He is my liberty. Only him? (Fyodor x reader x Nikolai)

It haunts me

Hot water ran over your naked body as you closed your eyes and began massaging shampoo into your hair. You washed it out afterwards and hopped out the shower. Normally the water you showered in was more on the colder side but since it was winter and you liked to keep the windows open for the fresh air, showering cold didn't seem as relaxing as it usually would. Wrapping a towel around your nude form, you walk out of the bathroom, a bit dizzy from the hot shower.

After your incident with Fyodor in the bathroom, your mental health had recovered a bit. And you were really glad about it even though it was just a tiny bit. It was enough for you to feel well enough to do something your mother always talked about. But not your step mother you mostly grew up with. The stories were told to you by your actual mother.

You were too small too really remember things about your biological mother (also considering she wasn't even there most of the time), but for reason you always remembered the stories she told you about her home country. And ever since then you always wanted to visit it. And now that you live here, in germany, you always do this every year like most people in this country.

Go to the Christmas Market.

It was an event that happened every year at the same time and you loved going there. People would put up their stalls on the marketplace, decorate everything festively and later sell various kinds of things like food, decorations, clothes and, of course, drinks. Especially mulled wine was popular.

As you once told Nikolai about the Christmas Markets in germany, he was really enthusiastic and told you that one time he and you would go to one. And today that day has come. Maybe it wasn't going to be exactly what you two had imagined back then but both of you were still excited that it was finally happening.

You walked into your room and opened your closet. You looked over your options for a moment before taking out a black turtleneck and a pair of black jeans. You contemplated for another moment before also taking a pristine white shirt. It's colour reminded you of Nikolai's hair when he was younger. His hair was still white now but over the time it had darken slightly, reminding you a bit of a white seashell. Back then, however, his hair was a clean, pure white like it consisted of snowflakes.

Beginning to dress, you first put on the jeans and the turtleneck before putting on the white shirt over the turtleneck, leaving it open and tucking it into your pants. You looked at yourself in the mirror for some time before nodding, satisfied with you appearence. You made your way out of your room and walked into the room with your stored clothes.

Nikolai and Fyodor were already there. While the russian seemed to already have chosen his attire, Nikolai was still rumaging through the clothes in the boxes and closets. As you entered, you couldn't help but to eye Fyodor. He wore a white pullover with some lavender embroideries at the collar and the sleeves, white pants and a pair of black boots. There was also a black coat drapped over his shoulders.

Nikolai already wore a white pullover as well, the same as Fyodor, only with black embroideries instead of lavender ones. His pants and boots were also black. But he was still rumaging through the closets, searching for something. Fyodor seemed to be slightly annoyed at him.

"Kolya stop it. It's too late now, we have to go any minute."

"But Fedya, I swear I saw them in here. Just give me two more minut- Got them!"

He suddenly shouted, pulling out something out of a box. In his hand he held three scarfs. All looked similar but were still different. One of them was white with a black pattern, one was black with a purple pattern and one was dark grey with a golden pattern. You snickered at Nikolai while Fyodor, almost unnoticably, rolled his eyes.