Lost

Chapter 55

“Scratch that” Joss says and crosses her arms over her bare chest. “I changed my mind. I want to stay here and sleep.”

Before she went to take a shower, she told me she would like to go to Josh and talk about what happened between me and him, because after Harry left, I told her about the situation we had had. But now that she took the shower, obviously she would rather stay at home and relax. I can tell she is tired by the way her lids seem to be very heavy and she tries to cover her yawns with her hand. I do not mind staying at home at all, because I am in a lack of sleep anyway. Last night was the only night after weeks I finally did sleep more than a four hours non-stop. With him there, I do sleep a whole lot better and I am well aware of that. He keeps my nightmares away, distracts me from what is hunting me still after all those years.

“Maybe you should go get some clothes” I mumble and look straight into her eyes. I know she does not have any problems with being naked around other people. She is like a nudist, somehow. But I am not a voyeur, so I do not like watching her do so.

“Don’t like me walking naked around my own flat?” she teases and I roll my eyes.

“Please, Joanna” I try again and she giggles and walks into her room.

I wonder if she is going to be an exhibitionist one day, because seriously, she wears a whole lot of short clothes, everybody can see almost anything from her body. Why wearing anything at all? Not that I would care, she is beautiful anyway. It is just that I would never do such things.

When she comes back, she wears a shirt with a very low top cut and shorts that show of half of her butt. But like I already said, I do not care. Her body, her things to wear.

“Tomorrow is the first of October” she tells me and I wonder how everything went by so fast. Things just happened and it seems to be ages away that I feel into Harry Styles the first time I met him. In Hazard. It is about four month later from that point in my life.

“Time runs” I say and look at the clock.

She notices that and gives me a questioning look. “Wanna go somewhere?”

“No” I shake my head “Wondering where Harry is, is all.”

He said he would contact me later, but it seems he won’t do so. It is about half past seven and I am not sure if he is going to call me or come around or whatever. Maybe ‘later’ means tomorrow anyway? Who knows?

“Wanna go to Hazard?” she asks “For your sake I might just get into my shoes and come with you.”

I know she would do that, since she happens to actually be kind of a good friend. But I am not sure I want to do what she suggested. “Don’t know.. I do not want to be running after him, annoying him.”

“He’d tell you if you were doing so, I’d say” she laughs and winks at me “he’s not one to keep quiet out of politeness. Matter of fact, I’m not even sure if he has the word ‘polite’ in his vocabulary.”

I show of a poor excuse of a smile. “Just worried..”

He changes his mind, changes his mood, changes his opinions, changes everything. And that in a split of a second. Too fast for me to know how to act around him. So I always have to be careful with what I do, how I act, what I say. It is ok for me, really, I just wonder if I did something wrong before he left, if I were supposed to look for him, if he won’t call me.

“I wouldn’t worry about him if lay under a car” she laughs.

I know she is just joking around, but somehow this comment makes me go crazy. “Hey, he is just a person, too. Leave him alone!”