BlindAmour||Zb1 Tae Rae x Ricky

15

Ricky ruffled his hair and put on his mask. He clicked his tongue in anger. He had just finished talking with the director and was told that the filming in Korea would be put to a stop.

More scenes that were yet to be filmed were deleted and the actors would continue from the scenes in China. It was all because of the scandal and the director wanted to get the crew out of Korea.

The filming got pushed to three weeks ahead as all the actors would have to go back to China.

Ricky sighed and looked at the sky. He immediately thought about Tae Rae. Leaving Korea wasn't a problem, leaving Tae Rae was.

He didn't even know how to relay the message to
Tae Rae. For the whole of the week, Ricky stayed locked up in his hotel room. He just felt so weak, he was cut off from his phone, ignoring calls and messages.

He just laid in bed staring at the ceiling, reading, looking out the window or either staring at his pictures with Tae Rae. He thought that staying away from Tae Rae would make him miss him less.

He was wrong. He was so new to the emotion of missing someone and that made him almost go crazy with how Tae Rae was constantly in his mind.

He sighed for the umpteenth time. He heard a jingle coming from the door. He looked through the security screen and saw Tae Rae. He immediately opened the door.

Tae Rae quickly hugged Ricky, startling him.

"Why have you been distant?" Tae Rae asked, still hugging him. Ricky looked at Tae Rae in shock. He could feel his cheeks heat up.

"I haven't... I just needed time alone" Ricky muttered. Tae Rae worriedly cupped his cheeks
"Is it because of the scandal? Oh my- Ricky, you shouldn't be worrying about that" Tae Rae softly said.

Ricky sighed, he brought Tae Rae in and closed the door. Ricky held Tae Rae's hand and led him to his room. He sat down on his bed and Tae Rae followed suit.

Ricky sighed and brushed his hair back. He looked at Tae Rae. "How are you? How did you even here alone?" He asked.

"That's not the question Ricky, Are you okay? You've been ignoring my calls, do you know how worried I've been?" Tae Rae said squeezing Ricky's hand.

Ricky sighed yet again. "I...I've been feeling down...because of me, The director had to cut scenes. The scandal's really taking a toll on me" he muttered.

Tae Rae brought him into his embrace, he rubbed his hair softly as they hugged.

"I feel hurt too...you were suffering alone and you didn't reach out to me. I feel bad Ricky. Am I not soothing enough? Am I not caring enough? All I want is for you to share your problems with me"
Tae Rae muttered.

Ricky leaned out of the hug and saw Tae Rae's face.
He kept quiet for sometime, contemplating if he should really tell Tae Rae about his departure.

"I didn't want to bother you" he said, having made up his mind not to tell Tae Rae yet. Tae Rae hugged Ricky back again.

"Your problems Ricky, can never be a bother to me. I want you to share your problems with me. I'd be more than happy in helping you find solutions"
He said softly rubbing Ricky's hair.

Ricky completely relaxed in Tae Rae's embrace as he heard him speak. "Let's not talk about it for now"
Tae Rae said and got in the bed.

Ricky got in too and cuddled with Tae Rae. They kept quiet for sometime till Tae Rae spoke.
"Can you tell me about your family? You've only ever spoken to me about Hao hyung. Don't you have any other family members?" Tae Rae asked.

Ricky kept quiet after Tae Rae's question. He would usually freak out each time he remembered his family but this time, he actually felt calm and felt the need to speak up.

"I had a younger brother but he's dead alongside my parents.. I killed them" Ricky muttered startling
Tae Rae. "What do you mean?"

It was Zhanghao's college graduation, Ricky, his brother and his parents were on their way to the graduation.

Ricky's father suddenly brought up about a new drama he auditioned Ricky for. Ricky didn't even know about any of that. Ricky who loved acting so much, grew up hating acting because of his father.

Ricky knew that a new role meant another added diet. What pained Ricky was that his mother was in support of his father's actions.

"I'm not doing anything" Ricky muttered.
"What did you just say?" His father asked. Ricky looked at his father through the mirror.

"I said I'm not doing anything. You're killing me, don't you get it?! I'm tired of the diets! I'm so underweight because of you two!" Ricky yelled and stopped when he felt a lump in his throat.

"Quanrui...I thought you were strong enough to overcome it" His mother said turning to look at Ricky.

"I'm not! How could I?!" Ricky shouted as his eyes welled up.

"Shen Quanrui!! You brat!!" His father shouted and turned to hit Ricky with his hands still on the steering.

Ricky glared at his father "You should all just die"
He muttered, filled with rage.

"Dad!!" His younger brother shouted in fear and shock. His father turned back and immediately a truck hit their car.

"I killed my family. If I had kept quiet and accepted what my father said. They wouldn't have died... I.. I couldn't do anything when everyone died before my eyes" Ricky said looking down as he fondled with his fingers.

"I took away Hao gé's happiness. I made him miss his graduation... I often wonder..why was I the one to survive? Why did I make it? Why didn't I die?"
Ricky muttered and sighed.