ֆɨռɢʟɛ ɖɛֆȶɨռʏ|ȶɮɦӄ օռɛֆɦօȶֆ

tsuchigomori x fem! sad! reader

guys at this point i have no clue what to write please PLEASE make more requests or probably won't update as much. song recommendation: Either Way by IVE and What Was I Made For by Billie Eilish (more like eyelash)

the song recommendation just came out so if you are a dive or you love kpop in general i would check it out!

tw: suicide attempt

Y/N's PoV

you're a teacher by the way

I scrolled through my phone, waiting for the students to get their books out. "Alright everyone, turn to page 45." I sighed, writing the number on the chalkboard. I turned around to my students, their glares of disappoint and resentment harshly burning into my back. It was like I could hear their thoughts; hear how they were so done with us teachers, how they just wanted to leave this so called 'hell'. And yet, in some ways I do definitely agree. Maybe it's just the work in general or even getting bullied. It depends on what someone's going through. As a teacher, one of my goals would probably be to put my student's happiness and mental health first. But yet, I have to teach them things that they'd rather not learn which is probably is a reason they don't like school. I have to stay up late, grading papers, studying the next lesson which I don't even understand, and I'll have to teach it. I just really wanna sleep if I'm being honest but-

"Miss L/N? What are you waiting for?" One of the students asked me. "Oh! Of course! Since you spoke up, would you mind reading the page?"

He scanned the page quickly, then finding the first paragraph. A few of his classmates behind them scoured at the sight of this boy, which I had no clue as to why. He scooted in tighter, feeling uncomfortable and looking somewhat frightened. The two children grimaced at the sight of his fear, then one boy passed a note to other, both smiling which such a grin I don't enjoy seeing.

"Hey, uh, you two! The boys passing notes! Come up here and put it up on my desk. Another note and I might as well send a note to your parents." Their classmates snickered at them. The one whom got the note turned it into me, and I picked it up as I slowly opened it, finding a whole paragraph of words I wish I never read. 

'I can't believe this is our homeroom teacher for the year. Shes so ugly and her teaching doesn't even make sense. Miss L/N looks so fat, I can't believe she still ate that burger today lol. She really should be getting on a diet. And look, of course our bitchy teacher picks the stupid student who has nothing to do with his life, I'm not surprised why his dad left him. He's probably going to cry in the bathroom again, I couldn't imagine crying at all. I literally hope this whole school dies and I hope our teacher and that weird guy burn in hell as well.

-B/N'

My hands shook and my knees trembled as I folded the page back up again.  Was this kid I asked to read getting bullied?

Of course, I missed it.

I couldn't read in-between the lines.

How foolish could someone even be?

Everything they said about me was right. There's no doubt in my mind. I really should go on a diet. I should've been checked my weight ages ago! 

Tears welled up in my eyes, fear, pain, and shame taking a hold of me. My head span, causing me to trip but catching myself because of a table infront of me. 

"Miss L/N? We finished reading the page a few minutes ago already. Are you alright?"

I smiled.

I have to set an example for them, I can't show them that I'm weak. I can't cry right now.

But tears fell anyway.

"Either way, I'm good."

I rushed out, ashamed because of leaving them unattended. I wiped my tears, wondering why this had to be happening to me anyway. When I come back, everyone will look at me with shame and disappointment, but truly, I'm disappointed in myself as well. I don't want to see the look on their faces, just thinking about it makes me sick. 

Something I've realized is I don't think I can stop running. I just want to get out of here, I hope the day when I come back never comes.

But it will.

Unless my days end now.

I turned around, looking for any possible entrance to the roof. I climbed up the stairs, it felt like forever.

I strolled along the cold roof, the winter winds hitting my face and my arms harshly. I had no jacket on, but that was the least of my worries. Right now, there's only one thing set for me to do.

I walked to the edge, my eyes following the snow as it drifts towards the ground, landing softly on the sidewalk. 

I exhaled sharply, knowing this would be my final breath. 

I took a step into the air, it was getting harder to balance. I glared at my other foot to move, but it was just so hard.

I could take my life right now.

I could take my life right now. 

I let it sink in, and my decision was clear from the beginning. I took my foot and-

"Wait." A voice said, someone's I recognized.

"Hey." I sighed.

Their hand was holding mine; they had a firm grip. I turned around to find Tsuchigomori, the only teacher who was actually kind to me at the school.

He pulled me into a warm hug, blood rushed to my cheeks and I suddenly got warmer. He took off his jacket, placing it onto me.

"Aren't you going to be cold?" I asked, our hands not even close to separating. "I'm fine, but you clearly aren't." He looked at me with a sincere look of worry in his magenta eyes. 

"I'd rather not say, but I guess I can show you. Did you dismiss my class? I hope they aren't waiting for me." He nodded.

We walked into the classroom and stopped at my desk. My hands trembled as I took the note and handed it to him. He opened it and I watched as his eyes followed the words on the page.

"Y/N, are you okay?"

"No matter what, I'll always say I'm fine, Tsuchigomori. But right now, I-I don't think I can.." Tears fell like a waterfall from my eyes. He wrapped me in a big hug and I smiled. 

"Thank you, I don't know what I'd do without you."

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I FINALLY UPDATED THANK GOD

9/25/2023