Harry Potter and the Prince of Slytherin

Chapter 19: Broderick Bode and the Chime of Calamity

[ REDACTED ] 1993
The Early Warning Office
Department of Mysteries

Unspeakable 029 sat alone in the Early Warning office with his feet propped on the desk. It was his lunch break, and he alternated between bites of the somewhat greasy Cornish pasty his wife had prepared and working on the Daily Prophet's crossword puzzle. At the moment, he was stumped on 7-Down (Eight letters. Ends with y. "A disastrous event"). Crossword puzzles were all he had at the moment to alleviate his boredom, which was odd because one might expect the Department of Mysteries to be the least boring part of the Ministry of Magic.

Nine times out of ten that expectation would be correct, but unfortunately, Unspeakable 029 – Broderick Bode when not on the job – had drawn the short straw and was stuck in the 10% boring part – the very most boring part, in fact. It was the policy of the Unspeakables to regularly (and randomly) rotate its membership among its various departmental duties so that every Unspeakable would have some knowledge of everything the secretive department did. For the past four years, he'd been lucky and drawn some exciting or at least interesting jobs. Admittedly, some of them were also terrifying jobs, but fear was a luxury Unspeakables could seldom afford and was less seldom tolerated.

Alas, Bode's luck had run out, and for the foreseeable future, he was assigned to "Early Warning Duty." The job consisted of Bode (and a few other Unspeakables who worked in shifts) sitting in this small office day after day ready to alert the department if any of the fifty-seven chimes hanging on the office walls sounded for any reason. Many of them were warnings of fairly innocuous events, and the most banal simply duplicated the warning systems of other departments as backups. For example, Chime #36 sounded with some regularity as it monitored incidents of accidental magic in public places. There was, of course, an entire department dedicated to monitoring such incidents, but the Unspeakables quietly made a point of double-checking their work. It would not do for some poor Muggleborn to become an Obscurial because a Ministry bureaucrat had been lax in his duties. And so the Unspeakables kept a duplicate file on every bit of accidental magic that occurred in Britain and followed up if anything went weird, things going weird being an essential element of an Unspeakable's job description.

Other chimes were less weird and more nightmarish. Chime #16 would alert the Unspeakables if the inhabitants of the Brain Room were in danger of rousing themselves from slumber to once more plot against the Ministry. Chime #43 would activate if there were any disturbances emanating from a certain pond in the Forest of Dean that was normally concealed by five wards and a dozen Notice-Me-Nots and Muggle-Repelling Charms. The pond was deemed Unspeakable because it was not full of water but rather what appeared to be a vast quantity of human blood. And also because from time to time, things emerged from it, though the Unspeakables had not been called upon to sterilize the area in many years. Chime #9, meanwhile, would let the Unspeakables know if someone or something came out of the Veil of Death. As far as anyone knew, that was utterly impossible, but better safe than sorry.

Of course, the most worrisome chime in the Early Warning Office was also the oldest and the largest. Chime #1 was one of the original seven chimes that had been placed here by the druids untold centuries ago, back when there was no Early Warning Office with a comfy chair, a battered desk, and oak-paneled walls. Long the Romans came, saw, and conquered, this chamber had been nothing but a rough-hewn cavern, and like most of what later became the Department of Mysteries, it had been carved out of the living rock by the forgotten magics of ancient pre-Roman wizards deep below what would one day become Londinium and later London. The Cavern of Seven Dooms, they'd supposedly called this particular chamber. Happily, Chime #1 had never sounded, not in all the time the Department of Mysteries had guarded this chamber after transfiguring it into an unassuming office (and later adding more chimes for things and places that must always be monitored and for events that must never occur).

Personally, Bode thought that Chime #1 would never sound. After all, Stonehenge and its sister sites were as protected against disruption and sabotage by all the power that the Unspeakables could bring to bear, and that power was considerable. And even then, if it came down to it, the Department of Mysteries still had records of the practices and rites of their druid forerunners. If Chime #1 ever sounded and the Old Gods of Britannia returned, the Unspeakables knew perfectly well how to properly fill and deploy a Wicker Man.

Bode took another bite of his pasty as he continued his struggle with 7-Down. Then, he very nearly choked at the sound of a loud sonorous bong. After coughing for a few seconds, he took a swig of tea and then rose to determine which of the chimes had interrupted his lunch. With the second and third bongs, he realized that the affected chime was quite near the front of the room, and for a brief instant of panic, he thought it had been Chime #1 and his overconfident musings had mocked Fate and brought doom upon them all. But no, Chime #1 was still silent and immobile. Those-Who-Wait-In-Darkness were waiting still.

His sense of relief soon ended, however, when he realized that the ringing emanated from the nearby Chime #4. Unlike Chime #1, the fourth chime did sound with some regularity, but typically no more than once or twice a century. Bode was not old enough to remember its last activation, but naturally, he'd read the file and been suitably horrified. He'd also held out hope that he would grow old and die before Chime #4 activated again, but apparently that hope had been in vain. The wizard swallowed deeply and touched Chime #4 with his wand to silence it. Then, he returned to his desk to log the time of its activation before pulling a small mirror from a drawer and tapping it three times. When Unspeakable 001 appeared within the frame, Bode gave his report.

"This is Unspeakable 029. The fourth chime has just sounded this day at twenty-seven minutes past the hour. Please have the Cryptohedron checked immediately for signs of activity. Message ends."

"Message received and forwarded to appropriate staff."

The Head Unspeakable ended the communication without inquiring further of Bode. Unsurprising since, after reporting the probable activation of an Omega-Level artifact, his job as the Early Warning monitor was complete. Whatever happened next would be the responsibility of others. He wasn't sure whether to be disappointed to be out of the loop or relieved to be free of the responsibility. Bode returned the mirror to the drawer and looked back down at the crossword puzzle before barking out a surprised laugh.

"Of course," he thought. "Eight letters. Ends with y. 'A disastrous event.' How appropriate for the times." He picked up his pen and filled in the blanks with precise penmanship that barely showed any signs of a shaky hand.

C-A-L-A-M-I-T-Y.