Am I The One That Got Away, Dear Sherlock?

Chapter Nine: I Don't Know What You're Talking About, Mr. Holmes.

What have I done? John and I finally became intimate and I managed to ruin everything.

I stared at John, who was over by the window, smoking his pipe. His clothes were all wrinkled, while having his robe fall slightly off his shoulder. I had my hands covering my mouth, I didn't lose sight of John, but I couldn't say anything to him. It had to be an hour of us not speaking to each other, of just silence.

"John..." I let out softly, I didn't know if he had heard me or not. He turned to me, pipe in his mouth; only to see that his eyes were red. What have I done?

He got up from his spot, walking over to me. He bent down to eye level with me, grabbing my hands to place them into my lap. He just smiled softly at me. My heart ached for him; I didn't know what was going on in my head. Why couldn't I get Sherlock out of my head? I didn't want this to happen at all, I just want to be with John.

I grabbed his pipe, placing it on the nightstand. I managed to get a hand out and placed it on John's cheek, rubbing and soon going through his messy hair.

"John, I am so sorry." I was still quiet, even though I was speaking. I was ashamed; he didn't deserve this. He was just so loving to me; he deserves so much better. He said so much to me; he told me that he sees a future with me. Or not, I messed it up; I could feel the tears running down my face. I sniffed and tried to cover my face, "I really am!"

I sobbed louder where John took down my hands and shushed me to calm me down.

"Olivia, calm down. It's not your fault." I stared at John, while he pulled me up to go in for a hug, "You were worried about Holmes. How you asked where he was on the train. While I was looking for you, the owner told me you were looking for him."

Having John hold me did calm me down; he brushed my hair back; feeling his fingers on my neck just made me close my eyes and hug him tighter. "You were worried about him. I understand." He kissed the top of my head, "I'm not sad, I was a bit taken back. That's all."

He hugged me tight, where I didn't let go, "Are you going to leave me?" I let out, not wanting to look him in the eyes as I asked him this question.

John pulled me away, throwing me back on the bed. "Leave you?" He questioned me. He got on top of me, only to make me laugh, having that smile back on my face; "I would never leave you over this." He nuzzled his face into my neck. "Couples get through this together. That's what we did and we can now move on."

John and I readjusted ourselves to go to bed. My head was on his chest; I could hear his steady heartbeat. John laced our fingers together and kissed my forehead one more time.

When I woke up, John was nowhere in sight. I got into my dress, done putting my hair up, to walk out the hotel. Dublin was magnificent; it was much like London but less crowded.

I went into a lovely dress shop, looking at their wedding dresses. Could the direction of John and I lead to marriage?

The lace dresses caught my eye. How the sleeves where divine, the grown went down in a train; it was just stunning.

"When is the big day?" The storekeeper came up to me. I looked at him, blushing and smiling.

"Oh, no. I'm not-"

"This summer." I heard a voice behind me spoke for me. An arm snaked it's way to my shoulder, pulling me closer to them. I looked up to see Sherlock looking down at me. "Isn't that right love?"

I looked back at the store keeper, who pulled off the dress and handed it to me, "The changing room is in the back, dear."

As he walked away, I turned to Sherlock, "What do you think you're doing, Mr. Holmes!" I yelled at him while he walked me towards the changing room.