Lost

Chapter 68

My feet are bare, that is why they do those weird sounds on the floor as I walk into the kitchen where Joss sits at the one end of the table and eats something and Harry sits at the other end, staring on his phone and drinking some coffee. They do not talk at all, Joanna just concentrates on her food as Harry focuses on his mobile phone. I guess one day they have to deal with the issue between them, because I do not exactly plan to end my contact to either of them. Harry is everything to me and Joanna became a big part of my new life, too. She somehow made her way into my heart though I tried to hold her out of it. They both are who they are and I do not want to have to let go one of them because they cannot deal with each other.

"Will it always be like that?" I ask and go to the fridge.

"Yup" they answer in unison.

I turn and look at them. They share a short glare, then they are back at what they have done before.

I sigh. "Ok. Guess I have to find a new home and a new boyfriend then."
"Try to leave and I'll hunt you down" Harry growls.

Joanna gives him a 'hell yes' and says "I will even lend him my handcuffs!"

"Do I even want to know why you have handcuffs?" I ask her and take some food to eat before I sit down right between the both of them.

Joanna looks at me and rolls her eyes. "Why wouldn't I have them?"

"That goes in a very weird direction. Change of topic! How are you doing? You ok?" I want to know and check her appearance.

She grins happily. "I am really, really good. Josh and I decided to give it a go."

Josh. Not my favorite person to be with and definitely not the one I see at Joanna's side. But after all, this is her decision and I can only try to heal her when he breaks her heart. Which he probably will do. Or maybe not.. they are friends. Were friends. Gosh.

"Wow." I gulp. "Uhm.. good for you, I guess."

"I know you both are not that close. But hey, so we both never have to ask the other one out for a date of four. Would only end in chaos."

She is right about that at least so I nod. "True. But still.. be careful?"

"Yeah, well same goes for you." She looks at Harry who then snarls. Or it sounds like that, anyway.

My boyfriend ends up keeping his eyes on his phone, but cannot keep himself quiet. "I know exactly what you think of me, so don't bother holding back. Whatever it is you have to say, just go for it. I'm not a pussy, you know? I can deal little girls freakin' over me."

"Well then" Joanna says " It's good for you, since I fucking hate your guts. What you did to her in the beginning is just what I thought you'd do, motherfuckin' asshole that you are."

Woah, Joanna seems to miss her brain today. I thought she was afraid of him? Does she like suicide out of a sudden?

Harry looks up and gives Joss one look only. It is enough for her to directly back down and shut her mouth. Whatever was on her tongue, it never comes. This look, I know what it feels like. When he stares daggers through your entire body. You can actually feel them ripping you open. It makes me realize once again who he is and that him changing with me, never meant him changing with anybody else as well. Of course he would not.

Harry being different with me is the only wonder I might ever get to see.

"Great, now you fight" I say and shake my head. "I'd really hate to have to clean the floor of blood. Could you then do this outside?" What the hell? What is wrong with me? I frown. "Gods no! Don't keep doing that, I didn't mean that. Stop that fighting, please."