Forgotten

Chapter 57

(Ariana pov)

April-27th-2019
Vancouver📍

I hurry backstage looking around for Faith who I find sitting outside on the floor against the wall of my dressing room.

Ariana: "You know you can go inside."

Faith: "I just wanted some more open space, plus sucks having this ankle brace on." She nervously chuckles.

Ariana: "Come, we're going inside." I helped her up. "What am I going to do with you?" I sigh, chuckling.

Faith: "Love me of course...I'm sorry I can't control my temper, I got distracted & one thing led to another & another & I'm here, not like I wanted to do this it just happened, more times than you think." She chuckles nervously.

Ariana: "But why does it happen, you don't just lash out for no reason...it's been a week since the car incident & your nightmares, something is stressing you out, nothings going to happen to me or us."

She stays quiet for a brief second.

Ariana: "Faith?"

Faith: "I'm sorry." That's all she can say.

Ariana: "Sorry is that all you know what to say? Baby please can you tell me anything."

She sighs & looks down at her hand. It was difficult seeing her go through this phase in her life. She was going through it alone & there wasn't anything I could do but watch herself get hurt.

Faith: "I...I...I...I'm, I don't know how to express what I'm feeling...you saw me cry already I don't want to put you through that again, you have a tour to worry about...you don't need me on your shoulder crying over my burdens." She smiles looking at me.

I could see it hurt her as much as it did for me to see her like this. I smile holding back my tears & sit next to her.

Ariana: "I can always do another tour or perform another concert, but I can't have another Faith in my life, I know whatever is bothering you hurts, baby, mi amor I get it...I understand I went through your shit too, my anxiety, Manchester & Mac passing, I didn't know how to deal with all of that in my life but I did with my friends, family & when you came back in my life I felt it all go away, I didn't have to take those pills or be afraid of anything because you were there to hold my hand, so don't be a dumbass dork & tell me what's has you worried in that beautiful mind of yours." I rest my head on my shoulder.

She pushes me away gently & leans herself forward shaking her head no.

Ariana: "It's okay you can tell me, I want to be there for you."

Faith: "I can't, I can't okay, I know I said I would tell you but I don't want you to see me like this..."

Ariana: "Fae?"

Faith: "I'm sorry I really am, it's just I have a hard time expressing what I feel...having traumatizing memories of before & nightmare because of that car accident where I almost got you hurt." She shakes her head. "I have these scars for a reason & all I know is how to deal with these emotions alone...so I'm sorry that I have a hard time expressing or keeping them bottled up inside."

Ariana's thoughts: "What are we doing wrong, I'm a good girlfriend I know that."

Ariana: "You don't have to go through it alone anymore, bebe porque no entiendes..."

Faith: "Because it's hard, okay, just look at me I've gone through so many hospital bills & broken shit that I've lost count, I tried my best not to do this to you but god it builds up & I can't hold it in."