Playing with Forever

Chapter 35: A Busted Can of Soup

I made it to my car and slid inside but didn't both to turn it on. So much, this soulmates/destined/immortal love thing was all so much. I didn't want to think about it, I wanted to push it away and pretend that nothing had changed, but I couldn't keep the thoughts away.

Sam was immortal. He was never going to die. He'd be alive until the end of time, just wasting away the time with Emile. I mean, they did productive things. They had chosen to help humanity with their immortal gifts. They both had fought in wars. Emile was an excellent medical professional, since he had so much experience and knowledge from bygone eras. He used his power to influence big medical decisions for the better.

Sam did important things, too. He hadn't admitted anything to me, but I knew he used his power to help people. He helped with the fire all those months ago, when we were coming home from the museum. Since he knew it wouldn't kill him, just hurt him, he ran through the flames to save that baby. He'd helped a girl being attacked by a dog that one day I saw him covering his bloodied shirt beneath a hoodie before school. He was always coming to school with scratches and burns and bruises, though they quickly disappeared with his immortal health. He did that stuff a lot. When he saw an incident that he knew he could help out with, he did it.

But to live forever, without death looming over him. What was that like?

No, to live forever without the person you were destined for. To know that there was once someone out there for you, one person for your entire eternity, and they had gotten away. Knowing that you would never get another chance at love, not for the rest of eternity. It just wasn't fair.

But Sam. My Sam.

For the rest of his eternity, he would never love anyone again. Nobody but me. If I died, he would just sit around for the rest of eternity, knowing that it would never end, his loneliness, his missing me.

I curled into myself. Me?

Me?

There had to be a mistake. To be so in love with me that he would never feel anything for another person for the rest of eternity? It just wasn't possible.

Nobody but me.

He didn't deserve it. He didn't. Not Sam. He deserved a normal girl. A beautiful, kind, undamaged girl who could love him normally. Someone who wouldn't shake with fear when he kissed her. Someone who had never been broken. Someone who owned more than few hundred dollars' worth of possessions. Someone who had a family to take him back to. Someone who wasn't afraid.

Someone who was okay. Because no matter how much we danced around it, I still wasn't okay.

I love him, I love him, I love him.

That's why I couldn't stand to let this happen to him.

The passenger side door squealed as it opened, letting Sam slide into the car with me. I wiped the tears on my face angrily as he swung to door shut, leaving us alone in the car together.

"I am sorry, Abigail," he said miserably when he saw my tears. "I know it must be overwhelming. I just wanted to be honest with you, so if you do not want any of this, you do not get in over your head. So you can get out while you can."

I sniveled pathetically. I didn't want to get out of it. I wanted to stay right there with him. I wanted to fall asleep in his arms, rest my face against his chest, and feel the love that he radiated for me. "I don't want to get out, Sam," I whispered through my tears. "I don't want to get out."