He is my liberty. Only him? (Fyodor x reader x Nikolai)

I still can't move on

You stared at the man's purple eyes. It was like you were lost in them, like you were hypnotized by his gaze. Why was he up already? His body is in such a state and yet he seems to be awake. Although on a second look, he doesn't seem like he is fully conscious.

The man seems like he wanted to say something, but couldn't. His lips were slightly parted, audibly inhaling the air. He was still laying down, his body seemed too weak to sit up, yet his hold on your wrist was tight.

Soon his eyes closed again, his grip on you loosened. You still wondered why he even was able to do that, but then you remembered the reason. Your ability. You often forgot about it because you don't use it consciously. However, it was almost always activated.

Your ability was called 'The house of pain and healing'. It was a healing ability. You could turn any building into a sphere where any person, no matter how stressed, hurt or sad they are, would feel comfortable and relaxed, any worries gone.

People's wounds would heal faster if they were treated in a sphere of yours what probably was the reason why the man has woken up so early. You could only activate your sphere on one building at a time. Other abilities didn't work inside in the sphere, so as long as your ability was activated, no one could use their ability inside your house.

You went out of your basement after finishing your check up and made your way to the kitchen. You wanted to make dinner for you and Nikolai, but much to your surprise the white haired man was already in the kitchen with a steaming pot on the hearth.

He noticed you coming into the kitchen and shift his head in your direction.

"And? How's Dos-kun doing?", he asked, leaning on the counter with one hand.

"He's healing properly. There don't seem to be any complications in his recovering process." You decided to not tell him about the short awakening of the man. He knew about your ability or at least he did when you last heard from him all these years ago. Maybe he forgot, after all it was some time ago since you last saw each other.

A bit later you two sit at the dinner table, eating the stew Nikolai made. It was actually pretty good. When you were younger, it was usually you who made food for you both when you were alone. Back then his cooking skills weren't the best as well, almost unedible. And he always needed your help.

Looks like he improved in cooking, at least he can make a good stew now. Probably because he lived alone and most likely had to. At least you think he lived alone. Though there was the chance that he had other relationships with diffrent people. Was he even single at the moment? Or did he have a partner, waiting for him at home.

These questions led you to another one. A question you hadn't thought about before. What was his relationship with the man he brought here? He calls him Dos-kun, so are they friends? Should you ask him?

Who even was the name of your patient? Why couldn't he brought him to a normal, public hospital? Did Nikolai had illegal business going on? Or did the other man? Maybe both of them had. How did he even know where you live? Why did he got here in the first place? You were sure you weren't the only underground doctor and ukriane was pretty far away. Except he was in the area of course. You were probably just overthinking too much. But that didn't stop you from asking Nikolai a question.

"Hey may I ask what his name is?"

Nikolai looked up from his bowl with stew, gulping down the food in his mouth.

"Dos-kun", he says blankly, seemingly serious.

You got a bit annoyed at his answer. You weren't used to his jokes anymore, so you were a bit irritated by him.

"I mean his real name, Nikolai. Not how you call him."

The man snickered, obviously having fun teasing me.

"Just kidding, just kidding", he chuckled. "His name is Fyodor. Fyodor Dostoevsky."

You just sighed annoyed at his teasing, closing your eyes in irritation.

"And what happened that he is in such a state now? Did he blow himself up, or something? And why did you come to me exactly? How did you even know where I am?"

He smirked at you, slightly chuckling before answering.

"Well, an explosion was definatly the reason why were here now. And like I already said, You're quiet famous in the underworld, Angel~"

You just rolled your eyes at the nickname. You always found it exaggerated. You maybe could make people feel better and more peaceful with your ability, but you weren't an angel. You were merely a doctor, an underground doctor to be exact. For you, that wasn't an angel, even though you weren't really religious.

After that you two ate up in silent. You started doing the dishes while Nikolai sat on the couch, turning on the TV. He clicked through the channels, being seemingly unsatisfied due to all of them being in german.

"Ugh, why is everything in german? I can't understand anything", he complained, groaning while sinking deeper into the couch. You chuckled at his whining, turning off the water as you were done doing the dishes. You walked over to the couch and sat down beside him.

"We're in germany. I don't know what you expected." You smirked, slightly showing your teeth.

Nikolai just groaned but stayed quiet. You took the remote and switching onto a streaming platform. He sat up again, his usual smile was on his face again. 

"Ou, you still know me so well, little songbird~", he chirped.

My face dropped at the petname. He called me that when we were younger and it made my heart stung. As much as you wanted to deny it, you still missed him. The feeling of his embrace, his hands around your waist or on your cheeks. The feeling of him beside you in bed, spooning you. You missed these times and you were aware of that. You knew that you still weren't fully over him.

However Nikolai was oblivious to your sudden mood change. He was too focused on the series you put on, finally being able to watch something in a language he understood. It was a series he always loved. We often watched it together which didn't really help to lighten up your mood.

Not being able to be in Nikolai's near anymore, you stood up and made your way upstairs. Nikolai just watched you go with a confused expression, but didn't do or said anything. He probably just thought you were tired.

In your room, you quickly changed into your pajamas and slid under the covers. You wanted to forget about everything. Your patient, Nikolai even yourself. You just wanted to sleep. Unfortunatly for you, you couldn't. You stayed up late trying to get your beautiful, yet painful memories.

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