Playing with Forever

Chapter 3: The Guidance Counselor

I hadn't said anything to Sam in two days besides, "Can you please grab that pen I just dropped? It rolled underneath your desk." And he handed it to me, no sarcastic look, no glare, nor an evil eye. I supposed that was progress.

The determination inside of me decided that I needed to make an effort again. When I was finished with the assignment in Study Skills, I turned to him. He was reading, like he usually was in empty class time. I thought it was how he escaped from people.

Attempting to make conversation, I asked, "What are you reading?"

He didn't look up. "The Scarlet Letter."

"Oh," I winced. "I read that one in ninth grade. My teacher made us all come up with a negative character trait we had, and then we had to wear the letter that represented it for a week."

Sam seemed to humor me out of boredom, turning his page and asking, "And yours was...?"

I smiled in remembrance and my reply came out before I really thought about it. "I didn't wear one. My trait was rebelliousness."

Sam turned and looked at me for a minute. Sudden regret tore through me. Why in the world did I tell him that? He was finally really looking at me. Not just looking, he seemed to be judging every aspect of me, looking into my past with those warm, brown eyes. I shrank back into my chair and folded my arms, resorting to stare at my thrifted boots.

I was fantastically glad that the dark circles under my eyes were fading, the inky, bruised-looking things that had appeared over the last couple years slowly seeping away. Plus, Birdie had found me some thick concealer for the time being, but I wondered if Sam could tell.

I wondered what he saw in me.

An eternity later he responded. "I find that hard to believe," he said. But there was something in his voice, something that sounded like mild interest. Perhaps he really had seen something inside of me. Maybe somewhere in my eyes when I said it, there had been a sparkle of something unknown, hidden away, and human. Something of the person I used to be so long ago.

I only shrugged.

Two weeks after arriving at Hartford, I was called into the counselor's office for a conference. Mrs. Hansen was a bit of a cupcake, overly enthusiastic and so sweet she left you with a toothache, but her intentions were so sincere that I couldn't hold it against her.

"So, tell me: how are you doing here, Miss Abby?" Mrs. Hansen asked as she offered me a sucker from a bowl of bright candy on her desk.

I happily took a lollipop and sat down. Candy was almost as good as soda in my book. The couch, to my surprise, practically gobbled me up, and I had to clutch the arm to avoid disappearing into the depths of old leather. "Um, I'm alright, thanks."

"Have you made some friends?"

"Yeah, sort of," I replied as I tried to shift myself to the edge of the couch. "Mina Lui and her friends have taken me in, and I've been hanging around the volleyball team."

"Congratulations, but the way. I know you'll be a fantastic addition to our team."

Maybe, but I wasn't making any guarantees yet. I nodded anyways. "Thank you. I'm really excited."

"Excellent, that's great. We encourage every student to join some sort of extracurricular activity, not just for college applications, but because it's so good for you young people. You know, they've done studies..." 

I smiled as she went on about extracurriculars, and I took the opportunity to brace my feet against the edge of the couch so I wouldn't fall back into it. It was a bottomless pit of worn green leather. How many kids had gotten lost in the depths?