CHAPTER🦊13🐧

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POV: SUNOO

Now I've been sitting on the swing for 20 minutes, waiting for Sunghoon. It's gotten quite dark by now. After Sunghoon left, I messaged him about when he should meet me here, but he didn't reply. Well, at least he read it.

It's getting really cold, and I can't go home to get a jacket. What if he comes at this moment? I just have to wait a bit longer. I'm sure he'll come.

After another 20 minutes, I wasn't so sure if he'd come anymore, so I got up. As I was on my way home, I heard faint screaming, so I quickly turned around,

"Sunghoon?" What is he doing here? And why is he running? "I-I'm sorry for being late I had some things to do.","What could have taken you 40 minutes?" What was he doing for so long? "Ah, that doesn't matter now. Let's go for a walk since we're already here."

We slowly walked in sync towards the sea. I really thought he wouldn't come, but waiting in the cold for him was worth it. Just as I thought that, a little giggle escaped my mouth,
Sunghoon then looked at me confused, I then dragged him closer to the sea.

"let's go to the sea". Now we were standing so close to the sea that the small waves touched the tips of our feet. I loved the sea it was so beautiful the wonderful deep blue color, the salty scent in the air, and the best, the sound of the waves crashing against each other it calmed me and gave me courage.

i loved here just as I love beautiful things. The only downside is that everything beautiful has thorns that can hurt you. Suddenly, Sunghoon tapped me from the side,

"What are you thinking about now?" he said, grinning slightly. "Nothing important," I said softly. "You know, sometimes, I feel really bad not knowing what you think or feel." Why did he say that? "Don't worry I'm not thinking anything important," I said

after a short silence. I sat down in the sand, and shortly after, Sunghoon sat down next to me. As he sat down, I remembered why I wanted to meet him. Slowly, I reached into my jacket pocket and held the fluffy something in my hands.

How should I give it to him? I looked to the side. It looked as if Sunghoon was also in his thoughts the way he looked at the sea with his shining eyes so angelic
I'm sure my gift isn't half as beautiful as him.wait.what?!. what was i thinking?

Slowly, I tapped Sunghoon, and when he looked at me in surprise,I pushed my closed fist towards him with both eyes closed. It really wasn't on purpose my gift was in my fist I didn't want to hit him .but. .I. .did.

"Oh my god, Sunghoon! Are you okay? I'm so sorry I just wanted to give you my gift, really.", "You're giving me a fist?" Sunghoon said laughing, although at that moment his nose was bleeding and he felt pain, I could see it. I could see that he was trying to cheer me up. "Sunghoon, you're bleeding," I said quietly. I quickly grabbed tissues from my pocket.

After the bleeding finally stopped,
Sunghoon looked up and our eyes met. He smiled, why was he smiling?,
He should be mad. Once again, I ruined everything with my clumsiness. I always ruin everything.

"Was that really my gift?" "What gift? Oh, no, of course not." Slowly, I opened my clenched fist, realizing how tightly I had been holding it. There were faint scratch marks I really should cut my nails more often.

"Here." "What is it?" "It's an angel pendant, Sunghoon." "It's beautiful, thank you." "It's not supposed to be beautiful, it's meant to protect you." "How is it supposed to protect me?" "Don't worry about that,I talked to it, and it promised me to protect you.

Sunghoon I'm really sorry,  for what I did with you and Stacy. I regret it deeply. I treated both of you as if it were a game,  your two year relationship. I feel so ashamed for destroying everything. I genuinely hope that despite the terrible things I've done to you guys, you will find happiness, whether together or apart."

"Don't do this, Sunoo. Look at me. I was too harsh on you earlier, I know, and I'm sorry. I know you would never do something like that without a reason. I can see it. your eyes radiate kindness and compassion. You're really one of the kindest souls I've ever seen. Despite holding onto your little sister, loving her, and doing things for her just to not lose complete contact with her, even though she hides you from her friends and loved ones. That truly shows what a loving person you are. I trust you, and I trust that you would never hurt anyone without a reason or for fun. Never. So, don't speak so poorly about yourself. I just wish you could see yourself through my eyes maybe it would help you to see yourself better."

Did he really think that about me? Slowly, tears welled up in my eyes. I haven't had any friends until now, and when I tried to make my family my friends, I failed. I'm so pathetic that even the simplest words could bring tears to my eyes, and I'm really not proud of that. Slowly, I felt a soft but warm hand on my cheek.

"Sunoo, why are you crying now? That's what I meant by not knowing what you think and feel it drives me crazy. Talk to me. Is there something still bothering you?" Sunghoon said with a soft voice. There it is again, that soft voice that could melt me away.

"It's just that I-I don't know where to start. I've never had someone I could really trust in, just my sister, and even her not always. So, I don't even know how to talk about my problems, or even express my feelings, and make my thoughts understandable. I don't know anything, so  just don't ask me. I'm fine I'm always fine."

"Don't say that. You have me now. You can talk to me and share your problems. You can take as much time as you need, don't worry. If it's uncomfortable for you, we can stop. You just need to start somewhere. When you're not feeling well, talk to me, trust me, it will make you feel much better," Sunghoon said, the last sentence with a light laugh.

And I began to speak.  to speak everything that was on my heart at that moment.

"But you know what hurts the most?"
I said with a soft laugh."It's that my efforts are in vain. Everything is getting worse, even though I'm only two years older, I raised her, as a child. I became her mother and father when I was just a kid myself. I gave her so much love so that she wouldn't notice the absence of our parents, so that she wouldn't turn out like me"

I looked down. It became more difficult to hold back my tears as suddenly old memories flashed before my eyes. "But maybe, just maybe, it was too much. Over the years, I've realized that too much of anything is deadly" I paused for a while, I couldn't believe I would ever tell anyone this. after I sighed i began speaking softly again.

"It doesn't matter how, but it's definitely my fault that my sister now hates me. But she's now happy, which also makes me happy. Still, it hurts not to be a part of her life, even though just a few years ago, I didn't even know what a day without her felt like. I was two when she was born, so there was never a day we were apart.'

"Sunoo, I'm really sorry. I know how it is to lose a sister. However, I'm jealous of you. You still have the chance to win her back. You know-," Sunghoon stopped talking for a brief moment and looked up at the starry sky. Is he okay? I've never seen him like this before. When he turned to look at me again, I could see tears in his eyes."I haven't been to the sea in years"

"Why?"I asked  confused
"My littel sister.She d-drowned at the age of 8 during our last and first vacation together sh-she drowned  Sunoo." He slowly looked back at the sky, his eyes filled with hope as if he could see her in the clouds. Sunghoon, I wondered what he must have been through at such a young age, yet he always looks so happy.

"This is the first time I've been by the sea in five years, and I feel safe because you're with me. I-I will do my best to help you with your sister. Life is deadly.'

"Sunghoon, I'm really sorry, I didn't know," I said softly. How could I talk about my sister while he had lost his forever? I just hoped I wasn't rubbing salt in his wounds.

"It's okay, Sunoo. How could you have known?" Sunghoon said, smiling again. That's the second time he smiled, despite the visible pain he felt. That reminded me of our conversation at our  first meeting back then. I said if you smile too often, half of it is fake. I didn't know how right I was. Sunghoon smiled his pain away. I hope he realizes one day that wounds don't heal by ignoring them.

i hop you liked chapter 13 byee

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