Lost

Chapter 29

I wake up and feel a bit weird. My legs feel like they went totally out of blood and my head is spinning. I know I spent a lot of time on those heels lately, but I finally can walk on Joanna’s lowest heels. Not on my own ones though. They are still a bit too high for that. And so I stand up, take a shower and get a pair of hot pants on, also a boring, black T-Shirt, before I jump into my own heels and start walking through the flat. When Joanna sees me, she is laughing hard.

“Trying again, I see” she giggles and I nod.

“I want this to be ok” I say “I want to be good at walking on them.”

“We can try with your brothers today before going out into a restaurant or something. And tomorrow we can visit Hazard and you’ll walk on those heels like a real bitch.” Joss sounds like she can see the future. But she can not.

“I hope so” I say and get out of my heels before helping her making some food before sitting down at the bar and eating the stuff.

“So you and I are surrounded by your brothers till when?”

I shrug my shoulders. “I do not really know. I guess they will leave tomorrow around six a clock or something. They have work to do.”

Joss nods and I ask her some questions about her style. She tells me why she wears the things she wears and how she came to meet those people. It all happened a few years ago, before Harry came around, and she was first falling in love with Josh, he never knew about that, and then became good friends with him. Joss tells me that Josh met Niall and Niall got him and Liam into that drug thing. That is what makes them fratboys. Harry never came into the scene, according to Joanna. But he did a lot of things worse than that. When I ask her about the things, she tells me she has no clue what actually happened. And everybody who does know is not going to tell anyone. Ain’t nobody is going to talk about whatever as long as it has to do with Harry. I wonder if they are afraid of him. I thought they were kind of.. partners with him since they are not his friends.

At two thirty, the door bell rings and I finally meet my brothers again. They are still Luces and Danyon, still look the same, still have the same way to look at me and still laugh the same way. I notice how much I missed them. I really did.

“Hi” I say and take them into my arms.

They hug me tight. “Hi, Ley.”

I make them come in and when they enter the living room, Joanna still sits at the bar, smiling at us and drinking her coffee.

“Hi” she says and stands up to walk over. She waves at my brothers.

“So this is Joanna” I introduce her to my brothers and then point at my brothers “and this is Danyon and the oldest one of us, Luces.”

“Nice to meet you” Joanna says and shakes hands with them.

“So this is the girl you’re spending most of your time with” Danyon says and watches Joss.

She gives him a sweet smile. “I promise I’m not that bad as a flat mate.”

“I did not say anything bad about you like ever” I say and cross my arms.

Joss winks at me. “Sure, you never do. You probably told them I am a punker girl who takes drugs, forces you to attend parties and makes you walk around like a bitch.”

Joss and I burst out into laugher, my brothers both stare at us in disbelieve.

When we finally stop laughing, we tell them about my high-heel plan and then they are the ones laughing hard.

“You? Walking on heels? Never.” Luces is almost shaking because he is laughing so hard.

“You won’t even walk on shoes with a big sole” Dan jokes.

Joss looks at me and then back to my brothers. “She started as a fool, but she is actually very good right now. She just needs to practice a bit.”

I am thankful at least one person is on my side.

And so I take my shoes and we get outside because we want to finally get into the car to drive over to a park to walk outside on heels. But then I see a great, black car I have only seen once.

“Dads old car” I whisper and stare at it.

My brothers smile and Luces wraps his arm around me. “Yes, exactly. We knew how much you liked it and we thought you should have it.”

“Luces has been waiting a long time, you never wanted a damn car” Danyon adds.

I feel those tears in my eyes. I loved this car, my dad often drove around with me at night in this car. He always told me, I would drive this car at night on my own one day. He promised me, he will look at the stars with me because that was what we always had done.

“Thank you” I just whisper and stare at the car. I can not believe they do this for me.

They hug me again and we finally get into Luc’s car before Joanna and I try to tell him where to drive so that we finally end up at the park.

“It’s great here” Danyon notices and I nod yes.

We get out of the car and I start walking on my heels. I already feel my feet go weak all the way. But Harry’s face is in my head, his mean words replaying every second. I want to show him what I can do actually and that I can do much better if I only want to. He is always making fun of me, I have enough of that like right now. I do not want him to laugh about me, embarrassing me, whenever he can. I did nothing to him at all and he is just being that jerk. So I decided to at least show him that he does not know me and that he is totally wrong with what he thinks about me. I may not be a prostitute or one of his girls he always do things with. I may not be Ginger or the blond girl from the shopping day. But I know that I can walk on heels and be a party girl if I only want to.

I fall only once though I stumble a lot. But I finally can walk on heels without falling. I also learn how to walk straight and with my head up. And when I imagine Harry to look at me, I finally get the ambition to have a straight back, my head up and my legs standing without shaking. I focus on Luces who is standing almost fifty meters away from me. This is the final walk.

“And remember to not walk with straight legs. Go easy, go slow. You have the time to make everybody look at you. You want Harry to notice he is wrong.”

I know that is what I want. And so I nod, stare into Luces eyes and start walking. I first do not get my walk straight and start to stumble again, but I shake my head, smile and imagine Harry to look at me again the way he looked at me, when I fell on the floor at Harper’s. He was laughing about me. I will not let him laugh about me again. And somehow it clicks. And I walk.. I never thought I might walk this way. It is almost easy to do it.

I hear Joanna scream. “Oh my fucking gosh! You can do it, look at you. This is better than me.”

Luces just stares at me in disbelieve and Danyon, who is still walking next to me, watches me and seems to wonder how I do this anyways.

I hear some people whistle, but I do not care. This is an awesome feeling.

When I reach Luces he takes my hand, makes me spin and I walk back to Joanna who is clapping her hands in happiness. Danyon does not even follow me anymore. He instead glares at the guys who stare at me, or my ass. I see someone wink at me.

Since this feeling is totally overwhelming me, I guess I will do this more often..