CHAPTER 34 🔞

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Non-showbiz boyfriend

   IT WAS hard to live a life you weren't even sure if you wanted to live in. Woking up after an accident is hard, especially if you don't remember any memories you bore before you had the accident.

I still remember when I woke up in the hospital three years ago, and the doctor announced that I had Amnesia— Retrograde Amnesia. I remember all of the memories I have created for the past years since I was born, except the years before I got into an accident.

"I'm going to be honest with you, Miss Altamirano. Hindi natin masasabi kung kailan ba babalik ang memoryang nawala sayo. It might take a couple of weeks, months, or even years. But I assured you that your brain can recover, and you'll regain your memory, but there will be no exact date, when." My doctor said three years ago.

That day, my world crumbled.

Losing my memories is like losing my freedom.

I have so many questions. I wouldn't even know where to start asking. I don't even know how to manage them in my brain. Am I ever going to remember? Is it going to be too late by the time I do? A lot can change in three years, but the pain was still engraved in me.

My life becomes a puzzle. I have to figure out where the missing memories are and put them together so my life will be complete.

My parents brought me to the States for better medical attention. But moving to another country wasn't easy. Especially, if you don't remember some events of your life.

"Are forgotten memories still in the brain?" I remember I asked my doctor, who's an American neurologist.

"Yes. There's still memory traces in the brain that can wake up and reactivate."

I bit my bottom lip. "When will I recover my memories? Can I force myself to remember?"

He sighed and fixed his eyeglasses. "It's better if you don't force yourself to remember those memories. There's a chance your memories might blocked out. I advise you to let your memories come back naturally." He gave me a smile. "For now, make new memories. Happy memories to be exact."

Even after years of making new memories, the pain resurfaced every time I dream about my missing memories. Blurry, black-and-white scenarios, only voices were vivid.

I badly want to remember all my memories within the year I lost my memories. I need to recall my memories of that year. I must regain those memories to move forward.

I drown myself in working my ass off until I cannot think of those blank memories. I decided to take new photos for my portfolio that I'll be sending to different modelling agencies. I picked a plain black tube crop top and high-waisted denim pants, completing the outfit with high heels. I let my hair fall on the back of me. My make up was subtle, yet it enhanced my features.

I use my professional camera to take photos. I take whole body pictures, half-body, and shoulder-length pictures. I took three shots each before I decided which of the nine photos I should put on my portfolio.

The morning after that day, I told my parents about my plan. Mom got excited about my decision, and so did I. My parents, siblings, and cousins were supportive of my decision to be a full-time model.

While waiting for the response from the agencies, inabala ko ang sarili sa ibang bagay. I enrolled on the gym, shopped for some things, went to the beach, watched basketball games, went to the Super Bowl, and hired a personal trainer who would help me improve my walk.

A month passed before I received an email from one of the agencies I applied for. The email was from IMG Models, one of the top modeling agencies in New York. I gasped and covered my mouth while reading the email. I can't believe this!

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