JJK Oneshots

Venting through poems (Geto)

A/N: Just some venting on my part, through a request I got on tumblr for Geto and a reader that vents by writing poems. I can't do poetry to save my life, at least not in english, so you won't get a poem from me, but you do get comfort fluff

It was just so much. So much stress, so much work, so much everything. You felt like time was just slipping through your fingers. Everything was passing you by and you couldn't grab onto anything.

"Why does this have to be so damn hard?" you muttered as you loaded the dishwasher.

Everyone else was doing fine, so why couldn't you? Why couldn't you just do the things others seemed to be able to do so easily? Everyone else could finish their assignments on time, why couldn't you? Everyone was able to at least keep up appearances of managing their life, and you felt like you couldn't even do that. Sure, you'd managed to keep yourself from drowning in all this crap, but you couldn't keep treading water forever.

You weren't exactly sure how you'd managed to keep Geto off your case for so long. Sure he'd pretty much been working nonstop for the last month, and had only been to the apartment occasionally. He'd even been sleeping at his office. The times he did come home, you'd managed to keep up appearances just enough that he'd thought you were only a bit tired. Besides, he didn't need to worry about you too, he had enough on his plate already. No matter how much you missed him, his touch, his hands on your hips, him whispering sweet nothings into your ear, you didn't want to burden him.

You finished loading the dishwasher and turned it on. At least you'd managed to do one thing. You went to grab your diary from your nightstand drawer and then walked back into the kitchen to sit by the table.

You were procrastinating doing your university assignments yet again. You hadn't even started the essay you needed to turn in the next day. You felt like a lazy piece of shit. Why couldn't you just get things done? It was just an essay, it was even a topic you were somewhat interested in, but nope, you just couldn't do it. Instead, you decided to write something else. You'd always found poetry therapeutic, especially when you wrote it by hand instead of tapping away on your phone.

Your poem ended up being quite the stream of consciousness kind of thing, but writing your thoughts down on paper helped. It was no miracle cure to your ailment, but at least you got some of your thoughts out.

You left your diary, an unremarkable notebook, on the kitchen table as you went to the bathroom.

The last month had been incredibly hectic. There was a big event coming up next week for his cult, and Geto had been busy preparing for it. Writing his speech, and making sure everything was going smoothly. Of course he had assistants and people to handle these things, but he had the final say, so he had to approve everything.

Geto couldn't help but miss you. Everytime he had gone home, you had seemed increasingly tired. Your usually witty remarks had turned bland, and you seemed almost apathetic at times. He usually wouldn't put his work first when you were in such a state, but the event that was coming was very important for the cult, so he couldn't really help it. Now that he had finished his speech and had left very specific instructions for his assistant, he felt like he could finally relax a little bit. He could finally make sure you were alright.

When Geto came back home and walked into the kitchen, he saw a notebook on the table. He didn't think much of it as he picked it up and started flipping through it. He didn't really read much, a word here, a sentence there, until he got the page with the most recent date. He didn't even hear the toilet flush nor the running water as you washed your hands as he read through the poem.

"Why are you reading that?" you gulped as you returned to the kitchen.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean-"

"Oh? You didn't mean to read it?" you interjected as you grabbed the diary from his hands. "Then why did you?" you asked tearfully.

"Honestly, when I started reading I couldn't stop. Is this truly how you've been feeling lately?" he asked, motioning at the notebook, a pit of dread settling at the bottom of his stomach.

It's not like he'd even missed the signs really, he had ignored them in favor of his work, and willingly or not, he had let you start spiraling.

"Even if I was, you had no right to read it without my permission, it's private" you sniffled, clutching the diary to your chest.

"I apologize for reading it, but it's necessary for me to know if you're feeling like this. You don't need to be alone with this" Geto said, placing his hands on your shoulders and rubbing them.

"But what if I want to be? What if I don't want you to have to worry about me on top of everything else?" you noted, letting your arms fall to your sides, still holding the diary in one hand

"What do you mean everything else? There is nothing else when you're not doing well" Geto said softly and pulled you into a hug.

By god how you'd missed this. His embrace, his warmth, the beating of his heart in your ear as you pressed the side of your head to his chest. He rested his chin on top of your head as he held you. You could feel all the apathy and the self-loathing melting away as he hugged you tightly and you returned his embrace.

"I do want to talk to you, Suguru. I just... I don't really know how. It's so much easier to write it down and not have to explain anything to anyone" your voice was muffled by his robes as you explained.

"I know the feeling, believe me" he sighed and kissed the top of your head. "You don't have to explain anything to me if you don't want to, but I still feel I deserve to know when the person I love is not doing well. Even if you don't want to explain the reasons, at least let me know when you're feeling down"

"Yeah, yeah"

Geto pulled back and took your face into his hands with an intense look in his eyes.

"Promise me?" he asked, looking at you intently.

"I promise" you sighed, but your lips curled into a small smile nonetheless.

"Good girl" he smiled and pressed a kiss on your forehead.