The Desire To Be Better

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Slamming against the porcelain seat of the toilet, Wukong dangled his head into the bowl and dumped the contents of his stomach. Sickening bile rose from his stomach to his throat, burning his mouth with its exit.

The world reeled, dragging the immortal to his knees.

He hadn't gotten sick since he was very young. His immune system was as sturdy as the rest of his body.

To get sick now was almost impossible. He chalked it up as a consequence of many things; Overeating, overstressing, guilt- his own body torturing itself as punishment for what he had done, the list went on and on.

He deserved every second of this but also wanted it to go away as soon as possible.

It had been just a few days since his encounter with Liu'er Mihou, and already he was falling to pieces. Hah, no, let's be honest. He had fallen to pieces the moment those amber orbs of Mihou's emerged in the shadows of Flower Fruit Mountain. In a desperate attempt to buy himself some time, Wukong had forced a standstill.

28 more days until he would be forced to return to tell Mihou what he wanted to hear. It was easy enough to explain the Tribe's big move but as for Xiaotian...

The less information he could give Mihou, the better he felt it would be. He had no idea who exactly he might be... Listening in  on their conversations.

He had to be careful about this. He needed a plan, and it needed to be flawless.

He also needed to stop dumping the contents of his stomach.

Upchucking, Wukong groaned. "Ugh..." He bowed his head, his body aching. "Idiot... Idiot..." He smacked his forehead.

You're selfish, Sun Wukong!

Oh, he was. He truly was. He was a hypocrite, a coward, and any other name Mihou deemed him worthy of. He had one chance.

One chance!  It was a moment he didn't even realize he would be given, and he blew it. If he had more time to prepare, maybe he wouldn't have said such foolish things.

I won't hurt you.

He had the Gaul to say that to the very person he had killed.

All he did was hurt Mihou.

He... Never meant to. Never did he do something with the goal of bringing his Mate harm. He left and gained power intending to protect Flower Fruit Mountain, his Tribe, and his love. He just... Lost sight of that somewhere along the way.

He thought things would work out in his foolish youth if he pushed hard enough. Now, he wanted only his family, and he couldn't properly hold onto that.

Wukong wanted to scream, gripping his head tightly to smack himself over the skull. "Idiot..." Over and over, he hit his head, pressing his palms to both sides of his skull and squeezing. "Stupid Monkey...!"

His brute force made his head ache and reminded him all those years ago of the circlett that once rested around his forehead. He couldn't fully replicate it, as much as he tried... As much as he wished he could. Maybe then he could get it through his thick skull.

If he could somehow rip the immortality from himself, to offer his life to Mihou in payment for his actions- he would if he could!

Would you?

"!!"  His thoughts reminded him of Xiaotian. Would he be willing to leave his Son alone and let Mihou take his life? Or even leave Xiaotian with Mihou and never interfere with them ever again? No...  You are too selfish to do that.

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