didn't take more than a minute for Ryujin to recognize the man standing in front of her.

"Nice to finally meet you. I have been keeping an eye on you..." He wags his finger playfully at her.

"You're-"

But the man cuts her off and introduces himself. "Yes... Chan..."

"Sir..."

Ryujin bows down, the man is a baseball legend in South Korea before making a name for himself to the American league.

"I didn't know you work?" The man snickers as his eyes wandered around the cheaply decorated excuse of a Chinese restaurant. "I thought the Shins were loaded..."

"My father is... but not me..."

"Well... no need to worry about that..." He claps his hand and flashes a mischievous grin. "How about bringing me your bestseller here?"

"Ok."

The food was left untouched the entire time, the only focus that the legendary baseball player has was on Ryujin.

"I saw you play usually when I watch women playing baseball. I just watch it for the amusement factor but when I saw you play Ryujin, I wasn't amused... I was at awe..." The man leans forward. "You didn't even bat yet but you have that whole field under your will and the moment you made that ball flew through the bleachers. A talent like you is a rare find."

Ryujin wished she could express it in a more profound manner with the way this man is praising her, but there is only one word to say it.

"Thanks..."

"The American league wants to expand its product. We want to make baseball a global phenomenon. That's why there are scouts in every corner of the world searching for that player who can bring the game to a new level. And I think you have what it takes..."

Chan sets in for the kill as he sees the dark haired beauty in deep thought.

"But I'm going to set things straight... It's not going to be easy, you are going to compete against the best female baseball players in the world."

Ryujin was not even worried about that, the only thought that came to her mind is could she ever leave Yeji?

"Ummm... how long will this last?"

"Well... getting scouted is the easy part... tryouts will take 6 weeks... but that doesn't mean you make it through, that you get offered to play. You have to be drafted. When you're drafted then... that's when the hard part comes in."

"6 weeks? Tryouts will be in America?"

"Of course... The league is separated into two Eastern and Western. I'm representing for the Western, so the tryouts will be held in California."

"Look... I'll think about it."

"You should. Don't let an opportunity like this go, Ryujin. Well, here is my card."

Chan hands her the card but before she could take it, he pulls away.

"That is how quick this opportunity could go if you don't take it. You don't want to spend the rest of your life thinking of the what ifs."

The man's word didn't intimidate Ryujin a wee bit, instead she snatches the card from him.

"I said I'll think about it..."

*

Ryujin's mind wandered off to her conversation with Chan but the moment Yeji twine their fingers together. Everything else just flew away...

And they don't have to announce it to everyone, there couldn't been a more obvious fact than the two being madly in love.

Yeji and Ryujin's hands were playing underneath the table when they were interrupted by their waiter.

"Here's your check."

Ryujin went out to get it but Yeji swiped it first.

"Hey... it's your birthday..." Ryujin pouts...

"I know... taking you out on a date is the best birthday gift ever." Yeji said as she hands out her credit card.

Ryujin could only feel one thing. How undeserving she is to be treated like this... But all Yeji could think was how wonderful it was, to finally spend her birthday with the one she loves the most.

*

"Ryu?"

Ryujin turns her attention from the ceiling to Yeji who was swarmed by books and school notes in their desk.

"Is the light bothering you? That's why you can't sleep..."

"No..." Ryujin smiles wearily. "I like having the light on, I get to see your face better."

"Hehe... you're so cheesy..."

Ryujin's grin faded when the thought of not seeing Yeji took a grip of her reality.

"Come to bed."

"Hmmm?"

"You're studying too hard... come here and sleep..."

"Well I need to, I want to give us a bright future."

Ryujin clenches her teeth at the thought, what did she ever do to bring that dream together for them?

"I'm going to sleep... good night, Yeji..."

Seeing that Ryujin turned away from her to face the wall this time, Yeji feared that she offended Ryujin. Ryujin feels the bed dipped as Yeji climbed in, pressing her body to Ryujin's back... Ryujin turns to face Yeji.

"I thought you have to study?"

"I do but I'll do it the morning..." Yeji stretches those long limbs while yawning, before playfully wrapping her arms around Ryujin's. "Thank you..."

"What for?"

"For spending my birthday with me."

Ryujin kisses Yeji's lips. "There is no other place where I want to be."

"Night..."

"Good night..."

One good night kiss.

"I love you."

Yeji blushed at Ryujin's good night...

"I love you too..."

Two good night kisses.

Ryujin slept a few good hours before she woke up when she felt Yeji's hand slipping away from her. She felt Yeji climbing out of bed and Ryujin waited... Maybe Yeji just needed to go to the bathroom, but instead Yeji went back to the desk to study.

And for Ryujin the decision couldn't be any more obvious.

"Ryu?"

Yeji watched as Ryujin walks hurriedly to the bathroom.

*

And Ryujin turns the shower on, trying to drown the sound of her crying with the running water.

*



Ryujin was walking ahead lost in her thoughts as Lia and Yuna trails behind her.

"Whoah girl... if I were you I'd take it... You could be the next LeBron in baseball..."

"LeBron is a basketball player..." Yuna happily corrected Lia.

"Well. What I'm trying to say you're going to be the Asian that promote this American game to Asia..."

"Japanese people are fans too..."

"What the heck Yuna?!"

"Hehe... Sorry..." Yuna apologizes amusingly, not minding Lia's bruised ego at all.

But the two stop when they just saw Ryujin just trudging lifelessly along.

"Hey it will be okay..."

"I don't think I could take being apart from Yeji..."

"Then, don't do it..." Lia says... "If all you're going to focus about when you're there is that you want to be with Yeji. Then, stay... don't make it hard enough as it is for the both of you."

"But this is my chance! I want to give Yeji the life that I always wished we could have."

"You know what dude...." Yuna pats Ryujin on the shoulder "You decide what you think is best. Don't let what I say or what Lia say influence it. Do what you can would be best for you and Yeji.."

The three girls walk silently when Lia finally spoke up.

"Well... moving on... dude... you heard about your cousin?"

"Winter?" Ryujin haven't heard or didn't really care about her after their heated argument about Yeji.

"I heard that Yeonjun's new girl found out about her and him..."

"Wait..." Now Ryujin was confused promiscuous as Winter is, she knew her cousin wouldn't fall for a douche like Yeonjun. "She and Yeonjun?"

"Yeah... she and Yeonjun, I heard they slept around a bit while Yeonjun has a girl and now that this girl found out. She's like out to destroy Winter."

"Destroy Winter?" Ryujin sneered. "That's a long shot but I praise her for trying."

"Aren't you worried?"

"For Winter? I don't know... Winter seem like she could handle anything."

That may be true. But people seem to forget that Winter is as human as they come.

*

Winter walks in the hall, before no one could dare look her in the eye or even raise their head when she walks by but this time, she could hear hushed whispers and sneers like bullets trying to shot her down.

She stops when she found out the reason for all of it... There on her locker, marked in black spray paint written for everyone to see...

Kim Winter slut...

Winter couldn't help but snicker.

"I guess this is your karma, Winter." She told herself...

But instead of reacting right there, Winter just walks towards her locker and opens her key.

"Karma sure is a bitch"

To the whole campus, she just look like the strongest but she had a little secret that she dared wouldn't let anyone know and that is...

Winter could fall apart too...

"Winter?"

"Karina?"

Winter tries to look away from Karina's worried eyes, scared that Karina would see her crumbling.

"Don't let that get to you." Karina says encouragingly. "Some people aren't just mature enough to handle situations..."

"Yes... that's why I don't... Is that all you wanted to say."

Karina wonders why she even cared to make Winter better, when the girl is obviously unaffected.

"Yes."

Winter walks away and people might see her as cold hearted but all Winter wanted to do is walk away before she crumbles into pieces.

*

For two weeks, Ryujin have been occupied with paperworks to finalize her trip to the States. She was signing on the last pages before handing it out to Chan.

"Well, that does it." Chan's pen clicks as he puts it back on his pocket. "Trust me, I have been there, and it's not going to get any easier... But you just have to shut out everything while you're out there in the field. So, tell me Ryujin, do you have somebody special?"

"I don't see how that is your business."

"Well, it kinda is... Cause you know people think it's their skills or their hard work that's pulling them away from their dream but it's not. It's having someone and especially on your situation, if you have somebody, leaving them is the hardest part of all of this."

Ryujin looks down at the truth of it all.

"And I have been there too..." Ryujin for once heard the man's voice without a glint of mischief or arrogance, it was as if he was aching and had been aching. "Distance would only make you or break you but if that person insists on staying despite all of this then they truly love you..." He tries to mask all his frustrations with a laugh. "But who believes in that, right?"

Ryujin then notices his attention getting drawn at whoever walks in the restaurant. Ryujin felt sorry to whoever this girl is, as the man is just undressing her with his eyes... Ryujin turns around curiously to see what kind of girl this player might be interested.

And if Ryujin had something sharp, she would have stabs his eyes out.

"Stop that..." Ryujin snarls at him.

"Wae?" The guy asks confusedly...

"Ryujin?"

Yeji sees them together and happily walks over.

"Hey... I'm Chan..."

"Oh ummm hi..." Yeji didn't mind the man eyeing her lustfully and turns back to Ryujin.

"What you doing here?"

"Oh... they cancel me today since we don't have any patients so I was like thinking maybe we should go somewhere before going home together."

"Awww... Ryujin... you didn't tell me you have such a cute sister..." Chan gushes over Yeji and Yeji have to clench on Ryujin's arm, knowing Ryujin could smack the guy if he talks more.

"She isn't my sister, she's my lover."

"Oh..." The man smiles amusingly. "So, that's why you never seem to be interested in me, huh Ryu?"

"Who is he, Ryu?"

"Oh wait... you didn't tell her?"

"Ummm... not yet..."

"Well... that's my cue to go..."

He packed up his stuff...

"I'll see you in a week, Ryu. And nice to meet you Yeji..."

He might have walked away but his words have left a bitter taste that Ryujin have to face.

*

"What was that all about?"

Yeji asks as they got back to their apartment.

"Well... He's a baseball scout for the American League"

Yeji remained quiet waiting for Ryujin to continue but Ryujin seems to be busy, or trying to look busy to avoid talking to Yeji. Until Yeji holds on to her arm.

"Don't make me feel like a fool, Ryujin... what is it about?"

"He asked me to tryouts in America."

Yeji knew that she should be proud of Ryujin, but how come those words felt like someone squeezing the life out of her?

"And what did you say?"

Ryujin wished she didn't have to say it now. "Ahhh... I said yes"

"Yes? B-but... but why didn't you tell me about it?"

"Because I needed to make this decision on my own for us Yeji..."

"How long would it be?"

"Ummm 6 weeks to two years..."

"Two years? But that's too long..." Yeji's voice was starting to waver. "How could you say this is for us when you make the decision on your own?"

"BECAUSE IF I TOLD YOU I DON'T THINK I WILL TAKE IT!!!" Ryujin grimaces when she sees Yeji taking a step back.

"Then, why are you doing this? If it's so hard for you?"

"Look Yeji, I don't know if you ever figured it out but I'm nothing without money."

And Yeji starts crumbling, here she was foolishly thinking that she and Ryujin were happy, but now she have to find out, it was just her, that she never made Ryujin happy.

"Baseball is the only thing I'm good at... Do you want me to be stuck working for a fucked up place for the rest of my life? Is that what you want?!"

"N-no..."

"Yeji I have to do this...This is the only way I know where I could give you a good life, Yeji... I want us to move to a better place and..."

"Look, Ryujin if that's your only reason then just stay..."

Yeji wraps her arms around Ryujin, holding her and pleading...

"I'm starting to earn a bit more now... Just a few more months Ryujin and our lease for this apartment ends and we can move to a better apartment."

And Yeji's heart broke when Ryujin pulls away. But Ryujin only did it because she was afraid holding Yeji longer could just change her mind.

"You don't understand Yeji!!! I'm not just doing this so we could move to a better place. I want to do this because I want to be able to give you anything that you want!!!"

"I DON'T WANT ANYTHING I ONLY WANT YOU!!!!" Yeji crumbles down in front of Ryujin. "I only want you, Ryujin..."

"Damn it Yeji, don't make it much harder than it is... I don't want this kind of life for us! I don't want you forcing yourself to stay awake to study because you are too tired from work, where we have to worry if we have enough for food, when every letter we have we had to hold our breath, wondering if the water company or the light is going to cut us off! I don't want that!!! I want a good life for you, for us..."

"When I said us Ryujin, I meant we do it together not with you million miles away... Ryu, I would rather work 24 hours knowing I'm coming home to you rather than live like a princess and not have you beside me."

And as tears continue to fell and hearts continue to break, it was obvious that this was a fight that nobody could win.

"How could it be so easy for you to leave, when I couldn't even fall asleep without you beside me?"

Yeji had enough looking like the weaker one in front of Ryujin, picking up her jacket and shoving Ryujin out the way as she make herself out of their room.

And as Yeji's word replays in Ryujin's head, she knew that she was the one who lost...

*

"Chaer?"

"Chaeryeong rubs her eyes sleepily and sees Ryujin in front of her.

"Ryujin?"

"Is Yeji with you? Can I talk to her?"

Ryujin desperately tries to step inside Chaeryeong's house, wondering if she could see Yeji.

"She's not here..."

Ryujin was losing all her chance of finding Yeji...

"But where could she be?"

Ryujin's worries have quickly quadrupled into fear...

"Ryujin... don't worry... sometimes Yeji just needs a time to think." Chaeryeong tries to be reassuring but Ryujin wasn't convinced as she pulls away.

"I need to be here for her! I need to be with her! Where is she?"

Chaeryeong sighs knowing that the only way to make Ryujin feel better was to tell Ryujin where Yeji might be.

"There is a place where she goes to since she was a kid..."

*

Ryujin could feel her heart sank as she walks back to the back forest of her home. And there curled up underneath the same tree was Yeji...

"Yeji?"

"Ryujin?"

And Yeji was trying to learn how it is to live without Ryujin by not holding back. But her heart, her mind and all that she was fighting against her, holding Ryujin back as she embraces her.

"You remember this place, Ryujin?"

"I do... how could I forget?"

"You know I always come back here when we were kids, I was thinking that maybe if we meet again. We could be friends." Yeji confesses. "But you never came back yet I still keep coming back. Whenever I feel sad or just had a bad day, I come here, thinking that maybe Ryujin would come save me again just like she did. You never came back but it doesn't matter anymore..." Yeji smiles through her tears. "Because you are here now..." Yeji crumbles in Ryujin's embrace. "How am I going to go on now?"

"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry..."

"I know our life feel so miserable and I'm sorry for being selfish but I'm happy..." Yeji says softly... "Nobody I talk to is ever happy anymore, they worry so much about bills, about school, about life. I worry about those things too but because I'm with you, those things don't matter. Being with you makes me happy and I thought I made you happy too..."

Yeji cries in Ryujin's shoulder.

"Then you told me that you're leaving and the only thing I could feel is that I'm not enough..."

"No... no... Yeji no... I love you... I love you so much... but I...I love you and I..."

"Ryujin if this is what makes you happy, then, do it..."

Yeji forces a smile, pretending to Ryujin that she's going to be okay when they both know they'll be hurting.

"I'm proud of you... always been and I'll always will be. And I want you to be happy..."

Even if it kills me, I just want you to be happy...

*

For Ryujin's last week, Ryujin have been busy packing her clothes while Yeji has her back against her, studying or trying to study.

"Yeji?"

"Mmmm?"

"You want to go somewhere tonight?"

"I'm sorry I have a test tomorrow..."

"But I'm..." Ryujin exhales what's left of her breath "Oh okay..."

*

Ryujin have been trying desperately to make things okay with them before she leaves. She invites Yeji out almost every night but all Yeji could answer is are excuses on why she can't.

At first, disappointing as it was, Ryujin could bear it, promising to try again tomorrow but tomorrow have come and gone and Yeji still refuse...

It was her last night and she begged to whoever was listening to let Yeji say yes but her prayers were never really the ones that were chosen to be answered.

And the only thing that Ryujin could do now was continue packing, she starts putting her clothes in her bag when suddenly she stopped. She just did. She has no strength to hold it in and as she grips the shirt that should be in her bag, her tears start drenching her clothes. She quickly wipes it away, trying to silence her cries by biting on her lower lip. But the harder she tries to resist, the harder her tears pout out...

Ryujin heard Yeji flipping through the pages, unaware of how much hurt the girl had put her through. But Ryujin doesn't know how the pages of Yeji's notes are soaking Yeji's tears.

The two thought they're going to be no gaps between them but instead the two tries to fall asleep apart. Both wanted to hold each other, yet it scared them that if they hold each other again that they wouldn't let go.

And for their last night, it was the same thing. The two who couldn't fall asleep when they're apart are almost a world apart.

"Be mine Yeji..."

Yeji opens her eyes and there was Ryujin trapping her in their embrace. Ryujin grips the sheets tighter in her grasp, desperate to hold Yeji again...

"Just for one more time, please be mine..."

Ryujin pleads, leaning closer to taste Yeji's lips one more time. And as beautiful Ryujin's lips felt on hers, the only thing that Yeji could feel was Ryujin's tears mixing with her own. Yeji wrap her arms around Ryujin's shoulder pulling the girl closer.

Yeji's lips parted open, letting Ryujin to taste her. And Ryujin have never kissed Yeji like this before, it was gentle and sweet. And Yeji groans as Ryujin pulls away, but Ryujin was not done with her, and she don't think she ever will. Yeji could only sputter a satisfying sigh as Ryujin's kisses drift down further and further until...

Yeji's sigh turned into a gasp.

It was during the earlier parts of their relationship, Yeji was quite uncomfortable with the idea the first time that Ryujin tried to do it. But during those times Yeji wanted Ryujin to know that she is willing to do anything with Ryujin, even pushed the boundaries with her. And during that time, Ryujin could feel Yeji moving around hesitantly everytime Ryujin's tongue starts to wander. But that didn't let Ryujin on, instead she took Yeji slowly, tasting her, nibbling her until she felt Yeji finally letting go. And Ryujin smiles when Yeji's fingers have drifted into her hair, pushing her head closer to take more of her.

And it makes no difference now, Yeji's fingers drifted from biting it, to clutching the sheets until it ends up tangled in Ryujin's hair, selfishly pushing herself more at Ryujin so Ryujin could have all of her.

Ryujin was still the one who have mastered everything about Yeji. The only one who could make Yeji tremble, the one who's name Yeji would scream, and the only one that Yeji would allow to touch her now until their end...

They might be oceans apart but nothing will ever change, for Yeji it will always be Ryujin... just Ryujin...

*

"Ryujin?"

"Mmmm?" Ryujin moans through their kisses until Yeji tilts Ryujin's face so they could look at each other. And the silence of Yeji's tears stab Ryujin's heart worse than any words could say.

"When you leave tomorrow, Ryu just go..."

"What do you mean?"

"Don't say goodbye to me, or wake me up to hug me goodbye... just leave..."

This time it was Ryujin's tears that started falling, how could her heart not ache when she felt that Yeji was already pushing her away?

"Why?" Ryujin choked out between her tears.

And at Yeji's words, Ryujin's heart will ache forever...

"Because I don't think I could ever let go..."

*

Ryujin didn't know if she could ever fall asleep, even if she knows that she should. She laid awake just staring at Yeji asleep in her arms.

Ryujin smiles as she watches the other girl sleep. She presses kisses on Yeji's bare shoulder, twirled the girl's hair around her finger until reality calls her back.

She carefully steps out of bed, took a quick shower and quickly went back, fearing Yeji might disappear. But the girl was still in their bed, sleeping peacefully.

Ryujin almost broke their promise and hugged Yeji but she stops just inches away from Yeji and fell on her knees by Yeji's bedside.

How she would have wanted to hold Yeji for the last time, to tell her she loves her and maybe hear Yeji telling her she loves her back.

Ryujin stands up in shaking knees and touches Yeji's hair lightly, pressing a soft kiss on the girl's temple and uttering a promise that she'll keep forever.

"I love you."

What Ryujin didn't know is that Yeji didn't fall asleep that night either. And the moment Yeji heard the door close behind Ryujin's. Yeji finally opens her eyes and now that Ryujin finally left, there was nothing left for Yeji to do but cry...

*

Time and time again, Ryujin finds herself looking back, maybe Yeji would say goodbye to her? Or maybe it's just her heart craving for Yeji one last time?

"Hey..."

Ryujin looks back at the two goofballs trying to stop their tears as they drop her off at the airport.

"Don't forget my chocolates..."

Lia and her food always comes first.

"I won't..."

"Don't forget my chocolate men..."

"Shut up Yuna..."

"What?!"

Ryujin wraps her arms around the two and didn't even realized how her tears started falling mercilessly again.

"Don't worry... We'll take care of her..."

Ryujin looks back at her two friends who finally let their tears drop.

"Thanks..."

"But don't expect her to be with you when you come back, I could be quite a charmer..."

"Shut up Yuna..."

"I'll come back and kill you myself..." Ryujin said it in a joking manner but both girls know she wasn't joking at all.

"Goodbye for now, buddy..."

Ryujin clutches on her bag tighter and willed herself to take a step, but here she was still paralyzed on her state. She took a step, one, two and finally she started walking and she couldn't figure out why walking have been such a hard thing to do. But before she could walk any further, she felt someone's hand holding on tightly with hers.

Just when Ryujin felt that she run out of tears, the sight of Yeji crying holding on to her made her break down once again. And this was a step that Ryujin could take, a step to closing the gap between her and Yeji.

"I..." Ryujin wished she could say those three words but all her throat could utter was endless sobs as here she is, crying helplessly in Yeji's embrace.

She refuses to let go, she refused to but she had to. And there was a big difference between had and want. Wants are craving you can live without, Had is a decision that will constantly chase after you...

And Yeji could have just waited at home, maybe cry herself for a few days before moving back to reality. She should have just waited patiently for Ryujin to call her from the States. But here she is, breaking her heart worse than it already is, forcing a smile through their broken hearts and forcing to move on as she would watch Ryujin walk away...

But she was here, she was ready to get hurt because she needed Ryujin to hear one thing, her promise that she would keep forever.

"I love you..."

And Ryujin's eyes gleamed after hearing Yeji's words, she lays her lips on Yeji again, tasting every word that Yeji have just said.

"I love you too... I love you so much..."

Yeji nods trying to stop herself from crying by fixing the collar of Ryujin's jacket.

"I'll be waiting for you..."

Ryujin presses their lips again, until she could see that she had a few minutes left before she could leave.

"I... I have to go..."

Yeji nods and kisses her once again before taking a step back.

"Goodbye..."

Ryujin pulls Yeji's neck so she could bring Yeji closer and kisses her one more time... until she knew that it was time to go.

"Goodbye..."

Yeji took another step back, but it doesn't hurt as much as seeing Ryujin walking away further and further... And Ryujin have willed herself not to look back and she was doing quite well until she was a few feet away from the check in.

And she realized that she couldn't do it, she couldn't live a life without Yeji. She quickly turns around to go back to Yeji's arms and her heart started aching again. Though the airport was filled with people, her eyes quickly search for Yeji, for her girl. There was no sign of her, And Ryujin finally exhales shakingly, handing with her trembling hands her boarding pass to the officer as she finally takes a step in.

There was no turning back now, this was for them, this was for her Yeji.

And Yeji wished that she could run back to Ryujin's arms when she sees Ryujin frantically searching for her. But instead, she continued to cry silently in that corner, making sure that Ryujin couldn't see her as she conveniently hide behind the corner. And when she was sure that Ryujin was finally gone, she made her way home.

And as hard as it was and as hard as it would always be, there was no turning back now, this was for them, this was for her Ryujin.


TBC